I have been having a difficult time writing enough about any one topic to finish one article… Meaning I have six articles started, and can’t or won’t finish them.
Some of the things that are being shown to me recently are polarizing. Dividing people. Will make some, maybe many people angry.
The truth hurts. And when something hurts, it is natural to go to victim mode, effect mode, and point a blaming finger at someone. At me.
So I have been cowardly, and have been sitting on the fence.
But today I think I’ll overcome the inertia, and say what there is to say.
OK, it’s about vibration, capacities, and what you can get or not get, what you can use, what is going to work for you or not, depending on your numbers. 1When I measure your Starting Point Measurements, I give you a recommendation. It is not cookie cutter… I actually look what would be a step that you can take. Occasionally I say: I don’t recommend anything. That is a bad sign… 🙁 Continue reading “Why are my articles so hard to understand?”
I am starting to notice that what you say you believe is one thing, what you actually believe is expressed a lot more truthfully in your actions and in your reactions.
One of the most useful distinctions I learned from Hungarian author, Margoczi, is the distinction of “devaluing of your ‘I'”
If you have an I that can be devalued, then it must be fixed.
If you compare your I with anyone else’s, and you are higher and you feel smug about it, or your I is lower and you feel bad about it, then you have a fixed mindset.
“What does it matter how many lovers you have if none of them gives you the universe?” French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan posed that question. I invite you to put it at the top of your list of hot topics to meditate on. In doing so, I trust you won’t use it as an excuse to disparage your companions for their inadequacies. Rather, I hope it will mobilize you to supercharge your intimate alliances; to deepen your awareness of the synergistic beauty you could create together; to heighten your ability to be given the universe by those whose fates are interwoven with yours.
In the current live course, from Upset to Communication we have come to the last of the four non-elevated fields of communication, Admirer-admired. My horoscope, above, for the coming week reflects that.
One of my students has already sent me her collage. It has given me a glimpse into her internal conversations that is deeper than I have ever seen… and I have known her for almost six years now.
Collages, where you go through pictures in magazines, or memes on the internet, are the best way to reveal to yourself your relationship, opinion, attitude about the world, about others, about yourself, about effort, ambition, etc.
The Mindset book is the perfect accompaniment to the Reclaim coaching program, and the From Upset To Communication course where we learn the fields inside which all of life plays out.
I have questions coming at me that shed light to misunderstanding of what this work is about. What the course is about. What the program is about.
I have asked for this type of questions. I have asked my student to share with me what they are getting, so I can see where they are off… where I was off… what it is that is misconstrued, misunderstood, or not understood in what I teach… It was a great idea, because unless I know what you got, I can’t help you.
It won’t be easy to share it, so please advance to me some compassion: I am walking on some uncharted territories.
1. You may feel, together with some of my students, that it is all about removing the upset, removing the disagreements, removing all confrontation, including how hard, how difficult it is to do something.
Hi Sophie,
I’ve re-listened the call and here’s what I got up to now about fields (if I got it 🙂 : Fields are an energetic, dynamic space where you (need to) move/go intentionally-consciously so that you can communicate with someone who is already there so that communication flows/leads to a win-win outcome.
In other words, you adjust yourself and ‘switch’ fields according to ‘needs’/situation/circumstance no matter what your usual/’default’ field is (does something like default field exist)
And all that you can do when and if you develop such skills first? And these skills is what we learn in the course?
English is her second language, but here is my translation:
She is asking if the course is to teach you to manipulate yourself, until you can get to a place where your can have no strife… where you please the other person, so they don’t kill you… lol.
No. None of my work is about manipulating, or even changing yourself.
That is the forceful approach to life… the approach that cause wars, fracking, and presidents like Trump.
Strong-arming things, people, yourself.
What is underneath is this: There is something wrong. Something wrong with you, something wrong with me, something wrong with it.
So it is a fixing modality.
Whenever you fix something, the wrongness doesn’t go away, it is there, because it is the core of your being.
The action that takes you to Expanding Human Being is becoming.
The reason we use the worm to butterfly analogy, because no traces of the worm can be found in the butterfly, not physically, not emotionally, not spiritually.
Arrogance cannot be fixed: it will remain in every fixed form. Forcefulness cannot be fixed: it will remain the core of every fixed form.
Becoming is like the seed needs to die to become a plant.
You cannot wrap your mind around it. It is beyond the mind.
I know people with a ton of knowledge but no distinctions.
Distinction is a new way of seeing the world. A becoming.
My job is to cause becoming through seeing the world differently. Through distinctions.
It is like balance: once you get it no one can take it away from you. But if you haven’t gotten it, you can’t get it through explanation, through reading; you have to go through the process of falling and stumbling until you get it.
This is the main reason that humility is the human capacity to all becoming. Humility means: willing to go through what it takes. And experience what there is to experience while going through it.
No jumps in becoming. The mind doesn’t help. Reading doesn’t help. Only going through does it.
2. The second way to miss this work is, I would call, coloring within the lines.
Here is a post inside our Reclaim program, that may help you to see if you belong to this second group:
I am really in an unfamiliar place. A place where the majority of my conscious time is going towards my plans. I honestly feel like I’m in school again. I’m saying this because I hope that my behavior is a reflection of a greater degree of humility.
Where Tai refers to some guy who says we have about 50,000 hours to get it all done, I pause. Now, I realize the number is relative, but it highlights the importance of staying with the pursuit. I surely don’t know how much time I have.
On another note, there’s something that is bugging me. Forgive me if I mess this up, but if humility is about the seeking of knowledge and not the getting of it, could it be that I and others are lacking the foundation for seeking? It occurred to me that I may not possess something necessary to be a great student. When you said to those of us in the Upset webinar that ‘you are not in the class,’ I was dumbfounded.
Then later, I got more of what you meant, but giving myself to something is mostly a foreign approach. Even as I am taking on about as much as I can, at this moment, I feel scarcity saying: hey, there’s only so much you can do in a day so…. I guess what I’m getting at is: maybe there are levels in the depth of humility that I can take on as I learn to manage my life better.
I even realized that sometimes I ask you questions that you refuse to answer, and rightfully so. However, I didn’t know that I was avoiding doing my own work. I’m not sure I know what questions are appropriate to ask you. Is there a guideline I can use so that I don’t ask you questions that are not for you to answer?
This second way of being off… is fear based.
Actually, even the first way is fear based, but the reaction to fear was different there: it was aggression. Here is hiding, cowering, trying, whimpering, backing away from what feels threatening, unpleasant, or a waste of time.
What you want to get is that intellect is not useful in becoming.
Intellect can be actually in the way.
I had the moment clearly when I got my first distinction. It was taught by Werner Erhard himself, and you could hear that he was struggling, intellectually, himself. You could hear that intellect was trying to take him off.
He was attempting to distinguish two. The number two.
The first distinction that alters the rest of life…
For Helen Keller, it was “Water” that created the birth of the paradigm: words. That words are a symbol, a stand-in, for a thing real, a piece of reality.
The moment she got that, she wanted to know the word that was saying: tree, house, me, you.
For me, the distinction “Two” became my “Water” when Werner held up one hand and said “Two”.
It was one hand. One hand. One hand and no second. One hand and in all around there was no hand… no second…
And when I got, hand and no hand make two. hand and everything else make two… I got distinction.
My “evolution”, my becoming became an unbroken path from there.
Now, was it easy to “get it”?
I don’t think so. I had to be there to have my mind blown. There was one other guy and myself who got it.
But that doesn’t mean YOU can’t get it. But you have to let your mind be blown.
That is humility in action. That is growth mindset in action. Becoming. Growing a set of new eyes.
Everything else is hoarding, fixing, explaining.
Change.
The more things change the more they stay the same…
PS: Becoming is rare. If you read the Mindset book, she documents the opposite… very generously.
Humans’ imagination in inventing false, fake becoming is inexhaustible.
And because people really would like to become, the fake becoming paths sell like hotcake. This is the secret the gurus, spiritual teachers, more money teachers, more love teachers, more time teachers capitalize on.
None of them teach you how to become, in fact they haven’t done the work themselves, they use the tone of voice, the right words that sound like they have become, but they are fooling you, fooling themselves.
And that’s why you feel like you should get a magic potion to turn your beggar into a prince or a princess. With no work.
If enlightenment is the way they describe, then it should descend on you…
But, between you and me, the “water” experience or my “two” experience could be called the real enlightenment… the starting point of an arduous and long journey, climbing up on the Tree of Life.
The Buddha didn’t do it. Osho didn’t do it. “Jesus” didn’t do it.
Enlightenment not considered the starting point is false gold. An insight.
If you look, carefully, now you know why you are not happy.
Here is another quote: People get married because they want their lives witnessed. When your life is witnessed you feel alive… I was par phrasing the Susan Sarandon character’s words in “Shall we Dance?”
The best way to make sure you are on the path to happiness… is actually to be in a coaching program.
In my 67 step coaching program I witness your life.
Obviously, if you don’t care what I see: if you don’t care that I see that there is no harmony in what you think, what you say and what you do, then it is not really doing much for you…
It’s January, and a good large percentage of the searches on my site are for the mindset of money… People’s mind is on abundance this month… and it will stay there till April…
I have been observing people and businesses for decades. If you made it through March, then you probably made it another year… but the sense of impending doom begins in January.
I read a story about a woman who gave away ALL her money.
She was, a millionaire (or close to it) at the time. In any case, she came from money.
Her grandfather was a famous industrialist. Her parents had owned houses and property all over the world.
Thing is, this woman (who had been born into all this money and the lifestyle it afforded) didn’t feel right about it.
She felt she hadn’t earned it.
So she gave it away, ALL her entire inheritance. Lock. Stock. And Barrel.
I have been having a difficult time writing enough about any one topic to finish one article… Meaning I have six articles started, and can’t or won’t finish them.
