Category: attitudes

The importance of being: who you are being, from where it all comes, your actions, your feelings, your results

It’s obvious to me: I am not succeeding in conveying the importance of being.

And another thing is starting to get clear: everything we think about attitudes is off… sometimes a lot, other times a little.

So I am going to muse here for a bit, a see if I can make more sense of it, for you.

Attitude is a beingness phenomenon. It is not mental, it is not emotional, it is not intellectual. It is a state of being. And yet… it is created by words.

Special words, mind you. But words nevertheless.

You can LABEL your beingness, or your attitude with an emotion word… but you cannot change your emotion… so if that were how attitude is, then humans would never have any power over their attitudes, and therefore their lives.

But humans do… Attitudes are created with words, managed with words, changed with words.

Here is an attitude of arrogance. A superiority. Can you, if you have nothing to go on, change that attitude?

You can’t.

But if you listen in, deeply, to the words, what is there is a version of this:

I am better than you. Only what I say matters, whatever you say doesn’t matter, because I am the big cheese. I know and you don’t, so I’ll tell you. I advise you, I counsel you, I coach you, because I know, I am better than you. Your job in this relationship is to admire me. To validate me. To flatter me. Who do you think you are to open your mouth, tell me what to do, or criticize me?! etc.

Now, being in a state of being has gotten a misleading interpretation, namely that it’s a good thing. But being in a state of being is neutral. You are always in a state of being. The question is: what is your state of being?

Your state of being is what is also called ATTITUDE.

You can look at the being and tell if it is a high vibration being or a low vibration being. If it is constructive. If it is conducive to good relationship, to love, to caring, to productivity, to growth, to good health, etc.

Your being is invisible to you, like water is for the fish. Its LABEL is visible to others.

Because it is invisible to you, you don’t know about it. And you can’t catch what you can’t see…

Our job here is to learn how to see what’s invisible… Because all the power comes from the invisible.

So you go to what you know about, your conscious thoughts and your the feelings you can name.

But your thoughts and feelings are often far from where your being is.

• When I say to someone: you are arrogant… they say: I don’t feel arrogant. Of course you don’t… arrogance doesn’t feel, because it is a being. It is obvious to others, invisible to you.
• When I say to someone: you are stingy… they say: I am not. I am very giving… but the beingness of stingy isn’t even something they can wrap their mind or feelings around.

But, listen up!

ALL your actions derive themselves from the attitude, the being. Your feelings and thoughts have rarely any relevance at all.

Being able to have a certain attitude is a good thing… but not all attitudes are available to you unless you have the capacity for that being, for that attitude.

Generosity is one of these attitudes… you can do the moves of generosity, you’ll praise someone, you allow them to finish their sentence, but you are doing it, against your better judgment. You are doing it because you want something. You have an agenda.

Or you DO compassion… but your attitude is contempt. Or superiority. Or ‘I am better than you.’

You DO love, but your attitude is contempt.

In my last romantic relationship we first shared MY apartment in New Jersey. Then we moved to New York because of his job. And then we lived in HIS apartment.

His attitude in the relationship was: ‘I am the boss. Unless you please me I’ll kick you out. Everything that is yours is also mine, but if you touch MY stuff, I kick you out. You better keep MY house clean, cook dinner for me, or you are history.‘

What is YOUR hidden attitude with your significant other?

Authentic being doesn’t have an agenda. Neither a hidden agenda, nor a overt agenda. No agenda.

When you have the authentic being of generosity, you don’t shut up so people will like you, so they listen, so you get what you want. No, the authentic being of generosity is for no reason at all. You are not in scarcity… Scarcity expresses itself in agendas, winning, getting, and such.

So now what?

You are inauthentic, that’s what. And you lie about it.

Most attitudes make you miserable. Like being stingy. Like being arrogant. Like being tentative, cautious, and withdrawing.

Why? Because your higher self communicate to you through pain and bad feelings.

It is not a guidance voice, as they preach it is, no. It is a punishing guidance… and of course you have no ears to hear, no eyes to see, so you suffer, and get no guidance from it.

In order to get guidance, you need distinctions, but you don’t have many… and the ones you have are Tree of Knowledge: you learned them from someone who learned them from someone… who ultimately made it up. Mostly the Dark Side.

So you listen to your feelings as guidance, and your listen to your mind chatter as guidance, and they are saying all kinds of things, and you are left… hey, let’s tell the truth: powerless.

So, what can you do?

• You can do what most people will do: try to fix their feelings or their minds. Plenty of programs for that.
• or you can do what I do, what I did, and what I recommend that you do:
  

  Step out from the circle of noise into the circle of silence.

Step into being. What being? The first being you can step into is “I am not my feelings and I am not my thoughts. I am not my history, I am not my body, I am me.”

You can try to do it on your own, and you’ll see if you have the capacity or not.

If you already have the capacity, you’ll experience the silence. And you can open your eyes and see what you should do, without having to think about it.

If you don’t already have the capacity to step into being, you’ll know, because you won’t have a place to step into. The noise will continue, the feelings will continue, and maybe even get louder.

The capacity, I call, Step Into Being, can be activated for you, and if you practice it enough, it will stick. ²

The being it allows you to step into is simply the being of silence. The being of stepping outside of the hubbub.

But for most of you, that will be a revolutionary step, the step that will make all the difference.

If you don’t need it, this is not a good time. It will just turn off.

Unless you have more than 10 opportunities and needs a day to use it, it will turn off.

Guaranteed.