Become all you can become by raising yourself higher on the Tree of Life

The dynamics of getting stuck… Or why isn’t my life getting any better, in spite of all the things I do?

Why and how you got stuck?

When you see that acting would make a positive difference, but you don’t act.
When you see that if you did what you said you would do, you could… but you don’t do it.
When you see that staying angry or right will cost you everything you ever wanted… but being angry or being right is soooo justified…!

What is it that counters you taking that action, when you don’t do what you see would be a good move?
What is winning when you are obviously losing?

Obviously, as always, the answer to those questions is under the hood.

Obviously, because above the hood you are losing. But under the hood, something or someone is winning…
Continue reading “The dynamics of getting stuck… Or why isn’t my life getting any better, in spite of all the things I do?”

The Law of Action

There is a huge misunderstanding that most of you are the victim of: thinking that you need to be ready to do something, that you need to get rid of fear or discomfort to do something.

One of my clients is dealing with an issue. To solve the issue, I asked him to talk to people in the same kind of business as his, to pick their brains what to do in the winters when there is no snow… i.e. there is no business, no revenue… and he still has to pay his employees.

He is afraid. I get that. But he is not doing what I asked him to do, and I don’t get that… WTF? Is he going to let the company die? What a waste.

When I checked him, a minute ago, he had turned Life Force aka ambition capacity off… dead as a door nail.

All this work for nothing… He may not benefit, but you could… so here is the law of action, teaching you that action doesn’t need you to feel like action, it only needs you to act… Duh.

The capacity that’s missing, interestingly, is the capacity of seeing hierarchy: what comes first, what comes second. And it seems that culture is repeating this delusion… that you have to stop being afraid before you can act. B.S.

The Law of Action
No matter what we feel or know, no matter what our potential gifts or talents, only action brings them to life. Those of us who only think we understand concepts, such as commitment, courage, and love, one day discover that we only know when we act; doing becomes understanding.
Continue reading “The Law of Action”

It’s in your DNA… but it’s not working. But why?

You’ll get the most out of this article, if you map it on yourself, on your life… Everything I write about you can find in your own life, in one form or another.

On Tuesdays I do my grocery shopping. Oftentimes I buy something chocolate, not a whole lot, a few bites I can finish before I get home. Other times I buy more…

I always know I did something really stupid within a few hours… Sugar doesn’t agree with me. Continue reading “It’s in your DNA… but it’s not working. But why?”

Power tip: locate yourself… in reality

One of the things that immediately de-fuses an explosive situation, being frazzled, stress, etc. is accurately identifying what is going on, where you are at.

It takes stepping outside of the situation, looking at it from there, to identify what is going on.

You may have over committed… and so you are overwhelmed
You may have made promises without consulting the people you live with, and so your are out of integrity
You may be trying to prove that you are special… so you are in greed

etc.

Once you see exactly what the situation is, restoring peace, restoring calm, restoring effectiveness is a piece of cake.
Continue reading “Power tip: locate yourself… in reality”

Scarcity Thinking? Why knowing this will make you happy?

People (you) throw around words like they mean something, but in fact they (you) have no idea what they are talking about. And to boot, the words themselves stand in for many words, that don’t match well with the word used to “abbreviate” the phenomenon.

Scarcity is such a word. Scarce… not enough, meager, finite… but how does this apply to scarcity thinking? The attitude of scarcity?

Before I start, let me get something out of the way:

First off, people, you, can’t think, don’t think, instead you use prefab blocks of words and call it thinking. It isn’t. But that, the lack of thinking isn’t the topic of this article, so I’ll just leave it alone, for now.

You see, if I asked you to give me an example, you would be hard pressed to give any, because it would mean actually understanding what you are talking about… but here is a whole article, hopefully, lol, about scarcity… why? Because it deserves to be illuminated, talked about, understood, so you can stop causing yourself being miserable, not even knowing that you did it.
Continue reading “Scarcity Thinking? Why knowing this will make you happy?”

The most generous thing you can ever do…

I wrote in the last article that guiding anyone, including yourself with a positive statement is the fastest way to misery… Positive statements, including affirmations, don’t define anything.

The expression ‘strait and narrow’ is brilliant, because it tells it how it is: the strait, as in the Bering Strait… is the key: everything that is NOT land is the strait… the land defines the strait, nothing inside the strait defines it… only its boundary. Same with a river. And same with generosity.

Giving is NOT generous, giving is giving.

Continue reading “The most generous thing you can ever do…”

A reader writes: an amazing insight about praising

Sometimes a student can say it better than I will ever be able to say…

A lot of you will resonate with this.

If you don’t… that is a sign of an inner desert…

I resonated with it, it expressed me wholly, fully… even though I may be 60% past it. But 40% is still there…

I will put my comments, hopefully, in boxes, near where what I am commenting about. It’s rich and there is a lot to be said.

Enjoy. But most importantly, map what he says to yourself. When you can see yourself in this light, you can start to include it, embrace it, so you can grow.

Hi Sophie

Continue reading “A reader writes: an amazing insight about praising”

Cinematherapy: what does it do? It teaches you to feel.

Movies with good actors do it better…

American actors are mostly useless, but it may be because American directors have no empathy? And yet some of the most missing feelings I got from American TV series I have watched through Netflix. I have recently learned family love, and being able to choose, ultimately, what is win-win… in a series I am watching now, Blue Bloods about a Irish family of cops in New York City. I also had a peek at something I didn’t know I wanted to feel: how religion is for people who have faith…

I don’t know if it is the actors or the director that make the feelings real. But as an empath, I can tell if the actor is good or not, especially when it comes to express strong feelings.

I feel the inauthenticity, when there is no match between the situation and the feeling. With American actors, the biggest issue is that they had never felt what they are supposed to feel: they live in a desert void of feelings… just like a chess piece doesn’t feel dejected or elation… it is moved by someone outside of themselves.

Feelings are the most important ingredients in life. They show, like lanterns, the world… your world.
Continue reading “Cinematherapy: what does it do? It teaches you to feel.”

As long as you are stuck … Cinematherapy anyone?

Most people are stuck… movement is not possible. It can be total or it can be partial.

To see where you are stuck is difficult, because the cause, the stuck part can be several layers deep.

A skilled coach or therapist may fail to find the linchpin issue, because in the normal course of a therapy, it is talking, the words, that are masking it.

One of my students in the Reclaim program has chosen to work with the idea of inspiring movies. Using movies to unstuck people is a brilliant method, and also fun. And even if the first movie doesn’t do the trick, time wasn’t wasted, because a good movie is also a great experience.

Reading people’s responses of where their Dark Side is, looking through the idea of using movies to get them moving again, or maybe moving for the first time, is very appealing.

All movies have an element of “healing by proxy”…
Continue reading “As long as you are stuck … Cinematherapy anyone?”

It is all about where the finger is pointing.

Activism, campaigning

We all want change. The circumstances to change, others to change… We want people to change to what we deem the correct or good way to be.

We want reality to be different.

We put our attention to what’s wrong, in our view, what is missing, in our view.

In essence, we want the world to conform to our norms.

I am describing, to a more or less degree, humanity… though a segment of the population is very loud about it, very verbal about it: activists and campaigners.

The number one ingredient to become an activist, whether it is in your marriage, trying to change your husband and the kids, in school, in industry, in the world, is to have your fingers point, in blame, outward.
Continue reading “It is all about where the finger is pointing.”