Boys, Girls, Gender, and coming to peace…

boys girls genderBoys… I used to want to be a boy.

They seem unperturbed. They laugh a lot.

Today I prefer to be a woman. But as a child I really KNEW something was missing, and for years I thought it was cut off…

I really love this picture. It tells me that boys have more fun.

I remember sitting on the potty waiting for my navel to burst. And I knew it was only a matter of time. I KNEW that I was mutilated below, and I was mutilated there. Although I didn’t know what was cut off, I knew that whatever it was I needed it.

I was 3-4 years old. My feet didn’t touch the ground yet.

I knew I wasn’t welcome, I knew that boys had more of everything. They were loved more. And knew it was permanent. Continue reading “Boys, Girls, Gender, and coming to peace…”

Watching Netflix, Plugged Up Toilet, Higher Vibration

If you know me, you know that I love movies. There was a time in my life when I thought that meant that I should, somehow, work in or with movies.

Today I know better. Movies is Source’s way to talk to me, to open my mind, help make me an Expanding Human Being.

So, what about movies… are you going to talk about movies now? Continue reading “Watching Netflix, Plugged Up Toilet, Higher Vibration”

I Can’t Be Happy Unless… How to get out of your own way?

prayer for messiah, the saviorHere is another example  for the unless (or-ness)… the distinction I’ve been trying to teach you, so far quite unsuccessfully. Why? Because it is really simple, but is really hard… and I am not quite able to express myself clearly yet… I am getting there, I promise.

Here is the article from 2011.

I caught myself, red handed, up to my chin in misery, wallowing… yuck.

I had been depressed for two straight days. It wasn’t someone else’s feeling, it was mine. It sucked. I mean, literally, it sucked me dry, took away my aliveness… Continue reading “I Can’t Be Happy Unless… How to get out of your own way?”

If you love yourself you love your life.

80-20-principle

Good enough, the Pareto principle… how you get tripped up by the numbers

80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts.

This translates to a lot of mischief.

I just read an article, OK, I read 20% of it… lol… about China, and about chabuduo… that is Chinese for Good Enough.

The problem is standards.

Your 100%, the Chinese 100%, and my 100% are not the same.
Continue reading “If you love yourself you love your life.”

Arrogance. Ignorance just hides behind it…

arrogance is looking down... comparisonI have been dealing with arrogance in my students.

Arrogance is unearned boastful superiority.

Most people don’t know and don’t care because they themselves are not achievers… but you can have confidence that is justified by your accomplishments, your superior knowledge. Continue reading “Arrogance. Ignorance just hides behind it…”

Taking things personally

dont-take-it-personally2The hardest thing to navigate, at least for me, is to take myself out of the center… Maybe because of my soul correction “Forget Thyself” but it comes back to make me miserable periodically.

I have been testy lately.

I have always wanted to be significant. Do significant things. Be admired… blah blah blah.

What I didn’t realize that like everything ego desire based, desire to receive for the self alone, it has a shadow side.

When you are significant, and someone doesn’t give you what you think they are supposed to… you are angry and miserable.

So this is what has been going on…

Please listen with compassion… or not… it’s really up to you. But if you can listen with compassion, you may learn something that can make a difference for you… If you listen with judgment, your misery will deepen… I will be fine either way.
Continue reading “Taking things personally”

Want to become a nice person? Here is a clue that you aren’t

Self satisfaction alone cannot determine if a desire or action is positive or negative. The demarcation between a positive and a negative desire or action is not whether it gives you a immediate feeling of satisfaction, but whether it ultimately results in positive or negative consequences.

Every soul correction is about correcting the desire to receive (Light) for the self alone.

If you were born, you have a soul correction.

There is no jumping into “desire to receive for the sake of sharing”, which selfless, charitable, do gooders try to do.

Being charitable, giving, do-gooding, selfless is NOT desire to receive for the sake of sharing, it is just more “desire to receive for the self alone.”

Bummer, eh?

As I am sitting here pondering one of my favorite students’ Reclaim share where she is proudly telling me that her husband walked in during the webinar, evidently hungry, she could courageously ignore him and not be interrupted.

My, my…

You may not hear anything: I hear “nasty piece of work”, or simply: “desire to receive for the self alone.”
Continue reading “Want to become a nice person? Here is a clue that you aren’t”

Myopic? Narrow Minded? Stop on the surface? I need two more comments!

Having a child is like causing your own immortality. Your genes live on in your child, and your ego really wants that child to be the best… better than you.

You want to live through your child, and you want it to be glorious, even if your actual life is… hm… shitty?

The child, by the way, considers this an unfair binding… and resents it, wiggles out of it… the child wants to be free, make her own mistakes… have a life that is hers alone.

That is the norm.
Continue reading “Myopic? Narrow Minded? Stop on the surface? I need two more comments!”

I am personally offended… How can they do this to me?

Man-Crying-offended

I am personally offended… How can they do it to me? How dare it rain on my wedding day? How dare my husband lie to me? How dare my son pee in his bed?

What drives this thought process? Is it personal pride? Wrongful Pride? Ego? Self-importance? What is it?

If Ego is not what we were told it was, then where does “personally offended” come from?

I am sitting at my computer. It’s a beautiful day, Saturday. Suddenly a I hear a car horn urging someone to do something. Then again.

I feel the corners of my mouth curve down: I am personally offended. They are honking and it bothers me. They don’t behave the way they should: shut the f… up. Respect my peace and quiet.

Yesterday a plumber did some work in the downstairs apartment. He didn’t air out the pipes and it broke the my water filter when the air and water came rushing out in bursts instead of steadily flowing water, the way it SHOULD BE.

Personally offended.
Continue reading “I am personally offended… How can they do this to me?”

Is life all it’s cracked up to be? it is not fair!

If I asked you to observe your face without changing it first and without going to the mirror, could you do it?

One of the most useful things I have ever read, that if you use specific muscles in your face to produce a micro-expression, your emotions will follow. Continue reading “Is life all it’s cracked up to be? it is not fair!”