Become all you can become by raising yourself higher on the Tree of Life

My life in Film Noir, Fritz Lang’s M, Tongue in The Shoes

Originally posted 2009-01-09 11:30:07.

I had a conversation with Zsuzsa, a friend of mine from architecture school.

I normally hide from her, because she is traditionally areal downer. But last instant messaging we had she sounded upbeat, so I thought, I’d give it a try. I know how to break off a conversation when it goes south.

As fate has it, she broke her hand a few months ago, it didn’t heal well, and she has had a lot of pain. Interestingly it has changed her. Permanently or temporarily, I don’t know. My hunch is that it is temporary…

Anyway, I shared with her my experience with the nose bleed. She didn’t quite grasp it at first. She has had nose bleeds but her first thought wasn’t: this is the beginning of the end, so for her the chance of a breakthrough with that would have been small.

On the other hand, given that she is an architect, her right hand is her bread and butter, so creating a new way to look at it was a definite breakthrough for her.

I was mulling over this today as I was washing my hands in the bathroom.

“You need to trust the whisper inside your head that says that what’s happening is a good thing.” I thought, but then I cringed. Some 58 years ago I thought just that and where did it lead me?!
Continue reading “My life in Film Noir, Fritz Lang’s M, Tongue in The Shoes”

What is Kabbalah and Why Should You Care?

Originally posted 2008-08-02 11:30:07.

Imagine that you got yourself a car without a user’s manual. Or a computer. And there would be no person that you know that even knows what they are about… these items would rust, collect dust, be in the way… instead of giving you the power to quickly get from one place to the other, or to solve seemingly impossible problems, communicate to millions with your computer.

This is exactly the situation with regards to life on Earth, with regards to human beings.

Billions of people wonder, daily, why they are here, and what they are supposed to do. Are you one of them? I sure am and have been.

Billions of people wonder why life isn’t working the way it is supposed to work… because somehow we KNOW that life is supposed to be satisfying, joyous, and full of light and love and pleasure.

What if there were a User’s Manual, and it were being “translated” little by little, so every human being that is interested in “riding the horse in the direction it’s going” could figure out which direction the horse is going. Because with life it is not that easy: even though the smell (life stinks) gives us clues… but life is ultimately more complicated that riding a horse. Continue reading “What is Kabbalah and Why Should You Care?”

Epigenetics… the path of human evolution or devolution

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How I use the energy that I download during the Days of Power

After I moved out of my parents’ home into my own place, I met this guy who became my boy friend. My very first boy friend.

He was a philosophy student, son of a well known philosopher.

I didn’t understand a word they were speaking. When I typed up his thesis I bastardized some of the words, because I had no idea they weren’t typos. They didn’t look like regular words.

Here I am 53 years later. If you asked me what profession I have, I would say that I am closest to being a philosopher. Boggles the mind. Doesn’t it? lol Continue reading “Epigenetics… the path of human evolution or devolution”

Equality, racist, collusion, big words you throw around

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The other day I used the free community van to get to stores I cannot get to easily on my own.

Note: in the illustrations I am not taking sides. I am illustrating that there is confusion and disagreement in what race. what is racist. what is racism, and what it does is it makes people rigid, lie about what they think, and vote for Trump… ugh.

The driver of the van has a PhD in sociology He asked me if it bothered me if he continued to listen to NPR radio, National Public Radio. There was a public debate on Trump and on the question whether he was a racist or not. Continue reading “Equality, racist, collusion, big words you throw around”

The empath’s guide to: How to not feel alone, isolated, abandoned, not belonging…

You look around. Everyone seems to have it better than you. They laugh, they hug, they walk hand in hand, kiss… or have friends who like them… but you? If feels like you have no one, no one cares about you, no one responds well to you… You are not getting enough “strokes”… from others.

A “stroke” (in Transactional Analysis) is a unit of social transaction. A hug. A nod. A smile. A hello, a thank you, a “how are you?”, or an f… you…. these are all social transactions. The more strokes you get the less your spine will shrivel up on you…

Continue reading “The empath’s guide to: How to not feel alone, isolated, abandoned, not belonging…”

Everything you ever wanted is available to you, if…

… if you are willing to look and see what is so about you and your life.

The truth. Naked. Ugly. Often shameful.

Here is a correspondence I had with a client today:

She said: “I’m interested in changing my context since it’s part of what keeps me stuck.”

“… answering the questions: what am I doing? Why am I doing it?

Unless you have done the work of identifying what you have been doing, and why you have been doing it, no way you can shift the context. You cannot catch what you can’t see. And you cannot change what you can’t catch.” Continue reading “Everything you ever wanted is available to you, if…”

No time to do good stuff, let alone great stuff?

Fighting windmills? No time to do good stuff, let alone great stuff?

I just learned something terrible about myself. A lot of people hear me as if I were their father.

You see, in my family I was the dunce… meaning stupid. And even though I had straight A grades, and I was good at everything I tried, I remained stupid to my family. Continue reading “No time to do good stuff, let alone great stuff?”

Can you connect to Source through imagining connecting?

I did the first session of the Muscletesting course, version 2 yesterday.

There was a lot of things to unlearn and relearn for the students, things can and do prevent one from being effective in life.

Tons of the memes, everything and its opposite, no clarity.

What is Source. Where is the knowledge coming from when we muscletest for the truth? Is truth stagnant, the same today as it was yesterday? Does anything remain the same as it was yesterday?

The most successful people on earth know that only physical laws, the laws of physics apply here, and you can deal with the rest as appearances. A mirage. Maya. Not solid.

That nothing happens until someone does something… The law of cause and effect. Continue reading “Can you connect to Source through imagining connecting?”

How to access the invisible so you can have more power in your life?

It’s Saturday. The only reason I know it is Saturday because tomorrow I’ll have the first session of Version 2 of the muscletesting course.

And I am afraid. Normal. Anything new, anything threatening with unexpected unknowns creates fear. Normal.

So I stayed in semi-sleep mode an hour longer than my normal getup time… Looking.

I looked at all the relevant invisible elements of my life, to see where I can influence this fear… and how. Not that fear is bad… but I prefer life with less fear. Continue reading “How to access the invisible so you can have more power in your life?”

How do I tame my fear of the unknown, the difficult?

How do I tame my fear of the unknown, the difficult, the tasks I need to do that I am ill-suited to do?

One day I’ll have an editor. Or maybe a brilliant assistant. Someone who is good at things I am lousy at.

I have major holes in my brain. It started with my brain development in the womb. I am on the autistic spectrum, an experiment of sorts. Then I had my two massive brain injuries… One in 1969 and one in 1998.

So I was never good at putting things to order. Time order… what needs to get done first and what needs to get done next. Even just thinking about that, the brain cells that would do that work start to hurt. So maybe I should exercise them… hm… that is an idea. Continue reading “How do I tame my fear of the unknown, the difficult?”