The skill to develop if you want to live a life you love

The skill to develop if you want to live a life you love

We live as if things never changed. Even though we hear, read, that the only thing that is constant in life is change.

And yet, our minds, the machine-like part of us that cannot learn, won’t learn, and fancies itself YOU… our minds tell us, moment to moment, that life will remain the way it is in that moment.

Is that crazy or what?

  • When something bad happens, the reaction is not to the bad thing, but to the idea that the results of the bad thing are life-long.
  • When something good happens, the reaction is not to the good thing. It is to the idea, to the notion, to the certainty, that the good thing will last a lifetime.
  • When you are well… you are sure you’ll be always well. When you feel sick, you are sure that unless you fix it, you’ll never feel good again. Gloom and doom, or yippee… all is wonderful. The roller coaster, I call it.

So in light of this behavior of the mind: what is the most important skill? Continue reading “The skill to develop if you want to live a life you love”

Becoming like god where you create with your word.

Becoming like god where you create with your word.

With regards to the title… I am not suggesting that you become like Jesus… but become like the Creator, who supposedly said: there shall be light… or whatever he said… This Creator created with his word. That is the god I mean…

The main difference between a human and a human being, the next level of human evolution, is an inner difference. Not biological, physical, physiological. Instead a difference in what tells the one and the other to do things, what attitude to have, how to do things.

Humans listen to memes, the voices. Voices that are not the human’s friends, voices that have no rhyme and reason, voices that make the human misbehave, and take actions that on the long run make him miserable.

Humans say things, but they don’t stick. They violate their own word, human word is cheap. Why? Because a random voice comes around and overwrite it. That’s why. Continue reading “Becoming like god where you create with your word.”

The invisible field that defines your consciousness

The invisible field that defines your consciousness

We look at life through the space we locate ourselves in.

When you go home for the holidays, you have a space inside which you interact with your mother. You have a space inside which you interact with your father, another space with your siblings.

Some people live their whole life out of one favorite space.

When you know what space you think you are in, and the other person makes no sense, that is because they relate to you inside a different space.

For example, Nancy lives inside Mother-child space. She is either the mother, or she is the child. When she is the child, I am either the mother (she loves that) or Not mother… she hates that. When she is the mother and I refuse to be the child, she throws a tantrum.

This is invisible for her. It’s the water she swims in.
Continue reading “The invisible field that defines your consciousness”

You can’t become extraordinary if you live an ordinary life

You can’t become extraordinary if you live an ordinary life

I am getting a lot of requests to teach people how to become people who live a life worth living, who excel in all four areas, all four pillars of the good life.

My answer is almost always: Sorry I can’t help you.

But why?

Today I got lucky and got my answer in a pristine form.

My University classmate, Panni called me. We talk once a month. She is, of course an architect: we were classmates in architecture school, a five year study.

And she is a mother and a grandmother. Continue reading “You can’t become extraordinary if you live an ordinary life”

Everything you ever wanted is available to you, if…

Everything you ever wanted is available to you, if…

Everything you ever wanted is available to you, if…

… if you are willing to look and see what is so about you and your life.

The truth. Naked. Ugly. Often shameful.

Here is a correspondence I had with a client today:

She said: “I’m interested in changing my context since it’s part of what keeps me stuck.”

“… answering the questions: what am I doing? Why am I doing it?

Unless you have done the work of identifying what you have been doing, and why you have been doing it, no way you can shift the context. You cannot catch what you can’t see. And you cannot change what you can’t catch.” Continue reading “Everything you ever wanted is available to you, if…”

Scarcity, abundance… big words… again. What are they, and how can you get into abundance?

Both are context words. Neither talks about the stuff that is inside the context… inside the wrapper. The wrapper tells you how to look at the content.

It has nothing to do with the stuff, or the quantity of it. It can be great, it can be plenty… the context, scarcity or abundance will tell you what to feel, what to think, what to do.

Why? Because context is decisive.

You can have plenty inside the context of scarcity, and feel that you don’t have enough. Enough time, enough stuff, enough happiness, enough whatever… Continue reading “Scarcity, abundance… big words… again. What are they, and how can you get into abundance?”

What is a seeming? And why is it helpful to know?

What is a seeming? And why is it helpful to know?
One type of meme that you honor as the truth is called a seeming.

If you say: It is that way… you describe ‘reality’.

But if you change the saying: ‘It seems to me that…‘ then it turns into a seeming. And makes the world malleable… not as rigid as it was thus far.

Why turn something into a seeming? Continue reading “What is a seeming? And why is it helpful to know?”

Should you become a client? Would I even accept you as a client?

For decades one of my sore spots was that people refused to serve me, even though I paid them.

I remember saying to myself: my money is not good enough for you? and wept.

I had no idea how I “accomplished” that… in 20/20 hindsight it is still a little spotty.

What wasn’t clear to me, never even occurred to me, how my attitude effected the service provider. My “To what degree you think of yourself:” starting point measure was, at the time, 70%. From my behavior I would have guessed it was higher.

Mainly I overrode what they said. I argued, I knew better, I acted with contempt…

What I didn’t know then is that being a service provider needs to be a win, or no service.

A customer who is not happy is a drag on an provider, and not worth the little (or even a lot of) money they pay.

I was that kind of customer…
Continue reading “Should you become a client? Would I even accept you as a client?”

How to get your brain to read?

How to Get Your Mind to Read 1article by Daniel T. Willingham (@DTWillingham) is a professor of psychology at the University of Virginia and the author, most recently, of “The Reading Mind: A Cognitive Approach to Understanding How the Mind Reads.” Republished from the New York Times Continue reading “How to get your brain to read?”

Vocabulary and it’s connection to conscious awareness

Vocabulary and it’s connection to conscious awareness

We throw about big words, and we pretend that we know them. Even ‘scientists’ only pretend. If they didn’t, they would be explaining, clarifying the words, but they don’t.

In the Starting Point Measurements the vocabulary number is what indicates this. I originally intended to call this clarity, but then I decided that if it refers to words, then maybe it can be instructive.

It hasn’t been.

So this article will be, mostly, about words. Continue reading “Vocabulary and it’s connection to conscious awareness”