Become all you can become by raising yourself higher on the Tree of Life

The reason 999,999 out of a million are underachievers

Happy Gilmore is one of my favorite movies.

In it a hockey player, Adam Sandler, has a vision of earning enough money to save his grandmother’s house from foreclosure… in a, to him totally unfamiliar sport: championship golf.

In 50 First Dates he has a vision of creating a relationship with the Drew Barrymore character, who forgets everything when she sleeps… She develops methods to remind her… and they succeed.

When I ask you what is your vision: you have none. Continue reading “The reason 999,999 out of a million are underachievers”

The 3 great mysteries: air to a bird, water to a fish…

The three great mysteries: air to a bird, water to a fish, mankind to itself.

But how do you look beyond yourself when you’re so… you? How does the fish recognize water when it’s all it has ever known? How does it even learn to question: the great invisible breath of life?

I have no answers, but maybe like the bird diving from the tree’s edge for the first time, we have to return to something similar to our youths to find ourselves. To find the answers to the mystery that is us maybe we have to go back and visit a time when we never were so sure, a time when we were not so certain in ourselves. A rebirth of sorts.

All power comes from the invisible reality. The hard to see, the hard to pinpoint, the hard to communicate to others, reality.

My whole work, my life’s work is to dig out what is invisible with the eyes, what is difficult to sense with your other sensory organs.

I have trained myself to become as close to laser sharp as possible. I read books for that purpose, for the vocabulary. For the context. For how others think, feel, choose. Continue reading “The 3 great mysteries: air to a bird, water to a fish…”

You don’t have to change yourself… nothing wrong with you

The conclusion I came up with in yesterday’s article: you don’t have to change, so you can rest in peace about that. But if you look at the memes, the memes say: nothing wrong with the: something is wrong with the world. And that is a worldview that the memes disseminate…

There must be something wrong, because I don’t fit in, I am not loved, I am not doing what I should be doing, I am not succeeding.

And yet…

There is nothing wrong with you… You don’t have to change. You are enough…

But being enough doesn’t mean your actions, your attitudes are a match to reality…

If you want a different life: you don’t need to change: your worldview has to change.

In a wheat field, a rose is a weed—even if that rose is voluptuous and vibrant. Translation: it’s your sacred duty to identify the contexts in which you can thrive and then put yourself in those contexts.

Continue reading “You don’t have to change yourself… nothing wrong with you”

Your worldview keeps you in a merry go round.

Not many understand what worldview is… I can give you examples, but a thousand examples will not distinguish the thing… For example if I tell you that being entitled is a worldview, now do you know what a worldview is?

It is a difficult thing to explain… and thus this article was a difficult birth.

It took me two whole days, and it was not enjoyable. I could not do any other work either. The inability to get the expression was rendering me dead, or dead-ish…

I like writing articles. But certain things are difficult to say, difficult to express… Continue reading “Your worldview keeps you in a merry go round.”

Always misjudged, misunderstood? No one sees your genius?

Are you always misjudged, misunderstood, or mistreated? No one can see how bright you are?

The art of being heard, being known the right way

On one of the webinars the topic was “Not being heard… Being misunderstood”

Every person on the call had at least one painful childhood incident where their speaking wasn’t getting for them what they intended to get, instead their speaking was earning them grief and heart ache.

They wanted appreciation, understanding, equality, or love, validation, significance, or at least agreement.

When something doesn’t work, one would expect, next time you’ll try something different. But no… in real life it seems that the more something doesn’t work, the more you, humans are trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

When we looked, each and every one of us were repeating and repeating and repeating the incident in our lives, the same way, expecting a different result. Insanity, right? Continue reading “Always misjudged, misunderstood? No one sees your genius?”

When you argue for your limitations and ‘win’ the argument

When you blame other people… When bad things always happen to you… When you won’t be happy unless… When winning is the goal…

Why is it that some people consistently choose being right… when the question is being right or being happy?

The underlying dynamic is invisible to the naked eye. It is like an iceberg: only tiny bit of it is showing, and the bulk of the iceberg is under the water level, waiting for your life to kill it… like an iceberg sunk the mighty Titanic.

The visible part is almost always presenting you as the good guy. Nice guy. Hurt, angry, taken advantage of, innocent like a freshly born lamb. Harmless. Continue reading “When you argue for your limitations and ‘win’ the argument”

Do your solutions tend to become the next big problem?

I get emails wanting solutions to the writer’s problems. Problems that are part of a system… but the writers, and I bet you! hope the problem can be eliminated by a simple advice in an email or an article.

No one gets the iceberg metaphor, even though I explain it over and over again.

Why don’t you get it? Because what is not visible is not visible… And to see what is yet invisible to you, you need to learn to recognize it… But no sane person would want to waste time learning something that isn’t… how do you know there is an invisible? Because I said it?

It’s a Catch 22. It feels that you can’t win. Continue reading “Do your solutions tend to become the next big problem?”

When life looks hopeless, too hard, unmanageable…

What do you do, where do you go, when life seems to tell you that you are not enough? When you feel you are pushed into overwhelm ¹

When your precious I gets threatened?

When you get a glimpse that you are, in fact, not the knight in shining armor…

I think I am becoming more empathic. I think I am becoming more sensitive to your unhappiness. Maybe even more compassionate?

Compassion is seeing where you are at, seeing that I’ve been there before, and offering a helping hand to help you get through it. ²

This is not how you had it, am I right?

Anyway, back to topic… what do you do when you find that you are not enough, you are not a match to life? Continue reading “When life looks hopeless, too hard, unmanageable…”

Are you authoring your life, or is life happening to you?

Even though I have completed my 20-day learning challenge, I am still listening to Dr Popper’s videos.

In one of these videos he says something very important, that i really managed to connect to some of my own experiences only on the third hearing.

Here is what he says:

The speed of life robs us of our ability to fully experience, to fully feel. Continue reading “Are you authoring your life, or is life happening to you?”

The risk of living a life without a purpose… no direction

A purpose is not automatic… or if anything can be called automatic, it is always bad… or inappropriate

We, humanity, are more attuned to danger, bad feelings, than we are to good feelings… And it is natural, given our size and defenselessness in the natural world.

In order to get anything done, you cannot rely on your natural inclination, it won’t be helpful. Your natural inclination is to do nothing much, reserve your energies, unless you are hungry, you are horny, or you are in danger. Continue reading “The risk of living a life without a purpose… no direction”