Become all you can become by raising yourself higher on the Tree of Life

If I see you as beautiful… will you too?

If I see you as beautiful… will you see yourself as beautiful?
If I see you as magnificent, great, awesome… will you see yourself like I do?

Muscletest and my experience says: no.

The most beautiful women spend hours in front of the mirror staring at their imperfections… trying to hide them.

There are also beautiful women who can say: so what. They are in search of some other imperfection.

We know ourselves intimately, and rare is the person who can leave it alone… who can refrain bemoaning their faults, and stop trying to fix themselves while keeping up appearances.
Continue reading “If I see you as beautiful… will you too?”

Why is this happening to me? Why? Oh Why?

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Why is this happening to me? add the whiny voice… and you can hear that this is not a useful question.

On the other hand, when you can answer that question (without asking it first), it has the same effect as a light switch flicked in a dark room.

So, how do you get to the answer without first asking that whiny question?
Continue reading “Why is this happening to me? Why? Oh Why?”

Reframing: What do you consider your higher power?

Frame: Your higher power? ¹

Back in 1988 I had an emotional meltdown. I suddenly remembered things from my childhood.

I was suggested by someone in Landmark Education that it would be beneficial for me to join an ACOA group. Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families.

I did. I had clear signals that I belonged. #1 of the identifying features of ACOA people is “I don’t know who I am”. ²

Anyway, an ACOA group is not a fun place. Continue reading “Reframing: What do you consider your higher power?”

The seven habits of highly unsuccessful people

I wrote this article in 2016. Nothing much has changed… I got older…

As you know it is the 50th anniversary of my high school graduation.

I had a bunch of extraordinary folks as classmates: they have been meeting every year for the past ten years… and this year they decided to redo the yearbook, which is not a book in Hungary: it is a big board with everyone’s picture and their names. Continue reading “The seven habits of highly unsuccessful people”

Do you allow yourself to be sad? On the first spring day?

I was feeling blue today. I opened the windows, and the noise from the outside was deafening… compared to the silence I have enjoyed all winter. I got a headache, I started to think of moving to someplace where it’s quiet… no grass mowers, no road repair, no people.

I felt the sadness. Grieving. My mind was digging up stories of sadness. One of my favorite book characters is sad, and is attracted to sad women… Henry Bosch.

Especially around a character, Cassie Black who later re-appears as Lena, if I remember correctly. Sad. Loss. Aloneness.
Continue reading “Do you allow yourself to be sad? On the first spring day?”

How did you get to be the way you are? Unhappy,

How did you get to be the way you are? Unhappy, low vibration, self-conscious, depressed, fearful? How The Dark Side rules you?

The following is an excerpt from the novel, The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand. It is an apt description of how evil takes over the world.

It’s long, but please read it. Read it a few times, so you can identify yourself and the ideology that got you to be miserable, empty, merely surviving. Pay special attention on how guilt plays a role in that.

Enjoy. Continue reading “How did you get to be the way you are? Unhappy,”

what is love? how do you go about getting it? what is it buying you?

What is love?

When we are babies: love is attention. We can’t do anything for ourselves, and someone paying attention to us equals love to us. Our comfort, our survival depends on it.

We each “earned” the attention in different ways, and then settled on one or two ways that worked the best.

We cried for the bottle in a whiny way, suggesting to our caretaker that we are dying. Pleading, begging, modulating our cry until we got a response.

We cried for the bottle with anger, anguish, or threat. We cried to get a clean diaper. We cried to be picked up.

We also manipulated our caretakers by smiles, by reaching out to them, grabbing their fingers, maybe laugh, little manipulative signs that made them feel good, liked, maybe even loved.

Just like pets learn to push your buttons: it is all self-serving, to make us get attention and food, shelter, and petting.
Continue reading “what is love? how do you go about getting it? what is it buying you?”