Do you ever use that one, “No matter what I do…”?
I caught myself saying that today. It was regarding eating. I used to have it in every area of my life, but it seems that the Harmonize audio has zapped that excuse almost completely out of use.
The “No matter what I do…” is not for public consumption, very rarely, if ever, I hear it from a student. I feel it, and I identify it… the answer is always a chuckle.
The feeling is a tight belt or rope from underarm to underarm. Painful, restricting, completely blocking your movement forward. Self-imposed, unreal, much more effective than anything real that you need to face.
The behavior: no action. Not even an attempt. It is used as a jolly joker in card games: it replaces any action with the statement. If you can say: “No matter what I do…” plus no action: for you it is as good as have acted and failed.
The chuckle is irrepressible, it is like a micro-expression, it happened before you are conscious that it’s coming. Then it disappears as fast as it came, and you are back again in the seriousness of your victimhood.
Continue reading “No matter what I do… A great self-deception”
