Bits and pieces… The Myth of Because… You are the one you are waiting for

smoke screen of angerI live in a two-family home. I live upstairs. When I first moved here, I lived in the downstairs apartment. The house is old, and you can hear when someone walks upstairs.

The rent is very high: I guess we pay for the location: it is a very nice dead end street with a wonderful view of the sunset and Syracuse University.

I am noticing that every time I go from my office to the front of my apartment there is a wave of resentment, anger, from the downstairs apartment.

I sit down and feel it. It feels bad. The energy is the energy of blaming, pointing a finger, justifying.

Justifying? Yes.

She, the girl downstairs, is angry. Why? Who knows? She is angry and she needs to direct her anger.
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What is the most important thing in life?

What is the most important thing in life?

The culture we live in, the mind-meme that is the dominant influencer of our emotions, our actions, our decisions in life says: the most important thing in life is fitting in, taking care of your loved ones, to be loved, to belong.

Sounds so nice, doesn’t it? Sounds like that is what will cause our species to survive, that is what is going to cause us to be happy.

Let’s examine if it, in fact, contributes to happiness, and to the survival of the species… i.e. if it contributes to personal growth, personal evolution, because any species that its members don’t grow or can’t grow is declining and dying.
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A coach’s job is to make you do things you don’t want to do

coachingA discussion with hidden argumentative undertones is going on in the comments of some posts.

It’s about coaching.

Most people want gentle guidance. They want the results, but they want it all to be easy, nice, a walk in the park. They can’t find this anywhere, so they sign up to my coaching calls, but they don’t like what they are getting. They wanted gentle guidance, but they get coaching.

A coach’s job is to make you do what you don’t want to do so you can have what you won’t have if you do what you want to do.

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Are you arrogant? Oh, no, not you? How dare I say that?

Are you arrogant? Oh, no, not you? How dare I say that?

3-year-old-boyYesterday I had a coaching call. One of the students was talking about her difficulty of getting to sleep and then starting her day.

I checked her vibration and it was 130, slightly under her usual vibration of 150. As usual, she was scared of what may get revealed in our interaction about her. Rightfully so…

What got revealed that she scans the articles on my site, and at such low vibration you are also low on intelligence, low on comprehension, low on patience.
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12 steps toward becoming truly who you are: the Playground program

12-step programThe Playground program: the history

Back in 1988 when I first created the Playground: It is never too late to have a happy childhood, I’d just come out from participating in a 12-step program, similar to AA, but for people who suffered from the behavior of the alcoholic.

It turns out, that a troubled household with troubled parents creates the same symptoms as one with an alcoholic parent: a lack of safety. My parents weren’t alcoholic, but their behavior was erratic. One day I was beaten up for a behavior, the next it was ignored… Nerve wrecking. There was nothing I could count on to be quasi permanent and reliable. It’s a miracle that I didn’t withdraw into schizophrenia.

What’s good about 12-step programs?

Anyway, I liked the environment of a 12-step meeting: the meeting had principles, but it had no coaching, no rebuttal, no arguments, it was a very adult and equals program, as opposed to any other place in the world.
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Updated: Higher Vibration and The Illusion of Dark Side

Updated: Higher Vibration and The Illusion of Dark Side

dark side illusion Questions about dark side and dark energies are coming up a lot nowadays.

My approach to dark side

,

… is Kabbalistic because Kabbalah’s approach to this issue is more useful for someone who wants to understand the issue or Dark Side.

You see, “where attention goes energy flows.” And that attention actually creates or strengthens that which it energizes, even if it wasn’t there before. Especially when you say you don’t want it. Resistance to something is like pouring oil on the fire… makes it bigger. Like “I have no time”, like : I am confused,” like “nobody likes me.” creates exactly what it complains about. Or “I am NOT stupid” or “I don’t want to feel this” or telling fear to go away, and the thousand and one way you can resist something. Even ignoring something is resistance to it.

In a recent Landmark Education seminar I learned that the poison that human beings swallowed wholly and greedily is “there is something wrong here,” the foundation of human misery, the dark side: Right and Wrong… behaving as if there were a right way and this isn’t it.

It seems that you never stop for a second to ask the questions that could create choice:

Possible question to create choice #1:
You ask: Hm, Something wrong here? Says who? Then answer: _I_ say so (the same person who asked the question). Next: ask: who assigned me to be the judge? Do I know how it is supposed to be? Do I see the whole picture? — And if you are anyone other than God, the answer is that you can’t see the whole picture, and therefore you don’t know if it is really wrong what’s happening… so you can see that you can’t tell wrong from right… Not knowing is a much higher state than being sure.

Possible question #2: Who or what wins if I choose to say “there is something wrong here.”
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The “Empath” Gravy Train

Can-Empathy-Be-Learned-One-To-Consider-For-Staff-TrainingFirst off: what is an empath, what is empathy?

Empathy is innate to humans… it gets killed, mostly, in childhood… but it is still there, dormant. Empathy, like caring, seems to be a threat to most humans, it seems that to care, or feel another’s pain robs you of your power to take care of yourself first. It is a DS suggestion, it’s not true. Even feeling caring or empathy, the choice of action is yours…

An empath is someone who can direct their attention and feel someone’s feeling, physical or emotional, accurately, at will. It is rare, and most empaths are unconscious, unaware that they are feeling someone else’s feelings. I don’t know any other conscious and highly evolved empaths, and muscletest says there isn’t any other alive at this point in time, it’s just me.
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Some people drive me crazy. Can you recognize yourself?

Some people drive me crazy. Can you recognize yourself?

It seems that what they do is so intolerable for me, that I can barely contain myself. The desire to just smack them is so strong, I have to physically restrain myself.

What do they do that I can’t tolerate?

They deflect.

Their deflection has several forms: Denial-Deflection-Discredit.

    • one says: “touché” whenever I call her on her “s-h-i-t”
    • another one listens to what I am saying, but he smirks, so I know that he is only humoring me.
    • the third says, every time I ask if she got what I am saying: “I am listening”

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Want to be happy? here are the steps

Want to be happy? here are the steps

Happiness is a function of accepting what is. Life is like this weird rose… doesn’t look the way it should… orderly, smooth, safe, winning, beautiful, etc… Hard to accept, hard to even tolerate… Right?

What is accepting what is?

Accepting is saying yes to. You could also say: when you are accepting something, you give it permission to be exactly the way it is, and not be what it isn’t.

There is no “it should be different”, and there is no “it should not be” or “should not be the way it is.”
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I don’t have time to think… it is easier and faster to just accept what others say

you_don_t_have_enough_time_to_pay_attentionYou complain that you don’t have time, but you are lying. I am not saying you mean to lie, but you are lying nevertheless. You think if you had more time, you would do your work, but the truth about you is that you would fill that extra time with meaningless busy-ness, just like you are doing with what you already have.

If I observed you for a day, I would find that

  • you do a lot of things that you don’t need to do, that contribute nothing of significance to your life, or
  • you do things that take a lot of time to bring any return on your time investment or
  • you do things slowly, with no energy, half-assed, belligerently, ineffectively or bored, never considering doing them better, faster, well

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