Become all you can become by raising yourself higher on the Tree of Life

The path to beauty, goodness, and truth is through…

The path to beauty, goodness, and truth is through the ugly, the bad, maybe even the horrible, not around them

We all bow to a deity, the god of respectability. Looking good, being well thought of, getting respect.

Even animals pretend, just watch your cat… their survival depends on looking good to you… so they pretend…

To be authentic

…to have no need to pretend, being willing to be seen, warts an all, is more human, it is in the direction of the evolution of the species.

While you give your life to respectability, your life sours, your dreams die, you stop knowing who you are, where you are, what YOU want, what YOU want to do with your life. You don’t know who you are.

Very unpleasant and troubling feeling.

Most are stuck there, but some (you?) yearn to know and live in harmony with who they are… love themselves, but how do you go about it?

Bad news: you can only get to your true self, to your inner beauty, your inner goodness, your inner truth through wading through the ugly, the nasty, and the mountain of lies about you.
Good news: What you need to wade through is only a certain amount of ugly… 30, 50, 70? Depends on you and how much you sold out on respectability, status, on looking good.

There is a finite amount of ugly, though it is still a small army…

…that unless you can face it, without running from it, without judging it, without trying to unsee it, it is going to stay and multiply. and keep you in the world of pretense, where who you are is not who you pretend to be.

Now, I know it is a mouthful, but

ultimately that is the work. Seeing all the ugly about yourself. And make peace with it.

The help I can give, is to give you pointers, give you beacons so you will see the ugly by their light. And, of course, the Unconditional Love Activator, will make it a lot easier…

One such beacon is when you feel an urge to explain or justify.

If you stop for a moment and look behind that urge to justify your actions, you’ll see ugly. You’ll see that either you don’t trust yourself, or you don’t trust the other person to like you after you did what you believe is the right thing while you knew it wasn’t.

Don’t just stop explaining or justifying… no value there. Look. See the ugly in you. Own it.

The ego is the part of you that wants to stay the same. It wants you to resist looking because if you saw it, you’d want to change.

The ego is the part of you that you’ve been quietly and secretly in cahoots with… but, unfortunately, it is also the ego that could give you strength to accomplish.

But you limit what the ego can do for you by having more and more to hide, more and more falsehood to prove every day.

You look at every program with suspicion. Will this want me to change? Will this want me to look at what I have been hiding?

You say you want to change, you say you want a great life, but you are lying.

You can’t have the rose without the thorns, you can’t have night without day… Life has a certain order to it, but you want, with all your might, to go around it.

You want respect without giving respect, you want love without giving love, you want something for nothing, you want beauty without the ugly.

You invent religions, you invent gods, afterlife, karma, just to avoid having to face the truth about you.

You rearrange the furniture, do feng shui, invite a shaman in your home to get rid of evil spirit… but you go back, and there it is again: evil spirit. In you… The ugly that you have been hiding.

Everyone has ugliness inside, by the way. It is not just you.

Beacon #2:

You can see the ugly in others that means you are good or at least better. Nice. High minded.

Exactly the opposite is true.

All the nasty stuff you see in others is something you recognize because you have it.

They hold up a mirror for you to see it. But you run, but you hide, but you blame, smear, get angry.

You miss the lesson.

I am not saying it’s pleasant. But it is possible to bring a sober eye to the things you see and say: Hm… I see that. Hm, that’s ugly. or nasty. However you express yourself. Sober. Matter of fact. Flat.

To the degree you can own the ugliness, to the same degree it loses its hold on you.

Whatever you allow to be, allows you to be.

Beacon 3: Apologizing

Husband cheated on you? Notice the nastiness that comes up… it is choking you. Notice that you want to be nice… then the nastiness comes out… and you apologize.

Don’t apologize. Actually have it a goal to never have a reason to apologize.

If it comes out… then instead of pushing it back, and feeling shame, fear, rejoice. You got a chance to see the poison you carry around. And own it as yours.

Sit down and watch it simmer. Accept it for what it is. Embrace it. Do NOT justify, do NOT explain, just allow.

The longer you can watch it the less power it will have… Half done work (looking away, justifying) will bite your ass.

The beautiful you is behind the ugliness… it is not next to it, not in front of it, it is behind it.

As long as you have the ugly, all beautiful is a pretense… ugh, that hurts, right?

Now get to work. And let me know if and when you are ready for the Playground. Or Reclaim. Or both…

Oh, and don’t forget to stock up on the Unconditional Love Activator. You’ll need it.

Announcing: “My secret weapon” webinar

Now that a bunch of you have bought my Secret Weapon, the Big Bundle of energies ¹ The purpose of this article is to announce the WEBINAR I am forced to do to let you feel the energy and teach you to use it correctly.

So, announcing the Big Bundle webinar.
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Osho on money and happiness

If you ask anyone, they all want to be happy. But happiness eludes people, the more you want it the further it goes. In this talk, Osho addresses the issue. He approaches it from many different angles, blaming it on your parents, blaming it on society, and then finally he gives you a glimpse of what seems to be in the way, the secret… A must read.

Read the article on my Osho blog

What is my vibration? How to tell without muscletesting

or The unexamined life is not worth living

In this article I will give you a few pointers for an examined life… because an examined life is a high vibration life.

Your vibration cannot be higher than the vibration of your life.

Let’s start with three exercises: I have done them myself this morning… As you will see, these exercises will successfully start you on the path of raising the vibration of your life… to an examined life
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Are you good? Are you bad?

Our last Playground, earlier today, was on the topic of “good/bad.”

It’s a great topic. Why? Because you are limited by that, good and bad, more than most any other adjective: you want to be good, you need to be good, you pretend to be good, you fancy yourself as a good person, you sell your soul to be thought of as good. God will let you into heaven if you are good… you go to hell if you are bad… blah, blah, blah. Lots of greed, lots of suffering around good and bad.

As a foreigner I watch it with fascination. Good and bad is worn like a uniform, covering up a ton of anxiety.
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Pick your battles…

Pick your battles… have an organizing principle

A good 20 years ago I had lunch with a famous seminar leader from Landmark Education. We had a long history, and she shared with me how unhappy she was, and how ready she was to quit leading seminars for Landmark Education.

I was quite dumbfounded… she was the best in the country, the most effective…

She said: “We teach people to be more effective, and many use the technology to be more effectively dupe people, abuse people, exploit people, make the world a worse place than it would be if they were not equipped with what we teach them.”

I didn’t have an answer for her… but I was pondering that myself for the past 20 years.

And this morning I am as close to having an answer as ever…
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12 steps toward becoming truly who you are: the Playground program

The Playground program: the history

Back in 1988 when I first created the Playground: It is never too late to have a happy childhood, I’d just come out from participating in a 12-step program, similar to AA, but for people who suffered from the behavior of the alcoholic.

It turns out, that a troubled household with troubled parents creates the same symptoms as one with an alcoholic parent: a lack of safety. My parents weren’t alcoholic, but their behavior was erratic. One day I was beaten up for a behavior, the next it was ignored… Nerve wrecking. There was nothing I could count on to be quasi permanent and reliable. It’s a miracle that I didn’t withdraw into schizophrenia.

What’s good about 12-step programs?

Anyway, I liked the environment of a 12-step meeting: the meeting had principles, but it had no coaching, no rebuttal, no arguments, it was a very adult and equals program, as opposed to any other place in the world.
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You want to raise your vibration. You want to become an Expanding Human Being. You want abundance. You want fun, joy, and love.

Summary: this article started out to be short and sweet and, because it is so important, became really big. The most important things are said in the footnotes, so don’t miss them. The article reveals what it is you need and probably don’t have, will never have, to become an Expanding Human Being. But it is good to know, at least you will know what you can and what you can’t… and stop deluding yourself, and others.

To celebrate that amazon kicked me out, I am offering a 2 for 1 on all my remedies… until further notice. Go to the special site I made….

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Listening to the Unconditional Love Activator on the train

Be Happy again: Does, listening to the Unconditional Love Activator on the train, activate Unconditional Love?

Thank you Sophie
my usage after hearing the first 40 mins of the sleepy time audio yesterday night and today on the train: I felt very energized and also, my “need” and “desperation” of seeking validation or that clingy-ness to be liked is drastically reduced, it’s still there the approval syndrome, but i feel better about myself.
Best Regards
Kate

Hi Kate. your email teaches me that you don’t understand how activators work, so here is a little refresher:

There are five generations of activators. Out of those we still use three.
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Some Kabbalistic Wisdom From my KabbalahChick blog

Seeds of Agenda: What’s In It For You?
Rav Ashlag, founder of The Kabbalah Centre, said that ego-less sharing is almost impossible.

When a person wants to change and transform themselves, they will never do it unless they get something out of it.

The energy needed for the sharing and caring must come from their ego.

There is a paradox, no doubt. On one hand giving and sharing and caring sounds like it’s not selfish. On the other hand, without a selfish motive, no one will ever share. Mother Teresa, or anyone! But if the giving is selfish, the rewards are all ego-rewards, short term high, long term low…

But here is a move that will surprise you:

When you acknowledge your initial selfish motives, the rewards of your giving are longer lasting. But when you think you are doing it out of the goodness of your hearts, there will be a short-circuit at some point in the process.

So, how do you do it?
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