Become all you can become with Sophie
He that won't be counselled, can't be helped
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
What is the difference between people who grow and people who don’t?When you look at people’s core we see three ways the core behaves:
Depending on your core you’ll behave in life… So what determines what your core will be like? Continue reading “Flexible, floppy. and rigid… which one are you?”
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Oscar Wilde wrote, ‘…one has to choose between living one’s own life, fully, entirely, completely—or dragging out some false, shallow, degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands.‘ The world demands that you always try to be the smartest person in the room…
I saw something today that can be important to for you to learn, because I don’t think you know. It is against everything you have ever thought…
Because it comes from intelligence, not from smart.
Being the stupidest person in the room is the most intelligent move you can ever make… Continue reading “Why you want to be the stupidest person in the room”
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Why can’t you make things happen? Why can’t you make your life work…
You’ll hate me for this… but hate me as much as you want, this is why: Your integrity is shot.
Without integrity nothing works. Sounds very general, and definitely doesn’t seem to have anything to do with you: you are always on time, you brush your teeth twice a day, you keep your diet, you don’t cheat on your spouse… so what am I talking about?
I’ll explain it in a little bit, but let me just say something more:
Whenever ANYTHING doesn’t work about my life, about any of my relationship, about my health, about my work, about my money, I automatically go to my integrity.
I say: what is the integrity issue that I have that this is what I see… the area not working.
The out-of-integrity can be in many different ways, so I have a checklist: 1
Continue reading “Mastering your word to make things happen”
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
How to ‘earn’ a master’s degree in beingness? In attitude? In emotional intelligence?
A lot of people use famous quotes for guidance, and, if my observations are correct, those quotes increase your sense of inadequacy, your sense of doom about 90% of the time. And 10% of the time you don’t even need inspiring quotes, you are already inspired.
So, what do you do? You pretend how much you love it, how much difference it makes… while inside, the gap between your authentic self and the horizontal self is growing with every lie.
Continue reading “How to ‘earn’ a master’s degree in beingness?”
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
What does it mean feeling lost?
When you don’t feel at home in your body, when your feelings, your thoughts pull you out of yourself, you have a sense that you are, somehow, lost in the shuffle. That you don’t have any say in the matter of your life, what you feel, what you do, what you say…
You feel you are put on a roller coaster, and it wasn’t you who put you there…
How did it happen and what can you do about it? How can you find your way back home, to your own self? this is what this article is about.
Continue reading “Why you feel lost when you feel lost, find yourself…”
Want the good life? Use the Edge effect. Finding your niche where you can win. living life creatively
You want the good life… Creating the good life, health, wealth, love and happiness, will require creativity from you…
This is the biggest difference between the age of The American Dream and today… then some work was enough… today just work is not enough.
The opposite of creativity is timidness. And cowardice, and complacency, and holding your hand out, and hoping that other people will do it for you. Am I describing you?
Creativity is living at risk… Existential courage. Existential Courage
is the antidote to the comfortable coma.
The other day I stumbled across an ad for a workshop helping you to release your intuition. It used the standard approach to selling these sort of New Age ideas: quotes from Einstein and Steve Jobs on the importance of intuition, vague promises of revealing secrets known only to the most successful and powerful, and an invitation to “let your life be easier.”
It reminded me of a quote from Barbara Ehrenreich in Bright-sided, her critique of the positive thinking craze. She says
“positive thinking is not the same as existential courage.” This might be the most important distinction we can make these days. We are constantly bombarded with messages from advertisers trying to sell us on the idea that our lives should be comfortable and easy.
Eventually, we start to believe them. We start to see hard work as a sign of failure and discomfort as a psychological illness. Even our understanding of spirituality is being corrupted by misconceptions of enlightenment as some sort of personal accomplishment marked by perpetual bliss.
As a result, we have become unbalanced, individually and as a society. Sure, comfort and ease play a role in a life well-lived: we need Hedonic pleasure and moments of pure enjoyment. But focusing almost exclusively on this kind of comfort addiction leaves us with a sort of existential hangover and a void that’s impossible to fill – a void that advertisers promise to fill with anything they can sell you.
Existential courage is absolutely necessary if we are ever to find a way out of this addictive cycle.
The roots of the word courage actually come from the French coeur, or heart. It was believed that acts of valor and bravery could only be inspired by connecting to something larger than oneself. And here’s the twist, because that connection, rather than comforting, often confronts.
It highlights our fragility. It points out how small and insignificant we are. That thing that we connect to calls into question the ego-self and creates what Pema Chodron calls the vulnerable heart. It forces us to confront our own demons and ask if “I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear? ”
…at the core of existential courage – letting our vulnerability make us strong, letting our incompleteness make us whole, letting the impossibility of the task inspire action.
Gandhi said, that “what you can do is insignificant yet it is vitally important that you do it.” Acts of existential courage are rarely grandiose – grandiose is the ego’s idea of courage. Existential acts of courage are usually small, humble things – things that require practically no real effort beyond the courage to actually do them.
Source: https://medium.com/@emotusoperandi/existential-courage-7b25c9358764#.3igjzf2sn
You want to color inside the lines… and get the good life? No chance.Unless you are willing to shuffle and stir things up, you are among the dead, you are among those timid souls that never know defeat, but never know success either.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while DARING GREATLY so that his place shall never be with those timid souls who know neither victory or defeat. ~ Theodore Roosevelt
Why is that? Because coloring inside the lines, trying to be the best when playing by the prevailing rules, can only give you a life you didn’t choose, you didn’t design. All you can hope is that someone else will dig out the goodies for you… just like the Germans did in 1933, or half of the Americans when they elected Trump to office.
Why is it mandatory for you to be creative if you want the good life?
In a world with seven billion people, you cannot be successful at anything by coloring inside the lines. By being timid.
Tai talks about the edge effect.
If you are an absolute genius in your field, you can, maybe, do well.
But very few people are on the far right side of the bell curve, in any area.
You may be good at your job at your particular workplace, but across the board? You probably aren’t.
I don’t have any students who are in that 5% range of humanity. Those 5% are busy raking it in… lol.
The edge effect is finding or creating a field that is so unusual, so not part of the coloring within the lines culture, that you, with your meager resources: talent, awareness, determination, work-ethic, etc. may be able to make a life for yourself. A life that is better than the sum-total of the qualities you bring to it.
In my own life, I showed some talent in many areas: music, architecture, mathematics, writing, but didn’t belong to the five percent.
My father did, but I didn’t. And neither did my brothers.
As an architect I specialized in designing buildings for steep hills… It was my attempt to use the edge effect. Very few people dare to go there… it’s not an easy task, and there are not many steep hillsides that can be built.
In Landmark Education I specialized in coaching people who were still struggling with the remnants of incest: not a pleasant topic, and not an easy task to return these people to happiness.
I also specialized in coaching introduction leaders about their emotional blockages, their posture, their voice, etc. I could do it over the phone…
I had some edge effect.
In publishing I went to the edge of bringing education, compassion, a woman’s perspective to an area that is traditionally a man’s pleasure. Edge effect.
In personal development I am bringing the perspective of Tree of life v. Tree of Knowledge. I am bringing my finely honed ability of distinguishing, recognizing emotions, and my connection to Source.
Edge effect.
When someone asks me what I do for a living… I don’t have one answer. I have ten… When you work on the edge… there is no box that you fit in. That is what gives you the edge.
The word, the expression “edge effect” is a term in ecology: In ecology, edge effects refer to the changes in population or community structures that occur at the boundary of two habitats. Areas with small habitat fragments exhibit especially pronounced edge effects that may extend throughout the range. As the edge effects increase, the boundary habitat allows for greater biodiversity.
The edge is neither water, nor dry land. It is neither forest nor meadow. It is neither a desert nor an oasis… it is on the edge of those… having one foot in each.
You can translate biodiversity to this: more people can thrive there… even people with less than perfect knowledge and skills.
If you look at the bell curve, the number of people with less than perfect knowledge and skills is actually 97.5% of everyone… and although most everyone (68%) who was asked about their abilities, will say they are above average, most everyone is delusional about their own abilities.
Even being above average will not buy you the good life. Life actually doesn’t care about averages. Life rewards courage. Life rewards exceptional. Life rewards real creativity… Living on the edge.
Given that in capacities and abilities you can’t compete, you need to compete in the edge effect… be more and more creative in finding unexploited edge effects.
When a course is written, a program is sold, a push-button software hits the market on making it big, it is already mainstream… and you will not win with it, unless you excel in your capacities and your abilities.
Most of you have only two to five intangible capacities. The people who can make those programs work have ten to thirty…
You have been wasting your time and your money trying to find something ready… but when something is ready, you are too poorly equipped to perform and make a living there.
I am writing this article because my students are not getting it… and they don’t even look for the edge effect.
Why? Because to find and create a niche for yourself where you can shine requires courage and creativity. And looking, and recognizing.
Capacities… you see where life is a series of Catch 22’s?
Tai has 10 intangible, spiritual capacities. Even 10 capacities open and active don’t put you into the top 2.5% of any field… With 10 capacities you still need the edge effect… so he chose to create it around the topic: mentoring, book learning, and principles learned through mentoring and reading.
No one else does that, so he created a niche that is not easy to break into. I have read a lot, but would never be able to match his ability to make it a business.
The moment you copy someone’s niche… you are not in the edge effect.
So how are you going to do it?
With guidance.
You see finding the edge effect for yourself is the hardest.
Even if you have talent… it is hard to see your own. You can be the best edge-finding coach in the world, you still need a coach to do you…
I have a process where I help find people integrate their life around what gives them juice in life.
I used to train three people to be able to do that work… We were all on a conference call, when we had a client.
One time we had no client, and they insisted that they do the process with me. Nah… I resisted, but then I relented.
The conversation, off the start, starting with the first question, went in a direction I wouldn’t have thought it would go… and it took us, reliably, firmly, unquestionably, to what gives me and have always given me juice: Bringing the Divine to Everything.
Now that I know I can see it in all my history. And now that I can see it, I can and do organize my life to integrate it around it.
For example: my exercise class. You see, exercise can be mundane, repetitive, blah. But I bring the Divine to it, and it is a celebration, it is a party. Even when it hurts like hell… You can bring the divine to hurting… lol.
Honestly, a lot of you has no juice, has no fun. So for you: no.
But if you can have serious fun (not ha-ha fun, but fulfilling experiences) then yes.
And until then: you may need to create your tap-root, your Sequoia root system…
Or you can continue subsisting in the tiny box you have been decorating all your life.
The coaching conversations are in email. .
You need at least two hours a week to participate. No time? No problem. Don’t apply.
The cost? At present time it’s $15 a week.
You put in eight hours plus a month… The best students put in tens of hours…
You do the work, I just nudge you, spot you, or guide you.
Your results always come from what you do, and not from the coach. Your work. Your insights. Your awareness.
P.P.S. Here is an example of using creativity to gain an edge… the edge effect
PPPS: Tomorrow at 4 pm (May 20, 2020) We’ll have a webinar to create a purpose for your life. Once you have a purpose, everything falls into place. It makes sense… it is clear what’s missing.
It’s beautiful
Register if you want to participate. I prefer participants who have done the Starting Point Measurements…
Register in the webinar
Let me start with the story of a famous thief…Arthur Barry was described by Time as ‘The slickest second-story man in the East,’ truly one of the most famous jewel thieves of all times.
In his years of crime, he committed as many as 150 burglaries and stole jewels valued between $5 and $10 million.
He seldom robbed from anyone not listed in the Social Register and often did his work in… get this…
A tuxedo!
On an occasion or two, when caught in the act of a crime by a victim, he charmed his way out of being reported to the police.
Like most people who engage in a life of crime, he was eventually caught, convicted and served 25 years in prison.
Following his release, he worked as a counterman in a roadside restaurant on the East Coast for $50 a week.
A newspaper reporter found him and interviewed him about his life.
‘I am not good at morals. But early in my life I was intelligent and clever, and I got along well with people.
‘I think I could have made something of my life, but I didn’t.
‘So when you write the story of my life, when you tell people about all the burglaries, don’t leave out the biggest one of all… Don’t just tell them I robbed Jesse Livermore, the Wall Street baron or the cousin of the King of England. You tell them Arthur Barry robbed… Arthur Barry.
Arthur Barry realized — too late –that he’d robbed himself of time.
I don’t know what your dreams and aspirations are — but I do know that for you to achieve them you’ll likely need to get the cooperation and help of your vertical self. Your higher self.
This means that you are going to need to know how get out of your horizontal self, get into your vertical self, and get the cooperation and supportive help of your vertical self…
…and the EASIEST way to do that is to connect to Source… that is on the same vertical as your ‘inner coach’, the Observing Self. And no, it is not your mind. Your mind is NOT your inner coach, though it pretends to be one. Your mind is the one that tells you that you are entitled… or that you are stupid… that you will never amount to anything, no matter what you do.
Your inner coach is your vertical self, and to locate it, you need to be able to use the Tangerine Method to connect to Source. (Alternatively, I think, you can do it while you are connected to the Big Bundle… but I am not sure. I can’t test it because I am always connected.)
You see, most things that are out there (I say most, because I haven’t seen everything yet. But for all the courses that I have seen, what I am saying here is true), most teachers, most training, most coaching, most meditation, most guru stuff, operate on and strengthen your horizontal self.
They operate on your desire to have more, to feel better, to be special, to hoard, to control, to ‘lead’, to have more fun, and all that comes from your horizontal self, and firmly entrenches you there.
Because you want fulfillment, satisfaction, the freedom to be, feel connected, have self-expression fully, be all you can be.
And the horizontal desires don’t give it to you.
The horizontal self will just keep yearning, and spend your time and money on trying to get what those gurus promised…
Or, alternatively, your horizontal self hears that you can. And it may be true. You may have the potential to do it.
One of the winning ideas T. Harv Eker had was to call his company Peak Potentials… and potentials the participants remained.
Even in programs like The Millionaire Mind Intensive where he had a step-by-step method of climbing closer to your potential, people didn’t act on it.
When I did the course, back in 2002, if I remember the year correctly, I went home and started doing those two. I bought the 6 jars, and did the daily exercises from the 90-day program… daily. Diligently.
After 30 days I had a reunion with a lot of people from the class. I asked if they did the exercises, and could not find even one who did.
I, myself, increased my net worth by 30 grands in 30 days.
I felt like a two headed monster… too different to be comfortable. So I quickly retreated to my former self: no jars, no exercises, no money.
Why did I do that, you ask?
Because my horizontal self took over, and I became like everyone else: a potential.
And went back to living a potential life. With the sad reality that my life didn’t amount to much.
The Brilliance at Will course was always about connecting to the Vertical Self.
In the beginning I hoped that I can give it to you, just give it to you while you are connected to Source with the Tangerine Method.
Then I started to teach you the principles of the machine we all live in, the machine that was created by our reptilian brain with its thinking part, the Mind.
I have been at it for years.
My job is to get you to live in your Vertical Self, even when you interact with the horizontal world… television, internet, Facebook, texting, other people, work, traffic, shopping, housekeeping, children, exercising, your body, your pain, your emotions, your thoughts.
The clients and students who are successful, have found one major sticking point and its remedy.
More often than not, it is the Itch and its remedy. That is why I push the Itch workshop, because finding the Itch is the magic looking glass for most.
And having awareness of that one sticking point is enough to turn your life, turn your results, turn your whole life-experience around.
In an upcoming article I will talk about urges. The urge to avoid, the urge to do the same as always. The urge is like a sudden jerk of the machine: near irresistible. And what goes hand in hand with the issue is its remedy: self-discipline.
I have found that the level of self-discipline you have corresponds very well with your vibration, with your level of well being, and with your ability to produce results. The average level of self-discipline in the world is 3%. You need at least a level of 20% to do the work of becoming an Expanding Human Being. Lincoln was at 76%, Edison was at 85%. Where are you with that? You can send me a donation and I’ll measure it for you. In the meantime I am looking for a good course where you could get trained to increase your level of self-discipline.
It seems that I have the biggest issue with that, my own self-discipline. It’s only 30%.
In the meantime just hang in there, come to the Itch, sign up for coaching… all synergistic together.
…after all the most important element of becoming an expanding Human Being is moving the Self into the Observer position.
I have a hunch that the Big Bundle can be an instigator in you being able to be connected and do all the stuff a connected person can do… while the audio is playing you your ears.
PS: The 7 greatest master thieves you’ve never heard ofWe hear more about big time art and jewel heists in the movies than in the news simply for the fact that the main objective of any good burglar is to not get caught. Masters of disguise and often smooth talkers with a knack for getting in and out of even the tightest security environments, these master thieves were the best in the business.
Vincenzo Peruggia: Vincenzo’s life of burglary was pretty short lived and really only had one highlight – the guy stole the Mona Lisa. Yea, the Mona Lisa, which is a pretty big deal, considering it’s probably the most recognizable painting in the world. In 1911, the former museum worker hid inside the Louvre over the weekend and slipped the painting under his painter’s smock and strolled out with it. Yep, it was that easy. Vincenzo kept the painting in his apartment for two years before being busted when trying to sell it to a gallery owner in Italy. Still, the guy had a pretty cool centerpiece for his bachelor pad for a while.
Frank William Abagnale, Jr.: Maybe the only living thief today who has had nearly as much success post his life of crime as he did while on the run. While he didn’t steal any priceless works of art, Frank used his cunningness to scam millions of dollars from banks through check fraud across 26 countries in a period of only five years starting at the tender age of 16. While other kids were working a paper route, Frank was jet setting across the Atlantic taking on the false identities of successful doctors and lawyers. After his FBI bust, Frank took up the honest profession of running a financial fraud consulting biz. Not all his glory was lost however; he guy still got Steven Spielberg to make a movie about him.
François Villon: Francois Villon was a 15th century French poet who supported his himself through a life of crime (surprise – not much $$ in the poetry biz). Spending part of his childhood as an orphan before being adopted by a wealthy clerk, Francois was actually a good student. It didn’t last though and he turned to crime, joining a gang of thieves called “Gang des Coquillards” and began robbing churches and public offices. After his arrest in 1462 he was to be tortured and hanged, but had his sentenced was reduced to banishment. After that not much is known about Francois, but his poems continue to puzzle French lit majors to this day.
Bill Mason: Bill Mason lived the life of a lot of American men, regular job, wife and kids, but on the weekends instead of going on fishing trips he preferred to steal millions of dollars in jewels from the high rise penthouses of the rich and famous. For 25 years, he lived a double life and became addicted to stealing valuables from celebrities like Bob Hope before being busted and serving five years behind bars. Which really doesn’t sound bad, considering estimates of his plunders are around $70 million. Instead of heading back to his cat burglar activities after prison the guy decided to write the bestselling book, Nine Lives. Not a bad way to capitalize on your follies.
Doris PayneDoris Payne: The youngest of six, Doris Payne is the only female on our list and came from humble beginnings of a WV coal miner father – not exactly the classic makings of a 50-yr career jewel thief. Doris didn’t rely on fancy tools or gymnast skills to get the goods, but confusing the store clerks and causing them to forget while she slipped out the store. A master at sweet talking sales clerks, she’d try on multiple items before sneaking out with one or two pieces of bling, often selling them before she left town. Now 80 yrs-old, Doris spends her time in the pen, while talks of a bio pic with Halle Berry float around Tinsel town.
Alan Golder: Besides the riches, international intrigue and possible movie deals one of the cool things about being a master thief is the nickname. Take Alan Golder “The Dinnertime Bandit” for example. Alan started his life of crime at just 6 yrs-old and by 21 was selling stolen jewels on the NYC black market. Often working for the Genovese crime family, Alan would sneak into the homes of such notables as Johnny Carson and rob them blind during their dinner parties. Spending much the 1990s behind bars, upon his release Alan went back to what he knew best, crashing dinner parties and leaving with a doggy bag of bling.
Charles Peace: Quite possibly the most famous cat burglar in history, Charles Peace stood at just 5’4 and used his gymnast skills and elaborate set of tools to raid the homes and stores of London’s rich before finally being tried and hung for his crimes in 1879. Many knew his name, but few knew what the man looked like as a result of the thief’s masterful disguises. Wanted posters issued by Scotland Yard listed his age somewhere between 40-70 yrs old. His unusual life of crime has been the inspiration for dozens of books and films, so in a strange way crime does pay. Peace just wasn’t around to see the benefits.[/efn_note]
Many people tell me that I should not give it all away in articles, after all who is going to buy my stuff if I give away all the ‘knowledge’.
But the truth is, all the MIND knowledge we can ever have will NEVER help us to live a better life, to be healthier, etc. Doctors are an unhealthy bunch, psychologists / psychiatrist are a wimpy bunch, energy healers come to me for healing…
Why? because the mind considers knowing, i.e. information sufficient… and …
Just look at weight: we all know what we should be doing, and we have known it for ever. We read, we learn… and yet the number of obese people is growing by the minute. Or worse than that, people losing and regaining the weight, hating themselves, and are totally POWERLESS… and they don’t know what they can do to become POWERFUL.
There is a difference between knowing and KNOWING. Continue reading “The Pebble In Your Shoe… Have Your Cake And Eat It Too”
Humans have a dual nature, a dual nature that is the enemy of growth, enemy of learning, enemy to the survival of the species…
Arrogance and pride…
Arrogance is duality itself.
We call the arrogant side “it” in this article. And it talks. And it knows. And it pontificates…
What “it” says it knows? It knows everything. It knows if it is worth it to listen, if it is worth for you to do. It knows if you can. It knows the future, the past, what it all means, what it doesn’t mean, what it’s all about, what is important and what isn’t. Continue reading “Spiritual Arrogance”
The counter-intuitive path to happiness
Most people won’t adhere to a diet that would make them healthy.
Stupidity? Yes, stupidity on a very deep selfish gene level.
The selfish gene is not interested in you being happy, fulfilled, feeling connected, or even healthy.
If you have been eating crap, and still can copulate, the selfish gene says: OK, he is alive, he can procreate, good. Let’s continue with the program.
Some cultures call this the ego, but there is a basic and fundamental difference between these two: the ego does have energy, forceful and strong, that is pulling upwards… In the Tumbleweed article, Ego, the triangle sitting on its side is stronger than the “spirit” that is standing on its point, yet you need the strength of the “ego” triangle to get anywhere…
I even teach somewhere how to whisper to the ego to help you overcome the pull of the Selfish Gene that wants you to continue what keeps you miserable, small, and limited to a survival machine.
It’s that they make choices that the genes are making: not making waves, not bringing attention to themselves, not being different, fitting in is more important than being healthy, having energy, feeling good, calm, being intelligent.
Almost everything “social” is gene directed. I say “almost” because I am humble. I don’t know any social that is NOT gene directed, but there could be, maybe.
Continue reading “Telling the truth will set you free. Counter-intuitive…”
