The biggest issues I encounter in my practice is the monkey mind. The noise. The morass. The voices you heed.
What am I talking about? I am talking about a busy mind, stuck in constant chatter, and unable to concentrate at the task at hand. Even to hear! When you are in this state, if you are like me, you are dreaming of reprogramming your mind.
Keep Your New Year Resolution? they say they are broken so often, they seem to be made to be broken.
Here is an article that I’d like you to read if your overall sense of life and your important areas of life is that they are stressful, and that you are never getting ahead. When you re-evaluate your projects with the method taught in this article, you will feel good about yourself, because you will keep more of your resolutions.
The method in this article can make a huge difference, and the time it takes is very small compared to you being stuck for a long-long time.
Joe (not his real name) made a new year resolution to stop smoking. He set the date, and he made a plan. Then he started to implement his plan. The plan was to gradually cut down. Then he kept on smoking.
We had our usual coaching call on Wednesday at noon. I asked: what would you like to accomplish in this call?
Joe started to talk about his weight… that one day he lost a pound, the other he gained 2… He weighed himself upon awakening every day, and he was mortified at the up and down nature of his daily weight. He was spending a lot of time worrying about that, he confessed. Continue reading “How to make commitments so you Feel Good About Yourself?”
Most “do-it-for-you” programs don’t work. Why? Are they bad? Are they fakes, thieves, or is there something in our design as human beings that prevents us from taking advantage of these opportunities. This is what this article is about. Surprising. Documented. True. Continue reading “No One CAN Do It FOR You… And Even if They Could…”
Do you feel stuck? Are you trying to do everything but you still are stuck at the miserable place instead of where you could be your best?
If so, you are not alone.
One of my clients used to be in constant survival.
He could see that he wasn’t doing what he really wanted to do with his life.
He knew he loved to learn.
Also: He loved to be in conversations about deep issues where he could distinguish, for himself and another what they were looking at, deeply, precisely and in a way that it altered life. He loved that.
You look around. Everyone seems to have it better than you. They laugh, they hug, they walk hand in hand, kiss… or have friends who like them… but you? If feels like you have no one, no one cares about you, no one responds well to you… You are not getting enough “strokes”… from others.
A “stroke” (in Transactional Analysis) is a unit of social transaction. A hug. A nod. A smile. A hello, a thank you, a “how are you?”, or an f… you…. these are all social transactions. The more strokes you get the less your spine will shrivel up on you…
With regards to the title… I am not suggesting that you become like Jesus… but become like the Creator, who supposedly said: there shall be light… or whatever he said… This Creator created with his word. That is the god I mean…
The main difference between a human and a human being, the next level of human evolution, is an inner difference. Not biological, physical, physiological. Instead a difference in what tells the one and the other to do things, what attitude to have, how to do things.
Humans listen to memes, the voices. Voices that are not the human’s friends, voices that have no rhyme and reason, voices that make the human misbehave, and take actions that on the long run make him miserable.
What you say and what you do… when it comes to your children becoming educated, productive people
One of the signs of the overwhelming inauthenticity and low level of integrity is the gap between what people say and what people do.
My definition of authenticity is that there is nothing in the unsaid. Nothing in the unsaid that isn’t consistent with what is visible…
In essence, no lying by omission.
Authenticity is one of those big words that no one knows what it really means… so they go by feeling. The simplest way to define authenticity is that there is no pretense, no façade, no game playing. The person is the same through and through. When they are seen and when they are not.
Most people smile a lot in their pictures, but I can feel their anxiety, their fear, their inner trembling. An inauthentic smile.
One more thing that I haven’t said before, but given that we are working with memes and affirmations: if you obey memes, if you repeat memes, if you try to fit in with memes, you cannot be authentic.
Because your inner you, whether you know who it is or what it is, knows that what you are saying, what you are doing is not you… you are trying to fit in. Fitting in is not authentic.
Werner has a saying about authenticity: he says we are always inauthentic, so we can only be authentic (tell the truth) about our inauthenticity.
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One of the measures in the Starting Point Measurements is the inauthenticity measure.
I have been surveying mothers and fathers of children to find out to what degree they care about their children’s future.
Life wants more life… so one would assume that both men and women will want their children to become all they can become.
And when it comes to lip-service, this is often what they say.
But when it comes to putting their money where their mouth is… the truth is vastly different.
Less than one percent of women spend money on their children’s future. Education, skill building, music lessons, language lessons, educational toys, etc.
30% of men do.
If you listen to memes, you are now surprised.
Memes tout women as more caring, but these numbers talk against the memes.
Actually, in my experience, what women see as caring makes their children dependent on them, and makes their children a TLB-1…
Having barely any chance of making it in life.
TLB 1 people want me to be nice to them, to protect them, to be like a mother. But the whole field of mother-child is bankrupt when it comes to helping children become strong adults.
The words ‘caring’ and ‘love’ mean different things to different people: there is barely any agreement about any of it.
But we can agree to disagree… how women hear the words love and caring, I am guessing from their behavior, is being loved and being cared for.
To women it means Receiving. Desire to receive for the self alone.
While men hear it, maybe, as a giving, as an earning, as something that allows them to function in the world better, given that their sexual needs, and maybe some other needs can be taken care of.
In my occasional conversations, women behave like this 80% of the time, or maybe it is 80% of women 100% of the time?
I don’t know.
But the number of women who don’t recognize what ‘deal’ they entered when they got married is staggering. The deal the man thought was made, what the man thought the deal was is that the woman will help their spouse make a living. That the will become mothers to the future generation so the man’s genes will get expression.
This is not only true about talented, high earning women: this is true for women who are not high earning, not learned, not highly skilled.
And of course between parties who didn’t spell out the ‘deal’, and now they are at odds, the children are a burden, or mere negotiating chips.
I do see exceptions, when the woman is exceptional.
And occasionally I do see role reversals as well.
This is not genetic. This is meme based.
The genes know what is important.
The memes say what is profitable for the meme creators.
Don’t be mistaken: memes, the meme creators have a profit motive, and they may also have an overwhelming desire to create a zombie consumer society where they can sway popular opinion at will.
All you need to do to create a zombie consumer society is to keep people be interested in some vague ideal that they need to fill, be pretty, thin, crave sex, and to harass the men so they can never feel at peace and in balance.
Or be a career woman who fights for equal income, even if she can’t focus at work with sick children at home. To have the children be a burden.
No matter which direction the memes sway you, you are not on the side of life.
All the shoulds and all the should nots are memes. All of them. With one agenda: to keep you out of balance, to keep you buying stuff… to be needy and wanty.
For many centuries it was only religion with its memes. But today… with the social sites… ugh.
With more and more memes every generation of humans is less sturdy, less hardy, less willing to be a self-starter when it comes to educating themselves… because there is hardly anyone who cares about it… other than caring to give lip-service.
The Reality Challenge will be ongoing… so you can sign up if you are at all interested in weeding out the memes… so you can start being the driver of your life.
I have at least 2-3 conversations each day that are so profound I should make them public. Sometimes i do… not very often.
Here is one from today:
Him: Wow. I realized on yesterday’s call that there are memes and voices when I am on the call and they are disturbing me to get things more than I am doing. Or disturbing me to look, think and not going to the head. These voices are fear based. “What if I say something wrong, what if I can’t do what she says etc.” It went better yesterday because I was conscious of them and could decide to just let them be noises and have my attention on what you were saying instead.Continue reading “Memes. If you catch them, life may start working…”
Reprogramming Your Mind
