Remembering Yourself… Staying Awake… The color exercise

Originally posted 2008-12-29 11:30:07.

I have been reading Colin Wilson: The Outsider.

Colin Wilson is one of my favorite writers. I started my course of study with him with The Mind Parasites, a science fiction novel, back in 1987.

In the books I have read, Colin Wilson is only interested (really) in a few questions: What does it mean to be a Human Being, and how to accomplish that? What is the purpose of life, and how to fulfill on that purpose?

These are exactly the questions I have been pondering for about 23 years.

If we consider the question a jigsaw puzzle, he provides the final picture, and some methodology, I provide mostly methodology.

I need Colin Wilson. My faculties to think “What is the purpose of life” are somewhat impaired. It is not my strength. My strength is to provide Kaizen type (transformative) exercises to

  1. prepare yourself
  2. accomplish the task.

Like any worthy goal, the preparation, the becoming the kind of person who can reach the goal, is 99% of the job. 1% is crossing the finish line.

Continue reading “Remembering Yourself… Staying Awake… The color exercise”

What do THEY mean when they ask you to share??

Originally posted 2008-12-17 11:30:07.

I know the word sharing gets thrown around in these emails quite a bit. Sometimes we become numb to the word. To get back to basics,

sharing means giving something of ourselves.

It can be sharing with someone we’re not used to sharing with. It can be opening up with someone we’re not used to opening up to. Or it can be calling someone with whom we’re holding a grudge and wishing them well and saying something nice, some words of wisdom. It can be anything. It just has to be an unconditional stretch.

As a Landmark Education junkie, I have heard the urging ‘Share, share share.’

In Landmark Education they mean ‘Bring more chumps like you so that Landmark Education can become a World Class Organization, here to stay.‘ They mean: do our selling for us. No please, no anything… Maybe they don’t, but that is how it lands for people. It didn’t land that way for me…

In multilevel marketing companies (network marketing, MLM) they say the same thing, but mean, definitely, selling. Continue reading “What do THEY mean when they ask you to share??”

Recovering Victim! Get the f… out of my way!

Originally posted 2008-12-17 11:30:07.

Recovering Victim, get the f… out of my way.

That was printed on the front of my T-shirt in 1991 at the Communication Commando Course… a week long Landmark Education program.

What was that about?

Here is the story.

In the course, on the 2nd day, if I remember correctly, we were talking about your ‘default’ albeit hidden way of communicating. What you say before you say ‘hello’.

We formed small groups of five, and we looked at each other and made up a little statement of what we thought the person was communicating without saying anything. Continue reading “Recovering Victim! Get the f… out of my way!”

What, when, why, and how of what happened

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In this short article I’ll regale what has really happened to me and my body, that I have been struggling to stay alive for so long.

I have had an infected water connection… don’t know more than that… I assume I have had it for years… maybe more than a decade.

The organism creates neurotoxins and thus I have been taking that for years. Continue reading “What, when, why, and how of what happened”

The feedback that made me look again at myself

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Hi Sophie,

Thank you for writing this (yesterday’s) article. I too have wanted a magic and quick way to get to the conclusion or result of something. But with using the sight capacity and also looking at my past projects or successes, the quick “shortcut” way almost never works, or doesn’t lead to a sustained result.

Lately I also had a bit of time to reflect when I wasn’t feeling well on a couple of days. I had been reviewing some of the past communications that we had before, such as the guidance that you provided in the food lists, since 2017. I realized that several times where I did not follow the guidance, I thought I knew better or took what you said personally, or thought it meant I was “wrong” (though I can tell now that you were just saying ‘A is A’). For example, when you said I had inflammation, I automatically went to “inflammation is bad” and “it is wrong for me to have inflammation”. While I didn’t doubt that what you said was correct, I struggled to accept it, as it didn’t match what I wanted to believe, or my view of reality.

Anyway this ties into your latest article where you talked about people doing what they say they will do, and quickly. Getting well for me has been a process too. It’s the small actions that I take every day that over time lead to progress. This includes eating only foods on my food list, noticing my attitudes, slowing down instead of rushing, listening to the big bundle during the night, and using the energy healing audio. There have been some periods recently where I made a kind of experiment to (temporarily) do the opposite of what would improve my health, and not surprisingly, I did not feel happy and energetic. I felt worse and I couldn’t maintain focus and be productive. So I have made a commitment to myself to go back to the strait and narrow, to go back to what was working, as my purpose is to achieve and sustain health, even if there are parts to it that I don’t understand. I get reminders of the debilitating back pain and stiffness if I accidentally eat something with leaves, and from that I get sufficient motivation to stay on track. I definitely don’t want to live a life where I feel that pain nearly every day as I did in early 2022. The vast majority (if not all!) of the actions that I can take to move me in the right direction with regards to my health are within my control, and I am very grateful for that.

I hope that you can make it through this difficult time Sophie. I get that every day is a challenge for you, and it’s very difficult and painful and there is a lot of uncertainty. Thank you for continuing to look for the pieces of the invisible through all of this and I wish the very best for you.

We need to cut our coat according to our cloth

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is your integrity so low? Why, when you say ‘I’ll do that‘ it is almost 100% certain that you won’t? Boggles the mind doesn’t it?

It boggles the mind even though it is natural.

This is just one unnatural thing, to always expect do what you said ‘I’ll do‘ fast, preferably instantly and with lovely attitude. Continue reading “We need to cut our coat according to our cloth”

Crave it to have it, crave it to keep it.

Originally posted 2008-12-01 11:30:07.

Crave it to have it, crave it to keep it. Money? love? success?

The Zohar teaches us desire is a vessel that holds the Light. The idea is attaining blessings and good fortune is not enough to keep them. We must also maintain our desire for what we already have.
Not always an easy thing to do seeing as how our habit is to focus on what we don’t have.
Today, get in touch with the desire you first felt when you started studying Kabbalah, or dating your husband, or working at your dream job. Crave your life!

I had something happen today that was an interesting aspect of this same thing.

Diana and I are partners in our quest to create a business that would benefit both of us.

We have created seven projects, and all seven flopped.
Continue reading “Crave it to have it, crave it to keep it.”

What is the rarest activity? and the most frequent?

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Your original false solution for everything is going to nudge you till you die.

My original false solution is hope. Actions based on hope. Hope that things will be OK, or better.

Or that I am ready now… that I’ll survive.

I could not see this until I got myself into the situation where my survival is not handled yet, of maybe even can’t be handled no matter what I do. Continue reading “What is the rarest activity? and the most frequent?”

It is like being waterboarded… again and again and again.

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It is like being waterboarded… again and again and again.

Waterboarding is, of course, a torture technique designed to break an enemy captured.

Horrible. Even if you survive you have PTSD, nightmares.

And much of this ordeal with my health was like waterboarding… whenever I set my head on a pillow on the bed.

Whether it will last of not is still a question: I don’t have the courage to test it tonight. I’ll do the sitting upright, leaning against something catching minutes of bliss that way. That way at least I am only tortured by tiredness, not by the fear of drowning.

Yesterday while I was looking for a way to end it all, I wanted to post on Facebook: if you can’t sleep, you can’t live… or something like that.

I hadn’t known that. I used to always be able to sleep. Maybe not as well as I wanted to. Maybe not as long as I wanted to, But I could sleep.

Now I can’t. Hopefully I can learn to sleep again.

Sleep again in bed.

So tonight I was testing out some of my own energy audios to see how well they will stand up to the panic this sense of suffocating death creates.

I tried a few. Some, interestingly, conveyed the anxiety I had when I recorded them.

But one has performed amazingly. Of course it is no proof yet, but as soon as I removed the audio, the panicked breath returned… As soon as I removed the ear bud.

the audio is called heaven on earth silent short.

—I wrote the above a few days ago…

Yesterday I had a breakthrough insight.

I was, or better said, the body was trying to heave. But my stomach was empty, not even water in it.

It was dramatic. it was heroic. but most importantly, I could see through the spaces between what was happening that my body was strong. And it wanted to live.

That allowed me to change my mind. I had thought before that my body was ready to go and I was holding it back.

Between you and me I had never fully committed to life. After all I had overheard my parents talk about me, when I was an infant, saying that I wasn’t supposed to be alive.

It is true that I had a bacterial invasion on my body. It is true that it made me cough. It is true that I felt like I was drowning. It is also true that the Bit Bundle could have solved the whole issue… but the coughing was so intense, I gave up on it.

It is true that every breath feels like the last one. And hurts. Mightily.

But counterpoint to that: the body wants to live.

What is the difference between a human and a human being?

My work is to take humans from the Valley Of The Shadow Of Death to the Promised Land… to Human Beingness. This post might be an important milepost in that.

I read an article in the Howard Business Review that points out a worldview that is at the root of you staying a potential, you staying an effect, in every area of your life.

Although the article is a business article, business is a great analogy to life. Another great analogy is travel.

Travel is a much easier, much more accessible activity, so I will use it, while, if you want to read the original business article, I am enclosing it.
Continue reading “What is the difference between a human and a human being?”