Your self-esteem and your self-control: what is the connection?

duality-wordpicPeople, all people are puzzled and disturbed by their dual nature. You love and hate, drip with envy, at times taken over by desire… while you consider yourself sane, and nice, and compassionate and goal-driven.

It is natural to be dual in nature, and it is natural to be puzzled about it, be disturbed about it. If you pay attention, this is the main reason humans invented religion… to make sense of this duality.

The drive to suppress one side of this duality, to declare it bad, or a sin is part of human nature. Human nature is to strive for simple, obvious, and clear… to strive for certainty. A sense of control or a sense that you can control your world.


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Self-image… the lies, the misunderstanding, the delusions… Can you change it?

1b19f2f6d457c34df696dee90d9b0369Let us not confuse ourselves by failing to recognize that there are two kinds of self-confidence — one: a trait of personality and another: that comes from knowledge of a subject. It is no particular credit to the educator to help build the first without building the second. The objective of education is not the production of self-confident fools.” ~ Albert Bandura, Self Efficacy: The Exercise of Control, p.65

When I ask a person about their self-image, they have a different image of themselves consciously than on the first brain unconscious level.

Here are a few examples:Back in 1987 my conscious self-image, the one I promoted, was that I was very smart. My unconscious, automatic self-image was that I was a failure, or more precisely, a failure waiting to happen.


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Your two brains… trying to be a creator with the first?

kelli-in-the-rawYesterday I got a request to review Kelli in the raw (Kelli Coffee Sessions – Kelli In The Raw TV)

She is quite charismatic, and looks and acts different than most of the people who are duping people. I went and experienced one of her youtube sessions… an “activation” session.

She generates and moves energy around with her hands, and talks. The energies felt very strong, very unpleasant, in the upper chest and the throat (greed). Continue reading “Your two brains… trying to be a creator with the first?”

Tell me your problems and I’ll know the size of your life…

offended-3When your life is about you… when your life is about others… when your life is about ideas.. these are different sizes of a life you can have. In this article we’ll examine the effects of these levels on your peace of mind, level of fulfillment, the quality of your life.

We’ll start with me… and my experience.

In 1988 January 1, around 3 minutes after the ball dropped on Times Square, I declared something that ultimately turned my life around.


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One aspect of awareness is recognizing patterns, recognizing distinctions

bricksThe more things, patterns, behaviors, laws you recognize quickly, the more power you have in life… An success is largely dependent on your power to navigate the treacherous waters of life.

So this article is about distinctions… patterns, behaviors, laws… whatever you call them, they are essential if you want to live life on a higher level.

One demands two things of a poem. Firstly, it must be a well-made verbal object that does honor to the language in which it is written. Secondly, it must say something significant about a reality common to us all, but perceived from a unique perspective. What the poet says has never been said before, but, once he has said it, his readers recognize its validity for themselves.
~ W. H. Auden

I have been teaching what a distinction is for years now, and to my chagrin the teaching never landed… people don’t understand what I am talking about.

Here is a quote that says it better than I can say it.


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The 3 Categories Of Gurus Mirrored In The 3 Types Of Seekers

guru-worshipThere are three categories of gurus and three types of seekers that fit each other as glove and hand

Guru Category 1. The Hopeful Path:

Naive, pliable, hopeful. Hoping that what you are doing is going to take you out of the misery: having feelings, and a constant battle inside between the aspects of a human being, each pulling in a different direction.You really really really want to be enlightened! Really… lol. But you know you aren’t. There is shame and guilt and sadness in your emotions, and often anguish: the fear of being caught. Ultimately you “do” this spirituality stuff to get away from being human. You fail. There is no escape… you are human, with all that comes with that territory. Continue reading “The 3 Categories Of Gurus Mirrored In The 3 Types Of Seekers”

Energy healing, coaching, nutritional consulting

preacher1Yesterday I had an “energy healer” type of person on the Open Mic aka Talk to Me webinar.

Normally these webinars are really fun: we talk. Students ask questions, some great, some simple and to the point… they have fun, I have fun, and our relationship deepens.

Yesterday was a different kind of session: there was this “energy healer” guy… and he was into arguing, debating, talking about what he thinks, what he learned, blah blah blah.

He considered my webinar his forum to disseminate his wisdom. His learning. His take on the world.


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Pleasure seeking, avoiding pain behavior…

white-tigerThere are two kinds of pleasure.

  1. Pleasure that is immediate, impulsive, and requires no or little sustained effort and
  2. Pleasure that is the result of work… sustained effort.

No matter what pleasure you seek, what makes it pleasure is the contrast:

there needs to be pain for pleasure to exist. 1

Although I could write about pleasure that you earn through hard and sustained work, and I have written hundreds of articles about it, people with too small capacity for pain (TLB) rarely turn around and become people who want to earn their pleasure.

illo-brainSo in this article I’ll address the pleasure seeking behavior of people, you? whose pain threshold is very low.

Pain is a discomfort. Most pain is emotional or intellectual, only some are physical.
Continue reading “Pleasure seeking, avoiding pain behavior…”

Donald Trump: the other side of The Donald

the-other-side-of-donald-trumpSoul correction… if it is accurate and really something recognizable, then you should be able to tell someone’s soul correction without knowing their birth date.

Of course you need to know the person well.

This is exactly what happened this morning.

I found an email in my inbox recommending an article on what Tony Schwartz, Donald Trump’s “The Art of The Deal” book’s ghostwriter has to say now that the Republicans make Donald Trump their presidential candidate. Donald Trump: personal vibration: 70. Number of spiritual capacities: 4, overall intelligence, including emotional and spiritual intelligence: 30. For contrast: Adolph Hitler: personal vibration: 100. spiritual capacities: 4. overall intelligence: 50.

I am only halfway in the article, and it is already clear: Donald Trump is the archetype of a bombastic liar, a delusional self-aggrandizing sociopath… The soul correction of “Finish What You Start”.

Obviously each soul correction is a scale… where the correction is done to one degree or another.

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The average number of people in any program that actually get the results promised by the program is as low as 1-2%

FULL_ResultsWhat is the paralyzing factor that is responsible for producing such low results in any type of program?

The normal result is 1~2%, and an extraordinarily successful course with lots of handholding can clock a 7% result.

And this result does not see to depend on the amount of schooling people have, or the average IQ…

This afternoon I listened in to a webinar orientation of the marketing course I am taking. As I said, the course is two thousand dollars, ten weeks, and it started yesterday.

Its bulk was answering questions. And the questions were a dead giveaway why people don’t succeed in the courses they take:

You can already see on day two of a 10 week course who is not going to succeed. Who is asking the type of questions that belie their thinking habits…

Continue reading “The average number of people in any program that actually get the results promised by the program is as low as 1-2%”