Become all you can become by raising yourself higher on the Tree of Life

Some stories make you cry… because you identify with a person in the story.

Other stories, like this one, make me cry from two sides…

If you found that you stopped growing beyond a certain age… please cry with me… It may flush away the blockage, and allow you to catch up. Then, maybe, cry for Mrs. Thompson… I cried for me, and I cried for her. Because I had my “favorite and best teachers” of my own. And I have dropped the ball on some of my students…

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.
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Only people who are willing to go to hell and back can have real compassion and be happy.

It’s been a weird couple of days.

Every time I stop doing something my mind goes to evil acts I have seen in movies or read about in books.

It started with the Marco Polo series on Netflix. I realized that I can’t watch betrayal… something about betrayal is too difficult for me to be with.

I wondered if it was that I saw myself in either the traitor or the betrayed, but I don’t think it’s that.

But it dislodged a veritable mound of buried memories of acts in books and other movies.

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If nothing has worked for you… you are still as stuck as ever

Let’s look at the role of discovery in growth… your growth… if there is no growth, there has been no discovery.

All the steps of the 67 steps program are nudges for you to discover something that you haven’t seen.

Of course, like with everything, your tendency is to go to your head for the answers, and not look at all outside of your head.

The step (Step 5) where the homework is to list what you see about poor people and rich people is a great step to show your relationship to growth.

If you think you are rich, you go and tell me how what you do, how you think, how you feel is the way to be rich. No looking, no discovery.
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I was looking at trust, the intangible capacity to trust… and its role in becoming a winner

In the past four months that I have been able to turn on individual capacities for people, I have received no request to turn on trust.

Why is that?

After all people, rightly, asked me for self-trust. But self-trust won’t be enough.

So what can be the current worldview with regards to trust, that trust doesn’t come up as number one to turn on.

Because, whether you know it or not, without trust there is no winning. Without trust there is no flow. Without trust there is no fulfillment.

When I measured some winners in life, for whom it took years to hone their skills with which they won, money, recognition, admiration… trust was there, fully open.

As you probably already know, I use playing Freecell as my laboratory. It is much the way Richard Dawkins, The Selfish Gene author used the computer simulation “Prisoner’s Dilemma”… very enlightening for me.

So, what I saw today, and it’s only 6:45 am, lol, that without trust you can only play for keeps, or without trust you can’t open your eyes wide, and take steps that will only pay off 20-30 steps down the line. Continue reading “I was looking at trust, the intangible capacity to trust… and its role in becoming a winner”

One big thinking mistake you’ve kept from early childhood, that is holding you back in life

When you were a little kid, the whole world looked quite magical. Food appeared out of nothing, people did big things, cakes, birthday gifts, all kinds of big things came out of nothing.

The child thinks that this is the nature of reality: big things from nothing.

No wonder the magical thinking modalities, like manifestation and “law of attraction” are so popular: most of you never changed your worldview: you still think that the nature of reality is to jump from one state to the other, create something from nothing…

This was also the secret of Sai Baba, whose whole fame and fortune came from his ability to do sleight of hand magic tricks. Millions fell for it.

But this is not how it happens in nature.

Actually change in nature is based on microscopic changes… 90% of them in the invisible domain, below the earth, inside the cells, where you can’t see it, can’t track it.
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Another way lack of humility screws with you

The Detached/Unattached ¹ capacity workshop evolved into a major tranformational process course… which I didn’t know it was going to do. ²

Lots of insights, but here is one I want to share:

In your life, beginning with your life in the womb, you made up stories about how you are, how others are, how life is.

Your life, the quality of your life, whether you are worth a damn, whether you have knowledge, strategy, whether you do something worth doing or not, are given by the stories you made up.
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What does humility mean?

Why am I pushing humility, the capacity?

Humility is one of those words that mainstream says it means something other than it actually means.

Humility simply means: you are willing to not take it personally. You are willing to not have it mean anything about you.

Why is this important?

When anything, and I mean any thing means anything about you, you are hooked. Your ego is hooked. It becomes a survival game… and in survival it is an either you or me game.

So, simply put humility means putting ego on pause.
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What else you need to know about the capacity: flexibility?

What else do you need to know about the capacity: flexibility?

In a recent article I pit reed-mode against oak-mode.

I call one flexible and the other inflexible or stuck.

But there is more to it.

Reed

Reed can be blown in any direction, and it doesn’t resist
Reed will return to its neutral state once the wind stops blowing. It knows what it is, and it returns there. It’s a natural state of growth, happiness and peace.

Sometimes you think you are a reed, because you are blown, in one direction: misery. But you are mistaken.
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How words really effect you? And how positive thinkers are stupid

If you had a childhood trauma… what is the best way to deal with it now, so you can grow?

Some of you were abused as a child.

Now, strictly speaking, there is no such thing as abuse in reality. Abuse is a particular interpretation of something that happened. If I asked a visiting Martian what happened, he would say things like one person hit the other, or one person yelled at another, or one person tied up another, pushed them down, maybe even put one part of their anatomy into the other… but not abuse.

Abuse never happened… or it happened only if you said so… for you. In your mouth. In your interpretation.

Some things don’t exist outside of language… they don’t exist in reality. Abuse is just one of these. One other “thing” that doesn’t exist in reality is lack… In reality only things that are there exist.

New age gurus talk about the importance of the words you use. Of course, either because you are dumb or they are dumb, this gets generalized.
Continue reading “How words really effect you? And how positive thinkers are stupid”

The path to beauty, goodness, and truth is through…

The path to beauty, goodness, and truth is through the ugly, the bad, maybe even the horrible, not around them

We all bow to a deity, the god of respectability. Looking good, being well thought of, getting respect.

Even animals pretend, just watch your cat… their survival depends on looking good to you… so they pretend…

To be authentic

…to have no need to pretend, being willing to be seen, warts an all, is more human, it is in the direction of the evolution of the species.

While you give your life to respectability, your life sours, your dreams die, you stop knowing who you are, where you are, what YOU want, what YOU want to do with your life. You don’t know who you are.

Very unpleasant and troubling feeling.

Most are stuck there, but some (you?) yearn to know and live in harmony with who they are… love themselves, but how do you go about it?

Bad news: you can only get to your true self, to your inner beauty, your inner goodness, your inner truth through wading through the ugly, the nasty, and the mountain of lies about you.
Good news: What you need to wade through is only a certain amount of ugly… 30, 50, 70? Depends on you and how much you sold out on respectability, status, on looking good.

There is a finite amount of ugly, though it is still a small army…

…that unless you can face it, without running from it, without judging it, without trying to unsee it, it is going to stay and multiply. and keep you in the world of pretense, where who you are is not who you pretend to be.

Now, I know it is a mouthful, but

ultimately that is the work. Seeing all the ugly about yourself. And make peace with it.

The help I can give, is to give you pointers, give you beacons so you will see the ugly by their light. And, of course, the Unconditional Love Activator, will make it a lot easier…

One such beacon is when you feel an urge to explain or justify.

If you stop for a moment and look behind that urge to justify your actions, you’ll see ugly. You’ll see that either you don’t trust yourself, or you don’t trust the other person to like you after you did what you believe is the right thing while you knew it wasn’t.

Don’t just stop explaining or justifying… no value there. Look. See the ugly in you. Own it.

The ego is the part of you that wants to stay the same. It wants you to resist looking because if you saw it, you’d want to change.

The ego is the part of you that you’ve been quietly and secretly in cahoots with… but, unfortunately, it is also the ego that could give you strength to accomplish.

But you limit what the ego can do for you by having more and more to hide, more and more falsehood to prove every day.

You look at every program with suspicion. Will this want me to change? Will this want me to look at what I have been hiding?

You say you want to change, you say you want a great life, but you are lying.

You can’t have the rose without the thorns, you can’t have night without day… Life has a certain order to it, but you want, with all your might, to go around it.

You want respect without giving respect, you want love without giving love, you want something for nothing, you want beauty without the ugly.

You invent religions, you invent gods, afterlife, karma, just to avoid having to face the truth about you.

You rearrange the furniture, do feng shui, invite a shaman in your home to get rid of evil spirit… but you go back, and there it is again: evil spirit. In you… The ugly that you have been hiding.

Everyone has ugliness inside, by the way. It is not just you.

Beacon #2:

You can see the ugly in others that means you are good or at least better. Nice. High minded.

Exactly the opposite is true.

All the nasty stuff you see in others is something you recognize because you have it.

They hold up a mirror for you to see it. But you run, but you hide, but you blame, smear, get angry.

You miss the lesson.

I am not saying it’s pleasant. But it is possible to bring a sober eye to the things you see and say: Hm… I see that. Hm, that’s ugly. or nasty. However you express yourself. Sober. Matter of fact. Flat.

To the degree you can own the ugliness, to the same degree it loses its hold on you.

Whatever you allow to be, allows you to be.

Beacon 3: Apologizing

Husband cheated on you? Notice the nastiness that comes up… it is choking you. Notice that you want to be nice… then the nastiness comes out… and you apologize.

Don’t apologize. Actually have it a goal to never have a reason to apologize.

If it comes out… then instead of pushing it back, and feeling shame, fear, rejoice. You got a chance to see the poison you carry around. And own it as yours.

Sit down and watch it simmer. Accept it for what it is. Embrace it. Do NOT justify, do NOT explain, just allow.

The longer you can watch it the less power it will have… Half done work (looking away, justifying) will bite your ass.

The beautiful you is behind the ugliness… it is not next to it, not in front of it, it is behind it.

As long as you have the ugly, all beautiful is a pretense… ugh, that hurts, right?

Now get to work. And let me know if and when you are ready for the Playground. Or Reclaim. Or both…

Oh, and don’t forget to stock up on the Unconditional Love Activator. You’ll need it.