Category: Feelings: the 13th Floor

The blind chicken syndrome… and the mind

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Even a blind chicken will find a seed here and there… but it may die before it finds enough to survive.

There are statistics that before someone become a millionaire or a billionaire, they went through a few bankruptcies.

One could surmise that it’s a rule… but what no one is saying, at least I haven’t heard… is the blind chicken rule.

If you learn to see through trial and error what there is to see, in business, in relationships, in health, then your next try will have more chances to succeed, if you put in practice what you saw.

There is something about the learning that is unusual: it is non-verbal.

If and when the person turns what they saw into words, rules, the learning disappears.
Continue reading “The blind chicken syndrome… and the mind”

The secret that every successful person uses thinking that it is common knowledge

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I have been in deep thought since yesterday…

This article can become a watershed… when you’ll say: before I learned that… and after I learned that… What? Read the article.

“Adoration of a President-to-Be” –

Newly engaged John F. Kennedy & Jacqueline Bouvier – Cape Cod, July 4th 1953
source: Life

Continue reading “The secret that every successful person uses thinking that it is common knowledge”

It’s not always what you do, but in what order

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Actions that are perfect at one time are disastrous at other times.

To see what is the cause and what is the effect is mandatory if you want to be happy.

To know that starting a building the roof before the house is stupid… is a rare skill… most people do the equivalent of that in the area of spirituality, building a business, finding a fulfilling vocation, etc.

The Sight capacity can really help, but it takes building the skill of seeing what is there to higher levels than it naturally is. Normal sight is 1% accurate. 1%… horrible, no?

If you were a tracker, someone who tracks an animal or a person, the signs you see as clues would mean nothing to the other… although they, maybe, have the same sight capacity open, and yet. Continue reading “It’s not always what you do, but in what order”

How to ‘earn’ a master’s degree in beingness?

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How to ‘earn’ a master’s degree in beingness? In attitude? In emotional intelligence?

A lot of people use famous quotes for guidance, and, if my observations are correct, those quotes increase your sense of inadequacy, your sense of doom about 90% of the time. And 10% of the time you don’t even need inspiring quotes, you are already inspired.

So, what do you do? You pretend how much you love it, how much difference it makes… while inside, the gap between your authentic self and the horizontal self is growing with every lie.
Continue reading “How to ‘earn’ a master’s degree in beingness?”

The benefits, the drawbacks of a true empath coach

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Most people, including coaches, are too wrapped up in their thoughts, in what they want, etc.

They cannot see outside of it… In essence they are locked into the nine dots… the famous exercise.

Here is another one I learned this morning, and I fell into the same nine dots trap…

A father and a son has a car accident. The emergency services take them to different hospitals given their injuries. Continue reading “The benefits, the drawbacks of a true empath coach”

Is an accurate vocabulary the key to emotional intelligence?

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My first breakthrough in emotional intelligence came when a number of years ago I identified the emotion that curled down the corners of my mouth. It was familiar… and it was the first time I had words to wrap around the emotion: “I am personally offended.”

The key word there is ‘Personally’…

Of course, every time you are offended, you took something personally, as if it happened to you, as if it were directed to you, personally.

Rarely, if anything, is directed at you personally.

In fact the offending party is so wrapped up in their own ‘stuff’ that they scarcely took notice of you… at all. Continue reading “Is an accurate vocabulary the key to emotional intelligence?”

A wave of suppressed memories, feelings surfacing

I have been looking at the memories surfacing in the past month… allowing me to look at them, like you would look at physical memories in an attic or a storage facility, and reminiscence and then put them back where they were, or in the garbage.

The first wave was shame.

I dealt with tens of instances in my past that I am ashamed of. Yeah, yours truly… I did all those things I am ashamed of now.

I have also gone back and watched some actors I grew up loving, now dead. Some theater plays. Some singers. And wept. Good cleansing tears.

And I am not even on my deathbed… as far as I know… lol. Continue reading “A wave of suppressed memories, feelings surfacing”

The curse of understanding… It adds nothing…

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If I know you well, your relationship to life is mainly through understanding. Which you either have or not.

When you do, you are happy, even though you are just as unsuccessful at living well, being fulfilled as you were before. Continue reading “The curse of understanding… It adds nothing…”

How words create and sustain emotions… EQ Part 3

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Unfortunately for you, your emotions determine the quality of your life.

If you haven’t, please read part one and part two first…

‘They’ teach you to try to only have positive emotions, but guess what… you only try to have positive emotions on the top of negative ones…

The less emotions you have the higher the quality of your life… Surprised? It’s true.

Imagine you are a baby… You are happy. You are just here to eat and poop.

There is nothing you can or even have to do for yourself, you completely rely on other people, for security, for comfort, for sustenance, to clean you up… everything. Continue reading “How words create and sustain emotions… EQ Part 3”

Scientists are trying to keep you on the 15th floor

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Once you distinguish something, you start seeing it everywhere… not only where you expect it, but really everywhere. This is done by something called the reticular activator or reticular activating system.

I teach distinctions, distinguishing, and my students are reluctant to learn and start seeing… Until you see it everywhere, everything is still about you… and no transformation can take place.

The new distinction I have learned from a set of books by Hungarian engineer, Gyozo Margóczi, is that all emotions are created by words, even though feelings are not… Feelings are a little pressure here, tightness there… no meaning. There is a feeling and then you add a word, and you get emotion. Depending on the word you add, the emotion changes.

Here is the map-of-feelings-translated-to-emotions2020 with the corresponding feelings… Continue reading “Scientists are trying to keep you on the 15th floor”