Instead of trying to change life, Become a match to life

Instead of trying to change life, Become a match to life

I can feel the wind, but I am not the wind. I can hear the voices and I am not the voices.

The above is a quote from one of my students who has raised his vibration, even though his soul correction is one of the difficult five.

Thinking that the voices are significant, engaging with the voices makes us schizophrenic, as if we were many people.

Thoughts, voices, are like the wind. If you start to listening to the wind as if it talked to you, you go crazy. The wind takes over your life, starts running your life, and you go crazy.

The wind whispers, the wind sings. It has nothing to do with you. And so is with all the thoughts.

Hoping for a silent mind is like hoping that everything is given to you without you having to do anything. Really.

Wanting life to be different than it is.

No one can promise you an easy life. No such thing.

The only authentic promise anyone can make is make you a match to life.
Continue reading “Instead of trying to change life, Become a match to life”

Smart people don’t have to look… Creativity is genetic… and other bullcrap from the Tree of Knowledge

I have started to put my old videos on my video site

I also listened to one… how you lose your creativity, how to get it back…

Continue reading “Smart people don’t have to look… Creativity is genetic… and other bullcrap from the Tree of Knowledge”

How a collage is a diagnostic tool

 

the field of admirer-admired collage“What does it matter how many lovers you have if none of them gives you the universe?” French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan posed that question. I invite you to put it at the top of your list of hot topics to meditate on. In doing so, I trust you won’t use it as an excuse to disparage your companions for their inadequacies. Rather, I hope it will mobilize you to supercharge your intimate alliances; to deepen your awareness of the synergistic beauty you could create together; to heighten your ability to be given the universe by those whose fates are interwoven with yours.

In the current live course, from Upset to Communication we have come to the last of the four non-elevated fields of communication, Admirer-admired. My horoscope, above, for the coming week reflects that.

One of my students has already sent me her collage. It has given me a glimpse into her internal conversations that is deeper than I have ever seen… and I have known her for almost six years now.

Collages, where you go through pictures in magazines, or memes on the internet, are the best way to reveal to yourself your relationship, opinion, attitude about the world, about others, about yourself, about effort, ambition, etc.

Making collages has two parts:
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What should be your first step in becoming astute:?

About the title: an astute person is a person who can see things for what they are

On the Tree of Knowledge we are taught to listen to words instead of looking at reality.

In essence we are cut off from our direct experience of life. 1

In my classes the biggest challenge is to cause the students to see. Unless the seeing comes with words, explanation, they can’t see.

See patterns, see the story behind a picture, see cause and effect, see similarity, see differences, see what they need to see to maneuver life.

Astute is a person who can see things for what they are without having to ask for help, explanation, etc.
Continue reading “What should be your first step in becoming astute:?”

Change vs. Becoming. Fixing vs. Becoming. The dead end paths

The Mindset book is the perfect accompaniment to the Reclaim coaching program, and the From Upset To Communication course where we learn the fields inside which all of life plays out.

I have questions coming at me that shed light to misunderstanding of what this work is about. What the course is about. What the program is about.

I have asked for this type of questions. I have asked my student to share with me what they are getting, so I can see where they are off… where I was off… what it is that is misconstrued, misunderstood, or not understood in what I teach… It was a great idea, because unless I know what you got, I can’t help you.

It won’t be easy to share it, so please advance to me some compassion: I am walking on some uncharted territories.

1. You may feel, together with some of my students, that it is all about removing the upset, removing the disagreements, removing all confrontation, including how hard, how difficult it is to do something.

Hi Sophie,

I’ve re-listened the call and here’s what I got up to now about fields (if I got it 🙂 :
Fields are an energetic, dynamic space where you (need to) move/go intentionally-consciously so that you can communicate with someone who is already there so that communication flows/leads to a win-win outcome.

In other words, you adjust yourself and ‘switch’ fields according to ‘needs’/situation/circumstance no matter what your usual/’default’ field is (does something like default field exist)

And all that you can do when and if you develop such skills first? And these skills is what we learn in the course?

English is her second language, but here is my translation:

She is asking if the course is to teach you to manipulate yourself, until you can get to a place where your can have no strife… where you please the other person, so they don’t kill you… lol.

No. None of my work is about manipulating, or even changing yourself.

That is the forceful approach to life… the approach that cause wars, fracking, and presidents like Trump.

Strong-arming things, people, yourself.

What is underneath is this: There is something wrong. Something wrong with you, something wrong with me, something wrong with it.

So it is a fixing modality.

Whenever you fix something, the wrongness doesn’t go away, it is there, because it is the core of your being.

The action that takes you to Expanding Human Being is becoming.

The reason we use the worm to butterfly analogy, because no traces of the worm can be found in the butterfly, not physically, not emotionally, not spiritually.

Arrogance cannot be fixed: it will remain in every fixed form.
Forcefulness cannot be fixed: it will remain the core of every fixed form.

Becoming is like the seed needs to die to become a plant.

You cannot wrap your mind around it. It is beyond the mind.

I know people with a ton of knowledge but no distinctions.

Distinction is a new way of seeing the world. A becoming.

My job is to cause becoming through seeing the world differently. Through distinctions.

It is like balance: once you get it no one can take it away from you. But if you haven’t gotten it, you can’t get it through explanation, through reading; you have to go through the process of falling and stumbling until you get it.

This is the main reason that humility is the human capacity to all becoming. Humility means: willing to go through what it takes. And experience what there is to experience while going through it.

No jumps in becoming. The mind doesn’t help. Reading doesn’t help. Only going through does it.

2. The second way to miss this work is, I would call, coloring within the lines.

Here is a post inside our Reclaim program, that may help you to see if you belong to this second group:

I am really in an unfamiliar place. A place where the majority of my conscious time is going towards my plans. I honestly feel like I’m in school again. I’m saying this because I hope that my behavior is a reflection of a greater degree of humility.

Where Tai refers to some guy who says we have about 50,000 hours to get it all done, I pause. Now, I realize the number is relative, but it highlights the importance of staying with the pursuit. I surely don’t know how much time I have.

On another note, there’s something that is bugging me. Forgive me if I mess this up, but if humility is about the seeking of knowledge and not the getting of it, could it be that I and others are lacking the foundation for seeking? It occurred to me that I may not possess something necessary to be a great student. When you said to those of us in the Upset webinar that ‘you are not in the class,’ I was dumbfounded.

Then later, I got more of what you meant, but giving myself to something is mostly a foreign approach. Even as I am taking on about as much as I can, at this moment, I feel scarcity saying: hey, there’s only so much you can do in a day so…. I guess what I’m getting at is: maybe there are levels in the depth of humility that I can take on as I learn to manage my life better.

I even realized that sometimes I ask you questions that you refuse to answer, and rightfully so. However, I didn’t know that I was avoiding doing my own work. I’m not sure I know what questions are appropriate to ask you. Is there a guideline I can use so that I don’t ask you questions that are not for you to answer?

This second way of being off… is fear based.

Actually, even the first way is fear based, but the reaction to fear was different there: it was aggression. Here is hiding, cowering, trying, whimpering, backing away from what feels threatening, unpleasant, or a waste of time.

What you want to get is that intellect is not useful in becoming.

Intellect can be actually in the way.

I had the moment clearly when I got my first distinction. It was taught by Werner Erhard himself, and you could hear that he was struggling, intellectually, himself. You could hear that intellect was trying to take him off.

He was attempting to distinguish two. The number two.

The first distinction that alters the rest of life…

For Helen Keller, it was “Water” that created the birth of the paradigm: words. That words are a symbol, a stand-in, for a thing real, a piece of reality.

The moment she got that, she wanted to know the word that was saying: tree, house, me, you.

The movie “The Miracle Worker” (1962) does a great job at capturing the process, capturing the moment.

For me, the distinction “Two” became my “Water” when Werner held up one hand and said “Two”.

It was one hand. One hand. One hand and no second. One hand and in all around there was no hand… no second…

And when I got, hand and no hand make two. hand and everything else make two… I got distinction.

My “evolution”, my becoming became an unbroken path from there.

Now, was it easy to “get it”?

I don’t think so. I had to be there to have my mind blown. There was one other guy and myself who got it.

But that doesn’t mean YOU can’t get it. But you have to let your mind be blown.

That is humility in action. That is growth mindset in action. Becoming. Growing a set of new eyes.

Everything else is hoarding, fixing, explaining.

Change.

The more things change the more they stay the same…

PS: Becoming is rare. If you read the Mindset book, she documents the opposite… very generously.

Humans’ imagination in inventing false, fake becoming is inexhaustible.

And because people really would like to become, the fake becoming paths sell like hotcake. This is the secret the gurus, spiritual teachers, more money teachers, more love teachers, more time teachers capitalize on.

None of them teach you how to become, in fact they haven’t done the work themselves, they use the tone of voice, the right words that sound like they have become, but they are fooling you, fooling themselves.

And that’s why you feel like you should get a magic potion to turn your beggar into a prince or a princess. With no work.

If enlightenment is the way they describe, then it should descend on you…

But, between you and me, the “water” experience or my “two” experience could be called the real enlightenment… the starting point of an arduous and long journey, climbing up on the Tree of Life.

The Buddha didn’t do it. Osho didn’t do it. “Jesus” didn’t do it.

Enlightenment not considered the starting point is false gold. An insight.

And insights are worth a dime a dozen.

A good tool keeps on giving, and giving, and giving

skills, they keep on givingWhen you find something good, then hold onto it, make it your permanent tool or partner.

How do you know if what you have found is a good thing?

This can be in any area of life, health, wealth, love, and fulfillment.

Here is how you know that something was a good purchase, a good bet?

  • A good thing keeps on giving.
  • A good thing doesn’t just give you one time, or for a little bit of time. It keeps on giving and giving, maybe even indefinitely.
In another word: what is good is useful. Long term. Keeps on giving to you.

Continue reading “A good tool keeps on giving, and giving, and giving”

How hard can it be? he said while grinding the gears

Countries, people, soul corrections, have different attitudes to doing things. 1

Hungary (country), Finish What you Start (soul correction), England (country, ethnicity), especially, have an attitude of “How hard can it be?”

And they fancy themselves all-knowing, all-expert at everything.

My brother calls this the “do it yourself” culture.

And utter disrespect for people with experience, education, expertise. Or for skills, expertise, experience, and learning.

I worked as an architect in Hungary, for 11 years. Every client knew everything better. They considered me their guy who puts the stamp to their plan so they can get a building permit.

My brother was in a different profession, and his experience was the same: no humility, no sense of what it takes to actually be good at something, to see things fully. Continue reading “How hard can it be? he said while grinding the gears”

How Queen Elizabeth can teach you a lot about life, and how to live it successfully

There is an arc to this article… I arrive to the answer after a journey to it, in the second half…

What is the reason that some people learn and grow, while others stagnate?

I read an interesting sentence in an old marketing book:

“Generally we don’t decide we want to get married and then pick the person who seems to be the most desperate to get married and propose to them.”

In that document, TheMissingChapter, the author talks about selecting a business to pursue, but what he says applies to any aspect of life.

  • If you are desperate for money… banks won’t loan you any.
  • If you are desperate for love… it will elude you.
  • If you are desperate for success… you’ll make all the wrong decisions.

Desperation is a very poor advisor, it makes you incoherent.

The worst mistake a service provider can make is cater to desperate people.
Continue reading “How Queen Elizabeth can teach you a lot about life, and how to live it successfully”

Wrestling back the steering wheel of your life from…

Wrestling back the steering wheel of your life from ADD, frustration, depression, anger, and more

“It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.”

Of all the 10 starting point measurements, the most telling is your TLB score.

It tells me, and it tells you, how much discomfort you are able to experience and not run away mentally, emotionally, or physically. And therefore it tells you whether you can have the good life, health, wealth, love and fulfillment… or not.

Its activating mechanism is below your conscious awareness, and is quite habitual.

In modern parlance they call it “Attention Deficit”… but it’s B.S.

As long as there is no structural difference between an ADD person’s brain and a person who can stay planted… attentive, it is more a habit than a disease. Continue reading “Wrestling back the steering wheel of your life from…”