Become all you can become by raising yourself higher on the Tree of Life

How to see a painful incident differently, even after years

In our ‘Reframing Challenge’ suddenly being laughed at, or snarky remarks have come up to reframe.

The challenge is to not take it personally.

In the homo sapiens world everything is personal. They are laughing AT YOU…

Here is an example when a person is bigger than that… and how that scenario looks from the sideways view. This is from Reddit.

The thread starts thus: I set the timer on the camera then fell running to get in the photo. My family’s reaction…

Here is the picture the camera took… Click on the picture to see it full size…

I laughed with that family, and it felt soooo goooood!

Continue reading “How to see a painful incident differently, even after years”

They snatched defeat from the jaws of victory

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I know, I know. the saying goes differently: they grabbed victory from the jaws of defeat…

But, in my experience, most people, myself included, give up hopeless, before they could get to victory… some as soon as they would start.

If I had to point out one secret to my longevity, both in life and in business, I would point to this shift: that I can now hang in there beyond the point where I used to grab defeat from the jaws of victory. Continue reading “They snatched defeat from the jaws of victory”

Why self-control is the ultimate linchpin for humans

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I worked on food and nutritional deficiency lists this morning and I noticed something interesting:

I felt resentful because what I want, what I like, what I think don’t matter when I muscletest.

And when I do those lists I need to give up acting on what I like, on what I want, and surrender my hands, literally, to Source, to Life, to whatever… Continue reading “Why self-control is the ultimate linchpin for humans”

What do you like about me? What don’t you like about me?

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Today is December 18, 2016…

I went to my chiropractor today: my neck was stuck.

I took a ride with the community center van. On the way back the driver of the van gave me feedback on myself: eager. As in eager beaver… busybody, annoying, rushing people.

I was already waiting outside when he came to pick me up, and I was waiting for him outside the chiropractor’s off ice when he came to pick me up. I meant to make it easier and faster for him, but that is not how it landed… obviously.

Ugh. That hurts…
Continue reading “What do you like about me? What don’t you like about me?”

Reframing… take the Precious I out of the picture

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A student of mine gave me access to a course he bought that teaches psychiatrists to reframe the client’s story so it hurts less, or maybe doesn’t hurt at all.

Reframing sounds really simple: look at what is happening or what happened from a different angle, with different eyes.

The most important element of reframing is to step out of your persona, step out of your ego, step out of who you consider yourself to be. Continue reading “Reframing… take the Precious I out of the picture”

Self-control or Self-discipline? Which one is missing?

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It’s hard to believe that such a little thing, an innocent sounding activator would hold a huge size building of misery afloat…

Most people, myself included, would not guess correctly their linchpin.

And they would work on whatever they find most at fault.

And they would add to the weight of that huge building they built.

I bought and used those ‘original’ activators on myself, 20 years ago.

I was young-ish and arrogant. Continue reading “Self-control or Self-discipline? Which one is missing?”

What’s is it that if it were there life would be different?

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What’s missing that if it were there life would be different? Your life, not all of life…

In yesterday’s article I said everyone has a keystone. A keystone that if you remove it, the whole arch, the whole construct of your life falls. The construct of the life you lead that is not going anywhere.

So I offered to muscletest that keystone for people.

I admit that first some of the results were unexpected. But after the result of the muscletest it was like ‘of course! that is what’s been missing!’

Self-control missing has been the most unexpected result.

Continue reading “What’s is it that if it were there life would be different?”

Self-Control, Flexibility and emotional intelligence

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Our current worldview is as if we are backseat drivers, at best driving next to the driver.

All we can do is

observe
react
hope
suggest
protest
resist

but ultimately we feel we have nothing to say in the matter of where this life is going. That is our current view of the world.

Continue reading “Self-Control, Flexibility and emotional intelligence”

What makes you so angry that you can’t control yourself?

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What pulls you out of your equilibrium? What makes you so angry that you can’t control yourself?

One of my students has fits of anger. Her life is going from anger to anger, with no chance for a break.

Now, I could be condescending, I could be unsympathetic, or helpful and compassionate. But I find it more beneficial for everyone involved, including you, if I share with you what I have done.

As a rule, I use my own life, my own experiences, as a laboratory, a test laboratory, to shed light to what happens to people when they are angry, resistant, unwilling, or any one of the frequent ways of being. Continue reading “What makes you so angry that you can’t control yourself?”

A version of confrontation therapy… unkindness

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I had the most potent medicine served to me today in the form of two comments on my site. I got served what I regularly serve… unkindness.

I always thought that unkindness is a how… but maybe there is more to it.

Maybe unkindness is speaking, unkindness is doing from what you know.

And if what you know doesn’t agree with what’s in front of you, then you say whatever you say, and it’s unkind. Inconsiderate. Uncaring. Continue reading “A version of confrontation therapy… unkindness”