Become all you can become by raising yourself higher on the Tree of Life

How you look at a thing makes all the difference

Sometimes I get up in the morning and then do maintenance stuff on my computer, of play Freecell, because there is nothing that is pressing me to write about.

As soon as I look at myself playing Freecell that it is a process I trust to bring up topics I could write about, within a game, 3-4 minutes, a whole topic emerges.

It was there, it just needed to be called.

Last Saturday I had a tech teacher of mine on my 3-wishes workshop. I invited him, I comped him in, and he came.

I treated him special, and he got to see something about himself that he can now deal with. He saw that his fixed way of being with nearly anything is that he is resentful… while he could be grateful. Continue reading “How you look at a thing makes all the difference”

What makes you should on yourself and others?

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What makes you should on yourself and others? The ‘should racket’, the invisible dynamic: you assume there is agreement, that things should be in a certain way

Joke: Why do violinists put a handkerchief between the violin and their shoulder? So they don’t violin on themselves…

Not many people play the violin, but we all should on ourselves. some more, some less.

I should already know it, I should already do it well

Some people can’t learn… and therefore they are stuck. We could even say: most people.

Let me ask Source how many. 70% of humanity has the affliction, the disease of the mind I highlight in the title of this article, I should already know it, I should already… [fill in the blanks]

Shoulding effectively prevents you from learning, let alone mastering anything. You are afraid to do anything in public, for fear of people finding out that you are not something enough to already be the best. Continue reading “What makes you should on yourself and others?”

You live in an illusion… like The Matrix… And you are not happy…

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In a workshop yesterday we spent some time defining REALITY. what must be present, what checkboxes you must tick for what you see to be reality… and everything that is not reality is illusion.

It was a first for most people… Reality is one of those words: foggy, undefined… amorphous. In the Starting Point Measurements I measure to what degree you are accurate with your vocabulary, especially with words like ‘reality’. Most people are at or below 10% accuracy.

We came up with four criteria… and there could be more.

Reality:

1. collective: everyone should be able to see it
2. there is only one reality and it’s the same for everyone
3. reality doesn’t change over time. The interpretation may, but what happened happened. Continue reading “You live in an illusion… like The Matrix… And you are not happy…”

The Upside of Your Dark Side. Your shadow is your gift

I am reading the book “The Upside Of Your Dark Side”.

It’s about living a full life, being a full person, being fully in your power.

This is not the norm of the day… We have become comfortable, and comfort means the elimination of discomfort… duh.

It sounds wonderful, but it isn’t.

It leads to an “un-full” life, where you have no tolerance, no use, no place, no room for unpleasant things, unpleasant thoughts, unpleasant feeling.
Continue reading “The Upside of Your Dark Side. Your shadow is your gift”

If I ever do that to you… shoot me. Please…

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How do you know what is advising you to do something or another?

I am sitting here. My assistant is AWOL.

I imagine myself in his skin, in his head, to identify what’s happening, so either to have compassion, ruthless compassion, or straight anger as a reaction.

I get more than I have expected: I get an insight.

He, most likely, heard something. His mind said: ooh, ooh, yeah, that’s it! This is the solution to all my problems! I am going to do that! and with that he abandoned all his responsibilities, and ran for the low hanging fruit, or whatever it was that he saw in his mind’s eyes that can finally be his. Continue reading “If I ever do that to you… shoot me. Please…”

Your dark side is your deepest source for joy, contribution

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I have heard that your dark side is your deepest source of joy, fulfillment, yada yada yada, I have even taught that… but alas, I forgot what I said, I forgot why it’s so.

So in this article I’ll try to remember 🙁 … in my usual meandering way.

OK, first step: I google it:

Your dark side means that you have shadow aspects of yourself that you don’t want to look at and even less you want consciously work with them. Instead of facing your dark side from the place of presence, you ignore and suppress the parts of yourself that you dislike.

I call that ‘Face the Tiger‘… and teach it in the course of the same name. Continue reading “Your dark side is your deepest source for joy, contribution”

What is YOUR Dark Side? What did I say about that 6 years ago?

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What is YOUR Dark Side?

Mine is, definitely, feeling like the only one who can be trusted. If I cannot be the only one… I am not even interested. Messiah complex… lol. Very funny.

What I need for this Dark Side to prevail is people who are not able, not willing to rise to the occasion… in spite of all my efforts.

I spent last week in that space… I am the only one, bah-bah-bah, sob-sob, hate-hate.

I was watching it with curiosity, not with resistance, and it left. On its own. It could not survive observation, it could not hide because of curiosity.

This is true for anything from the Dark Side… it can thrive, run your life, only if it is not observed with sober eyes. Or amused… Instead, it is resisted, it shouldn’t be, etc.

As long as you can’t find yours, you are still either completely unaware, or are in denial about it.
Continue reading “What is YOUR Dark Side? What did I say about that 6 years ago?”

Feel powerless? What will it take to become powerful?

I have been observing that someone from Tallin, Estonia, a former Soviet Union country, has been spending time on my site.

And then in yesterday’s email, Vishen Lakhiani from Mind Valley announced a new masterclass: Unconditional Self-Love.

I don’t know what his wife is going to teach on that masterclass, but I know one thing: it will be, most likely, really beautiful, nice, heartwarming, and utterly ineffective. Why?

Answering that why is what this article is about… what they won’t teach you at Mindvalley. Continue reading “Feel powerless? What will it take to become powerful?”

Are 30 day challenges worth doing? Are 66 days better?

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Somehow it seems that 30 days are almost enough to establish a habit… even though other reports say: it takes 66 days.

One of my old students who had not participated in anything I offered for 8 years now, decided to join the Validation Challenge.

The discipline of doing something daily and get daily feedback on how that action worked started to create a miracle.

Some people surrender to discipline, some people welcome it as an accountability device, others continue doing what they always do… which is either doing nothing, or doing something that is based on some misunderstanding. Continue reading “Are 30 day challenges worth doing? Are 66 days better?”

Name it and claim it… or how to return to power

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Is depression chemical?

I have been depressed about half of my life. Sometimes depression lasted weeks, days, sometimes it lasted years.

There is depression that is caused by some disappointment, tragedy, loss. If I remember correctly, that is called ‘Major Depression’.

The kind of depression I deal with sneaks up on you like a morning fog, and you don’t really notice it until you can’t see past your nose.

It is a sense of hopelessness.

Some people with a depression issue have manic periods, I don’t.

I have periods of less hopelessness, and more hopelessness. Continue reading “Name it and claim it… or how to return to power”