Become all you can become by raising yourself higher on the Tree of Life

Good relationship? Relationship mastery for relationship

This is what I have been trying to avoid all my life…

Everyone and their brother says that connecting with people is the area of life where you have the most pleasure and happiness, and the most discord, and unhappiness.

Given my childhood, I am afraid of people, I am afraid of pain, and I am very reluctant to even have people around me.

Too much pain… and yet, surprisingly, I do crave unstructured human interaction, to a small degree.

Especially at times like this… Life is too hard for us… lol. I stumbled on the ebook this morning: “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want To Leave”

Continue reading “Good relationship? Relationship mastery for relationship”

Can’t see the forest for the trees? What is astuteness?

Distinction vs examples

One of the reasons you are not as astute in life is because you can’t see the forest for the trees.

You can see the example, but you cannot see the distinction.

But why?

Seeing patterns is a higher function of the brain, and needs to be developed and nurtured. I call this astuteness, or the using the astute capacity.

Continue reading “Can’t see the forest for the trees? What is astuteness?”

The Matrix… one method of the Matrix is confusion…

Just for clarification: the Matrix is the same as the Chicken Coop in the novel, White Tiger…

As a mad scientist, my job is to distinguish the “things” that are in your way of direction, in your way of clarity, and to devise ways for you to go around them or through them. ¹

One tool that has proven invaluable is isolation. Isolating what you want to see. Seeing it by itself. So you can see it for what it is, in all its glory…

In nature, to our eyes, things are grouped, things are undifferentiated and solid.

Your language supports that too… everything is the same as everything else, except not always. ² That is how we see. We don’t see boundaries, we don’t separate out what we want to see, we always see things together. We say: it IS… but there is no “it” and therefore there is no “is”. If we said: It seems that … then we would be closer to reality… but we don’t say that. That would require humility.
Continue reading “The Matrix… one method of the Matrix is confusion…”

Measuring Self-Esteem distortion: how accurate is your self-evaluation?

The new measure I am including in the Starting Point Measurements is Self-Esteem. Or more precisely: how distorted your self-esteem is.

Esteem, the word, comes from the Latin appraise, estimate, measure the value of, the size of… through French and Middle English (as a noun in the sense ‘worth, reputation’): from Old French estime (noun), estimer (verb), from Latin aestimare ‘to estimate.’ The verb was originally in the Latin sense, also ‘appraise’ (compare with estimate), used figuratively to mean ‘assess the merit of.’ Current senses date from the 16th century.

So Self-Esteem is how you think your size is compared to others, compared to a standard.

80% of the people, who have a distorted (inaccurate) sense of themselves, overestimate themselves. This also differs by countries… a lot. For example, Koreans underestimate themselves, and therefore work diligently to measure up.

Not surprisingly, countries with the lowest Ambition number are highest on the overestimation scale… “If I am so wonderful already, why should I want to be more wonderful… says the unconscious culture of these countries.
Continue reading “Measuring Self-Esteem distortion: how accurate is your self-evaluation?”

If you don’t know what high vibration is…

You hope you have high vibration… but what if you don’t know what high vibration is?

I am getting hundreds of requests for Starting Point Measurements. That includes me measuring your vibration… human vibration, vibrational frequency, whatever you call it…

Ultimately there is one thing in common among the emotional responses: disappointment.

A lot of people think that their numbers, their vibration should be higher. Why? Because they are good people. Because they are charitable, kind, nice, don’t kill puppies, and volunteer… whatever b.s. is considered high vibration nowadays.

But the vibration number shows one thing and one thing only: how much your behavior is informed by reality and how much is informed by b.s., rules, myths, ideas, that ignore reality.

And your vibration number is low. Continue reading “If you don’t know what high vibration is…”

Own what owns you. Owning it means: you allow it to be

Own what owns you. Whatever you allow to be allows you to be.

One of my favorite movies is M, a 1931 German thriller by Fritz Lang.

At one point in my life I wanted to have a life about movies. I didn’t know I was an empath, but I knew that I got a lot more depth out of movies than anyone I knew… and I knew that I had some unique ability to say something that was new, about every movie. Continue reading “Own what owns you. Owning it means: you allow it to be”

Ambition versus Desire… Why ambition has become a dirty word, and who does it serve?

I spent yesterday reading the novel the 1997 Dutch film (Character) was based upon. Of course they changed a few things, and the film left me in deep quandary. The title didn’t make sense. The whole dynamic didn’t make sense. So I read the book.

Most movies’ ending is clear… this is probably only the second movie that left me with questions: WTF just happened? The other movie is the 2002 Chinese movie “Together”.

Anyway, I read the Character book. It was written in 1938.

I did learn what the title was about. And I learned a lot more.

This article is not about the movie, this article is about what makes a man a Man. Continue reading “Ambition versus Desire… Why ambition has become a dirty word, and who does it serve?”

Is it worth it?

This question, “is it worth it?” can be about doing something… something that is not immediately pleasurable, not immediately profitable. Certain soul corrections consistently answer this question with: “it isn’t worth it.”

But how about buying something? How much should something cost, to reflect its value to you accurately?

On the surface this question sounds so true, so smart, doesn’t it? After all you often have this sneaking suspicion that things are overpriced! WTF, right?

But if you look at value versus price comparisons, you ultimately need to look at through a different question: through whose eyes are you looking?

Let’s look at an example. I hope to shed light to the difference: Continue reading “Is it worth it?”

People who make fast and good decisions, go further in life. Success loves speed

Since the last article, I’ve kept on poking at simplicity… and the idea of decision making came up… fast and furious. I didn’t expect it.

Like everything else, this rabbit hole is a mile deep, but I can see that the benefits of seeing what’s there are priceless… People who make fast and good decisions, go further in life.

Success loves speed. ³Risky career moves, what-was-I-thinking relationships, and just about every ’80s fashion trend–most of us have made bad decisions in our lives. And while we’re supposed to learn from our mistakes, living with the outcome of a bad decision doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re immune to repeating it.

Getting caught up in the “what worked before” mindset or being too impressed with your own success are common pitfalls.“

When J.K. Rowling sent the first Harry Potter book to U.S. and U.K. publishers, they all turned it down because they knew what wouldn’t work: What didn’t work was a book of that size. What didn’t work was a book for boys. What didn’t work was fantasy, ” Hertz says. “What it took was a new director who was new to publishing to buy the book.”

Look at your history.

Continue reading “People who make fast and good decisions, go further in life. Success loves speed”

If your life isn’t working as well as you think it should…

Thinking that your social status, your finances are a reflection of your value is a myth that can render you, your status, your finances low, if you are not born privileged.

I just read an article about the myth of meritocracy and how it hurts kids of color, in The Atlantic, and I found an answer to my question: why my Black students don’t do as well in life as one would expect of them, based on their abilities. Or women. Or other minorities… Or just regular people brought up mainly by women. ⁴

This post will get at this issue from different vantage points, so hold onto your hat… or you’ll lose it.

You may remember the principle that made T. Harv Eker a millionaire?

If things are not going well, it is a sign that something you don’t know.

Now, what he doesn’t say is that the thing that you don’t see is profound. It is a principle. Or a distinction. Something big. Continue reading “If your life isn’t working as well as you think it should…”