Become all you can become with Sophie
He that won't be counselled, can't be helped
The opposite of Life is a conversation is you living in a world of objects, being an object. An object. Ugh. I don’t want to be an object. But if you look, you ARE treated as an object, by nearly everyone nearly all the time.
People don’t look at YOU, they look at your body, your clothes, your hair… but not YOU. Continue reading “Heaven or hell… same place, same people… the difference:”
Let’s talk about identification a little more… the identification that gives you the illusion that you are a person, but in fact it what is standing between you and becoming a person.
So what is a person? A person is someone who has a consciousness, a Self, that guides their actions, their relationship to life. When you ask: who is he? show is she? what comes up is not what they do for a living, what awards they won, how well or poorly they do their job… but something deeper and constant… They are that everywhere, on the job, in the public, in the bedroom… everywhere.
If you identify yourself with stuff on the periphery of your being, on the horizontal plane, what you say about yourself, what you want people to know is that you have won an Emmy, three time…
Or that you have had HIV for twenty years going
Or that you are gay
Or that you are black
And alas, it leaves you with no Self. The stuff you identify with has no consciousness, and have no defining power on your character.
Continue reading “What is the difference between persona and Self?”
Dear Sophie:
I just watched this interview with the author of “Never Split the Difference.” It’s a book about negotiation techniques. The author is a former FBI hostage negotiator. I found it quite intriguing. My head was spinning just trying to keep up with the conversation. Afterwards, I was left with very mixed feelings. It seemed to me that my desire to learn more about these techniques was rooted in greed and a sense of wanting to learn in order to win or manipulate. Whatever the feeling, I am not comfortable with it; it was not a pure feeling. I have a different idea about communication, one having to do with connection, more along the lines of Steven Covey, ” Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood,” and Dale Carnegie, and the Communication Course. Maybe I misread the author (without having read the book). Maybe my aversion to learning negotiating techniques is related to my resistance to A is A. I am curious to know the truth value of the material and the intention behind it.
Continue reading “Negotiation, enrollment, differences of opinion, arguments”
I am a watcher. I watch people… I keep a tab on them. I am like a watchdog.
I watch about 30 people every day. Why? I keep my finger on the pulse of the world this way.
One of these people has been my hero for about a decade. I won’t say his name.
Recently he got married. His vibration promptly dropped 120 points. His reality is now shaped by the new wife and her speaking. Continue reading “Does your speaking create reality, a reality you don’t want?”
One of my struggling students sent this to me so that I can share it with you.
I take this concept way beyond this level in my programs… but I can’t build on air…
So if you want to do my courses, and succeed with them, do this first. It’s half hour instruction and weeks of practice… like everything worth having, it takes practice, it is a process, and you cannot jump.
I did everything he suggests about 30 years ago… when I first did the Communication Course…
I paid $530. This is about 30% of that course, and you can get it for free.
I listened to it… and it is valuable. I don’t teach as well as this guy… so I don’t mind that you’ll learn this from him.
Watch the videos. You’ll love them. Continue reading “The kindergarten, elementary school of integrity”
We throw about big words, and we pretend that we know them. Even ‘scientists’ only pretend. If they didn’t, they would be explaining, clarifying the words, but they don’t.
In the Starting Point Measurements the vocabulary number is what indicates this. I originally intended to call this clarity, but then I decided that if it refers to words, then maybe it can be instructive.
It hasn’t been.
So this article will be, mostly, about words. Continue reading “Vocabulary and it’s connection to conscious awareness”
Many of my students and clients have a tough time dealing with people.
No amount of technical skills, no amount of business savvy, no amount of education matters much if you are not able to get along, and communicate with people, whether they are your family, friends, customers, co-workers, or bosses, clients, potential clients…
As is becoming quite customary around me, we all need the same things to learn about the same time…
And that is: how to communicate effectively.
Continue reading “Everything you ever wanted comes to you through people”
As I was looking for a picture for this post, I realized that vibration, raising your vibration, as a topic, probably has more bullshit out there than even food…
I can safely say that EVERYTHING you find is that… b.s. and has nothing to do with vibration, or consciousness… So maybe this article is a little late… but better late than never? Continue reading “How can you tell if someone is high vibration or just pontificating?”
Today I am tired. I am in and out of bed, I need my rest.
Why am I so tired? I lead a session of the From Upset To Communication course/workshop, an experimental course with no curriculum, except my commitment to take you to a place of living in the flow.
It is possible. I did it. But not with what you already have.
People, maybe you, my students, hope that we can have a life like that, without some pain, maybe a lot of pain.
What is the pain about? Well, it is the pain of loss.
Continue reading “The counter-intuitive path. Teaching pigs to fly”
The Mindset book is the perfect accompaniment to the Reclaim coaching program, and the From Upset To Communication course where we learn the fields inside which all of life plays out.
I have questions coming at me that shed light to misunderstanding of what this work is about. What the course is about. What the program is about.
I have asked for this type of questions. I have asked my student to share with me what they are getting, so I can see where they are off… where I was off… what it is that is misconstrued, misunderstood, or not understood in what I teach… It was a great idea, because unless I know what you got, I can’t help you.
It won’t be easy to share it, so please advance to me some compassion: I am walking on some uncharted territories.
Hi Sophie,
I’ve re-listened the call and here’s what I got up to now about fields (if I got it 🙂 :
Fields are an energetic, dynamic space where you (need to) move/go intentionally-consciously so that you can communicate with someone who is already there so that communication flows/leads to a win-win outcome.In other words, you adjust yourself and ‘switch’ fields according to ‘needs’/situation/circumstance no matter what your usual/’default’ field is (does something like default field exist)
And all that you can do when and if you develop such skills first? And these skills is what we learn in the course?
English is her second language, but here is my translation:
She is asking if the course is to teach you to manipulate yourself, until you can get to a place where your can have no strife… where you please the other person, so they don’t kill you… lol.
No. None of my work is about manipulating, or even changing yourself.
That is the forceful approach to life… the approach that cause wars, fracking, and presidents like Trump.
Strong-arming things, people, yourself.
What is underneath is this: There is something wrong. Something wrong with you, something wrong with me, something wrong with it.
So it is a fixing modality.
Whenever you fix something, the wrongness doesn’t go away, it is there, because it is the core of your being.
The action that takes you to Expanding Human Being is becoming.
The reason we use the worm to butterfly analogy, because no traces of the worm can be found in the butterfly, not physically, not emotionally, not spiritually.
Arrogance cannot be fixed: it will remain in every fixed form.
Forcefulness cannot be fixed: it will remain the core of every fixed form.
Becoming is like the seed needs to die to become a plant.
You cannot wrap your mind around it. It is beyond the mind.
I know people with a ton of knowledge but no distinctions.
Distinction is a new way of seeing the world. A becoming.
My job is to cause becoming through seeing the world differently. Through distinctions.
It is like balance: once you get it no one can take it away from you. But if you haven’t gotten it, you can’t get it through explanation, through reading; you have to go through the process of falling and stumbling until you get it.
This is the main reason that humility is the human capacity to all becoming. Humility means: willing to go through what it takes. And experience what there is to experience while going through it.
No jumps in becoming. The mind doesn’t help. Reading doesn’t help. Only going through does it.
Here is a post inside our Reclaim program, that may help you to see if you belong to this second group:
I am really in an unfamiliar place. A place where the majority of my conscious time is going towards my plans. I honestly feel like I’m in school again. I’m saying this because I hope that my behavior is a reflection of a greater degree of humility.
Where Tai refers to some guy who says we have about 50,000 hours to get it all done, I pause. Now, I realize the number is relative, but it highlights the importance of staying with the pursuit. I surely don’t know how much time I have.
On another note, there’s something that is bugging me. Forgive me if I mess this up, but if humility is about the seeking of knowledge and not the getting of it, could it be that I and others are lacking the foundation for seeking? It occurred to me that I may not possess something necessary to be a great student. When you said to those of us in the Upset webinar that ‘you are not in the class,’ I was dumbfounded.
Then later, I got more of what you meant, but giving myself to something is mostly a foreign approach. Even as I am taking on about as much as I can, at this moment, I feel scarcity saying: hey, there’s only so much you can do in a day so…. I guess what I’m getting at is: maybe there are levels in the depth of humility that I can take on as I learn to manage my life better.
I even realized that sometimes I ask you questions that you refuse to answer, and rightfully so. However, I didn’t know that I was avoiding doing my own work. I’m not sure I know what questions are appropriate to ask you. Is there a guideline I can use so that I don’t ask you questions that are not for you to answer?
This second way of being off… is fear based.
Actually, even the first way is fear based, but the reaction to fear was different there: it was aggression. Here is hiding, cowering, trying, whimpering, backing away from what feels threatening, unpleasant, or a waste of time.
Intellect can be actually in the way.
I had the moment clearly when I got my first distinction. It was taught by Werner Erhard himself, and you could hear that he was struggling, intellectually, himself. You could hear that intellect was trying to take him off.
He was attempting to distinguish two. The number two.
The first distinction that alters the rest of life…
For Helen Keller, it was “Water” that created the birth of the paradigm: words. That words are a symbol, a stand-in, for a thing real, a piece of reality.
The moment she got that, she wanted to know the word that was saying: tree, house, me, you.
The movie “The Miracle Worker” (1962) does a great job at capturing the process, capturing the moment.
For me, the distinction “Two” became my “Water” when Werner held up one hand and said “Two”.
It was one hand. One hand. One hand and no second. One hand and in all around there was no hand… no second…
And when I got, hand and no hand make two. hand and everything else make two… I got distinction.
Now, was it easy to “get it”?
I don’t think so. I had to be there to have my mind blown. There was one other guy and myself who got it.
But that doesn’t mean YOU can’t get it. But you have to let your mind be blown.
That is humility in action. That is growth mindset in action. Becoming. Growing a set of new eyes.
Everything else is hoarding, fixing, explaining.
Change.
The more things change the more they stay the same…
Humans’ imagination in inventing false, fake becoming is inexhaustible.
And because people really would like to become, the fake becoming paths sell like hotcake. This is the secret the gurus, spiritual teachers, more money teachers, more love teachers, more time teachers capitalize on.
None of them teach you how to become, in fact they haven’t done the work themselves, they use the tone of voice, the right words that sound like they have become, but they are fooling you, fooling themselves.
And that’s why you feel like you should get a magic potion to turn your beggar into a prince or a princess. With no work.
If enlightenment is the way they describe, then it should descend on you…
But, between you and me, the “water” experience or my “two” experience could be called the real enlightenment… the starting point of an arduous and long journey, climbing up on the Tree of Life.
The Buddha didn’t do it. Osho didn’t do it. “Jesus” didn’t do it.
Enlightenment not considered the starting point is false gold. An insight.
And insights are worth a dime a dozen.
