Become all you can become with Sophie
He that won't be counselled, can't be helped
From time to time a student or client confides in me that they resent being told what to do.
I find that really funny, especially when they paid me well for telling them what to do.
But such is human nature… or is that human nature?
This question is what this article is about. How do you know it is you and not some addon making your decisions for you? Continue reading “Who and what is making your decisions, your attitude, your behavior?”
It’s Tuesday, and my Rob Brezsny horoscope arrived this morning.
It addressed something I wanted to address, because it is important: treating yourself well by providing yourself with what you need to be well, to do well, to feel well.
You treat your pets better than yourself.
If you were only judgmental and stingy with others, that would be one thing. But you are stingy with yourself.
You judge yourself harshly, you treat yourself badly, and you skimp on yourself first.
Consider yourself your own child, or your own pet? And your relationship, your treatment of it public.
A lot of people, in private, abuse with impunity, but would not dare do the same in public, or when someone can see it. They fear judgment. Continue reading “Is happiness even possible? Is self-hate, self-punishing a good path to it?”
Ignorance: ignorance is a two part notion: not knowing with a certain attitude. 1
A child who goes to first grade doesn’t know how to find another country on another continent on the map… and yet we don’t call him ignorant. He is in the process of learning that… maybe at fifth grade.
But if he doesn’t wash his hands after he uses the bathroom… we will call him ignorant.
Why? because ignorance is not knowing what you could be expected to know, given your age, your education level. Or not knowing what you are talking about and talking anyway.
Continue reading “Ignorance: what is under the cover?”
In my quest to find like-minded people, who want to better humanity, I am watching videos, and am exposed the feelings of the speaker, commentator, or whoever is in the video.
What prompted this article is a bout of weeping… for no reason.
I am sitting here examining the context inside which this happened, and I Have had no reason to be sad, to weep. Continue reading “What is the purpose of life? how to live it on Life’s terms?”
One of my favorite quotes from an ad is from the Men’s Hair Club… where the owner says: “I’m not just the president of Hair Club for Men, I’m also a client!”
I would never want to do business with anyone who is not also a client of their own business…
And of course, I am a client of my own. Meaning: I learn from what I write… and I learn and test everything first, before I recommend it…
With that said: to date the two most valuable nuggets I got out of my participation in my 67 step coaching program are:
Continue reading “If the mountain won’t come to you, go to the mountain”
Starting tomorrow… at 4 pm.
Why it is nearly impossible to change… unless…
Landmark Education has a process for leaders called clearing.
Clearing is probably the most effective tool to, at least temporarily, allow for change.
Clearing is saying, listing, everything that is in the way of change… with the intention to question its trueness, question its validity.
People watch you, listen to you, and depending on their own attitude, they hear dumping, they hear gossiping, they hear complaining.
But the intention, the wording, the tone of voice is all serving one thing: so the current personal reality, the inner map, disappears and allows space for a new reality to be spoken into its place.
Continue reading “Take back your power, take back your freedom, take back your peace of mind”
This is a hypothesis that will need to be confirmed with tests. I could also say: it’s a hunch.
And my hunch is that the less trustworthy you are the less trust you have. Period.
Hah, but trust, as a verb, is transitive.
So let’s see what COULD you trust, if you did:
The more you are a scoundrel, a stinker, a liar, a cheater, the less you trust yourself.
Continue reading “Why don’t you trust? Why can’t you trust?”
This article shows the state of official science for emotional intelligence.
Psychologists are not interested in the groundbreaking work developed in the books Feelings and Words…
Although when you can already recognize your feelings, their inner dynamics, what they want you to do, what trap you my have stepped, unwittingly, the advice below is quite good.
Until then I don’t think it’s useful… Or may not be useful.
Even though emotional intelligence is really important to live a good life, to have good relationships, to get things done, to be well… for all of life. Continue reading “How to Develop Emotional Intelligence… what do psychologists say?”
As I promised, the next step in creating your life that discouragement is only a rare guest in, instead of a tenant…
I am going to start with a somewhat gossipy story: my conversation with my mentor, Gyõzõ Margóczi, the brilliant engineer who wrote the books “Feelings” and “Words”.
I suggested that he thinks about developing a feedback device, that gives you valuable feedback on your feelings… because being in touch and understanding the dynamics of feelings is the hardest thing for a regular human.
And everyone is a regular human… 🙁 Continue reading “The original sin… how you can stop paying, how can you stop suffering?”
My father was never discouraged. Not that he didn’t show it… he wasn’t discouraged. I remember him having doubts, whether something could work, but not discouraged. Discouraged means having lost confidence or enthusiasm; disheartened.
So what did he have that most of you don’t have?
Let’s see first what discourage is on the level of feelings, and feelings dynamics? Because unless we know how a feeling is born, at the end of what process, we have no idea how to counter it. Continue reading “Discouraged often? Having doubts doesn’t mean that”
