I hope by now it is getting a little clearer: an activated ability, an unlocked ability is useless until you need it.
You create opportunities for needing the new ability by “putting yourself in harm’s way”, meaning any activity where you can fail, where you can be proven to be less than, stupid, look bad, etc. unless you use your new ability. What activity? You’ll be surprised that also any activity that fits the criteria.
The process is called “actualization” or said in another way, making it real, making it working, making it show itself.
Most self-help programs, especially extreme programs, work on those… bringing your hidden and unused abilities to the surface, to work. I experienced that in many: fearless, self-trust, the sight all got revealed to me, and given a workout. Maybe more… I haven’t done any of those programs in a long while.
Actualization… Actual… as in real. Real for you, real for others. The opposite of actual is imaginary. Maybe even potential. but not real. 1
Like with anything, digging for a well when you are thirsty is often too late… Activating abilities, energetically, the thing I do, is like digging for a well.
One of my clients I have written about a lot, has just inherited his father’s company.
He expected that he would either buy the company or inherit it… years ago.
I was working with him, then, to install “ownership, which is an ability to look at everything as yours to handle, your to see…
The crucial ability to make anything work, including running a company.
He wasn’t thirsty at the time.
I worked with him on integrity: he wasn’t thirsty at the time.
I worked with him on seeing the consequences of his actions, seeing what others experience with him.
He wasn’t thirsty at the time.
He is thristy now. So thristy, that he is willing to throw money at the problem…
But here is the problem: money will not suffice… he will have to, eventually, face the piper, face the tiger, and start becoming an owner, not just on paper.
An owner of the company, an owner of his actions, an owner of his life.
It will be painful, guaranteed.
Because, even though I have unlocked a ton of abilities for him, he hasn’t put himself in the position when it is do or die… you swim or you sink.
And supporting him, remotely, is not my best capability: I actually have no clue how to make someone start, if they have never done anything that I can build on.
He has the abilities… maybe not the smarts, but the abilities are unlocked.
What would you do if you were me?
Can you give me some ideas?
Hi Sophie, Has your Client explored inventing an inspiring context?
Not yet. Haven’t asked him, but I will. Thank you.
Maybe
Maybe he can work with a current employee of the company. Offer the employee something in exchange for his help & brainstorm ideas.
Together maybe they can add value to the company by finding a way to expand it with something that holds his interest.
It sounds like your client is trying to do what he thinks is logical since his father’s death. He may also believe it is the proper/right thing to do, but it doesn’t sound like his heart is in it. He seems to have backed himself into a corner and is panicking now.
If he really wanted to “own” it, wouldn’t he find a way to get there?
No Ronda. Owning is a very high capacity. Most people have an employee attitude: victim, needing someone else to provide them with what to do and how to do it.
Less than 1% of the population has it. And you don’t really get it through finding your way…
It is a capacity that needed to be activated…
My experience is that capacities build on each other. But even if someone has the supporting capacities, if they haven’t been actualized, then they are as if they didn’t exist.
Even though I have activated about 20 capacities for this gentleman, he still is 70 activations away from the top.
Now, does he actually need me to do work on him? No. He now has all he needed. He signed up to the Reclaim, but if any of his past behavior is any indication, he won’t do the work, because he isn’t understanding how to do any of it… doesn’t feel it, no idea.
Like a lot of other people in the world.
Reading the article a thought crossed my mind: …and what if it just isn’t HIS ‘element’?
Maybe deep inside, he doesn’t really want to do it…
well, on some level he wanted something, because he wanted to buy the business from his father. But you may be right: what it takes to run a business is not something he’ll enjoy.
Unfortunately, muscletest says, the business cannot be sold profitably, because it is a seasonal business, and because it is more like a job for everyone involved…
I haven’t a clue what I could do to help if I were you, but surely he needs a business mentor on the spot to show him / put him through some moves. This guys Dad could have been his mentor/groomed him but perhaps didn’t work so well. I imagine lots of fear could freeze him up.
My thought was a business coach as well.
His father was the type: treat them as dirt… so he treated his son as dirt. Not the type of “mentor” I imagine as a good mentor.