Context is like meaning… it is not part of what it is referring to, it is added to it, by a human. And if it is added, then you have a lot of freedom about it: if you can see, that is.
Most people can’t see the forest for the trees… so if you are like that, you won’t see context, until you look deeper. Beyond the obvious. Beyond your automatic. Beyond your machine-like, conditioned, pre-determined ways.
Why context is decisive, and what it decides if it is so decisive
I have been repeating and repeating this idea, that context is decisive. Finally, yesterday, I managed to get it through, or so it seemed, on the Playground.
Context is the hidden part of everything, the hidden agenda. Everyone has hidden agendas, some more than others, some time more than other times.
Some hidden agendas are OK with us, others: not so much.
Here are a few examples:
- Someone offers you to help. They are helping, for no pay, for years. You start not appreciating their “gift”, you start that dark feeling in your stomach: why are they doing it?When you ask, they say something lofty, but it slips out: they want to go to heaven by helping someone downtrodden.
Now you know: they have the context: they are better than you, and they feel better than you, more than you, almost well… because they are helping you.
Horrible feeling: every time you talk to them, it is their agenda to keep you low, so they can maintain that they are better. - You join someone’s team. It’s business. They ask you why, and you lie… you say you love what they do, or something like that. But the truth is: you wanted to find out what they did so you can steal the idea, the process, or something.
Context answers the question Why?
As you see, the context answers the question: why? To what end? What do you really want to get out of doing this?
There are two types of contexts:
- default
- invented
Your, and anyone’s default context is selfish, underhanded, coming from ego or coming from desperation. Using other people because you don’t have enough… this type of contexts. The type you would not want to share with people. The type you need to hide otherwise no one would want to do anything with you.
- You take courses for the wrong reason.
- You go to school for the wrong reason
- You get married for the wrong reason
- You move, you decorate, you buy stuff for the wrong reason.
Wrong reason, because the reason is not on the side of Life. It is to avoid something, or to get something that belongs to someone else. To use people. To dupe people. To avoid people seeing the truth that you don’t care about them. Many wrong reasons are uncovered in the Playground.
Then you lie. And lie. And lie. And your well-being goes down, your inner harmony disappears, because you now have to hide.
Invented Context
Invented context is something you design to give meaning to what you do. It may be the same activity, exactly, and yet it is now on the side of Life, and you start to thrive.
How is that possible? Seemingly nothing changed, right?
But inside, everything changed!
Here is an example from yesterday’s Playground:
You decide to take a walk every day. Then life interferes, you get busy, and you don’t want to take the time to walk… something seems more important than that.
Your children remind you that you said you would walk. You lie. You feel bad. Your energy level drops. The important thing is now not going well.
What happened?
You are now a liar.
OK, yeah, but deep inside the issue is really the context.
The original context was that walking is good. But that didn’t carry the day, didn’t have enough energy to get you up from your butt. Now you are mad at your children, guilty, messed up.
It is time to create a new context! One that is on the side of Life, where you have a reason to walk that is uplifting.
This is what we came up with: You love your children. You want to spend quality time with them, outside of what you have to do with them, time when you can have fun, unstructured, loving. Walking is an excellent way to have that time. You can explore, talk, sing, laugh, listen to stories… creates a stronger bond, clears your anxiety, your tiredness, it is a lovely break from the humdrum effortful life you live.
Now, when you children remind you that it is walk time, you can go to this context, and even though you are tired, even though running your business seems like the first priority, the context returns you to the idea of recreation, reconnect, to Life, to yourself, to your children.
So nine out of ten you’ll go… and you won’t have that “I am a liar” weight to carry.
Here is another example:
You decided that you’d go to a social gathering. You feel a fear coming on. You fight it, you run from it, you start eating, shopping, go to sleep.
What is the context? The context is familiar. It says: I can’t! It really yells it…
What new context could you invent? A context that is on the side of Life, that would allow you to grow as a human being?
You decide to invent that fear is a great opportunity to practice the idea that your mind is a radio station, and you can choose not to listen to it? That if you identified yourself with The Watcher, then you could do anything!
So you practice, and take the fear with you to the gathering. You don’t fight with it, and you don’t listen to it. You allow it to be there.
You meet new people, and you find out that you are a lot of fun… how long has it been? How many years?
The simple magic of changing the context.
In the Nazi concentration camps the prisoners fell like flies when they only had the default context. The one that was obviously there: life is hopeless, and life is full of suffering. There is nothing to live for.
The ones that invented a context for themselves, lived. “I’ll live because if I die no one will write those books!” “I’ll live with dignity, no matter what anyone will do to me. I will even die with dignity, because I am a human being!” “I’ll live so when this is all over, I can see my beautiful life and have children together!”
Here or there: the default context is on the side of Death.
Learn the skill and art of inventing a New context.
You can start in the Itch webinar. There are some more sessions, don’t miss it! I used to sell these for $250… but because I do it in groups now, you can get it for 90% off. And I have even gotten better since… Definitely!
If you are not sure if it is the right fit for you, or if you are not sure if you trust me with your life (hey it’s a big thing! I don’t take it lightly!) come to a free call-in session, it’s like a meet and greet, and decide. Next Monday, November 3, at 4 pm. That often means that if you have a job, you can’t come… but then again, most of my classes are at 4 pm, to accommodate my students from Europe. If you can’t come to this one, then you won’t be able to come to my classes either…
If you would like a weekend class, during the day, email me to let me know. I am known to accommodate requests, whenever I can.
OH, one more thing: changing the context is the ultimate tool to get unstuck… Change the context… and watch life unfold differently
