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I had a heart to heart with Source today. I wasn’t happy. Source didn’t care… lol. What is Source? It seems that it is the Source of all ‘light’, life, of everything on the side of Life.
The conversation was about what Source considered well… What Source considers good.
Homeostasis, ess… and growth.
Source has been recommending changes through muscletesting. But to my dismay Source has been considering what you, as an entity can tolerate, what you as an entity can bear, not what I would say you need to get where you want to get to.
That is the difference between Source and me. I am a human, and although I think I care, I probably don’t really care…
And I look at things from the limited perspective of the human mind…
Source knows that the body wants to be in homeostasis… in every way, including psychological and chemical ways.
And turning the body around is a trimtabbing proposition, not jerking it into place.
A surgery, the removal of a tumor, or even chiropractic adjustment are jerking. Jarring. Trauma. Pull the body out of homeostasis.
Occasionally that is what you need. Occasionally. But few can deal with it. Of the people who could have a near death event 90% die instead.
So Source recommends, instead, the smooth ride, the trimtabbing kind of ride.
When you decide on an action, or your coaches, or your government, the actions you attempt are jarring, disruptive, and don’t lead to the results they assumed the action will lead to. Just look and you’ll see, historically, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Take massive actions, shouts Anthony Robbins… and he is WRONG!
You join masterminds, courses, workshops that are way way way out of your league. Same thing.
So Source says: start where you are.
Work with what you have. Do the best with what you have, where you are. Bring it to a level where you can gently add capacities, skills, that you can handle.
Do that on every level, and you can move that way up on Jacob’s ladder. Or the Tree of Life. In health, in abilities, in self-expression, in a life worth living, every step of the way.
HONORING the vehicle’s desire to always be close to homeostasis, close to ess.
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One of my newish healing clients has her original issue recurred. She has been feeling it, but didn’t say a word. I had to feel it.
She is puzzled. Because she doesn’t get colds, or when she does the cold is gone in a day. She thinks that that is the sign of a strong immune system. But it is a misunderstanding of the immune system.
Just like muscles, the immune solders need daily exercise…
…or they will become complacent and weak. So you want to live and train your immune solders daily.
One way is how I do it: I keep my apartment cold. I expose myself to freezing air a few times a day. I have runny nose, need to clear my throat. And when it is not enough, I drip hydrogen peroxide into one of my ears.
Why? Because the popping sound acts like the alarm of the fire station: all volunteer fire fighters leave whatever they are doing and head towards the fire station.
You do it once or twice a day, and your immune system gets more sensitive, and will catch more of the bad guys before they can settle in and clump together to kill you.
What in your way? What is stopping you? Arrogance, of course. You feel that attending to pedestrian stuff like that is below you.
And then you die. But before you die you have, if you are unlucky, a decade worth of intolerable pain.
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I have been dealing with a meme, a mind-virus, that clients want to live by: making a difference, thinking of others is a good, honorable, very good thing. If you go to Quora, half of the stories are ‘feel good stories’ of do-gooding and do-gooders.
Nature, Life, the order of things, is that your job is to take care of yourself first. Second. Third… and then come other people’s needs.
I am not talking about the ‘desire for the self alone’ kind of taking care of yourself and your needs. No. I am talking about you doing what you need to do so you can be well.
Osho said at least one true thing: for love to be authentic, it comes from the overflow.
You need to be filled with love so much that your cup is overflowing. Love for yourself, love for life, love for living, love for existence.
Offering love before that is a pretense and is inauthentic. And it is killing you.
The same is true about everything: unless you are so taken care of that there is no room for any more, then you can start giving away the overflow. Not before.
I used to believe that you had to… And that taking care of myself is selfish. And I was so miserable I contemplated suicide. So why didn’t I do it? Because I thought it would hurt others. I even sacrificed myself for others in that regard.
That is when I first read the three lines from Hillel. Hillel was a very wise dude who lived about 400 years before the destruction of the Temple, 2400 years ago.
He asked: If you are not for you, who is for you? If you are only for yourself, who are you? And then he asked: if not now, when?
I remember being completely shaken up by that.
If you are not for you because you hope that others will take care of you: how do you feel about yourself? Like shit, right?
I remember hoping to be rescued… If someone rescues me then I am worthy.
And of course I never took responsibility for getting into trouble. And that was my specialty. If wasn’t my health, then it was my money. If it wasn’t neither, then it was my reputation.
And all through that I was the hapless victim, waiting to be rescued.
I did this until one day I realized that ‘mother’ isn’t coming. It took eighteen years between first reading Hillel’s lines and the realization.
The ‘culture’ celebrates self-sacrifice… a victim act. Self-immolation, to use Ayn Rand’s word. That is self-burning…
A victim’s only means of protest: a glorious? death.
DISGUSTING!
Unnatural. Spitting in the face of Life. And the ultimate arrogance.
Unless you respect Life, Life won’t respect you back.
Your job in life is to be for yourself, and create overflowing.
The average level humans are is 1% of that overflowing.
Now, here is a twist: if you consider taking care of yourself is taking care of your ego, then, of course, you are misunderstanding Hillel.
Ego is not interested in Life
Ego is not interested in Life, in YOU, in you being well at all. It is only interested in comparison, sitting at the highest place, force, coercion, climbing over others.
Desire to receive for the self alone… at another person’s expense.
When you take care of yourself, you don’t take care of the ego, your Self and the ego are at cross purposes.
So when you judge, when you disrespect, when you demand, when you ignore, when you take… you are ego’s slave… AND unhappy. AND wretched. A welcoming home for cancer and other deadly diseases.
When you take and take and take…when you give and give and give… you are a flunky of the ego.
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Yesterday I had a call with a dude. A dude who has never done anything with me before. It is rare that I’d even take a call like that.
It put me on the spot.
What would be the most expeditious way for someone with big enough dreams to get ahead in this work, with this work?
I came to the realization that until and unless a person HAS at least one distinction, anything I teach, anything I provide has nothing to connect to.
Everything will be just words, and words compete against even louder words of the culture, of the ego, so it is just a lot of talking. Inner and outer.
But a distinction, when you have it, actually alters what you see, alters what you hear.
When I was nine years old, my parents discovered that I can barely see. So they took me to the optometrist and I got a pair of spectacles.
Having a distinction is like that: suddenly you see.
And no matter how much culture jabbers, and ego shouts in your head, you now see, at least one different way than everybody else.
Distinctions are hard to teach, because words don’t teach it. Had the optometrist told me anything I wouldn’t have realized that I wasn’t seeing.
So distinctions need that flash of lightening when suddenly you see.
This is what happened to some of the participants in the Drink your Food challenge. They SAW that they are not present, in the light of being present to the taste, the texture, to the chewing.
Two of the ten participants.
Now, that’s great. But what happened afterwards is what is most important.
Now that they had one distinction, they have a home… I know this sounds weird, but it feels like now you have a place to stand, and as Archimedes said: give me a place to stand and a long enough lever and I’ll turn the world around.
When you have a place to stand, a toehold
When you have a place to stand, THEN but only then you can now GET other distinctions… while without a place to stand, you are floating stork shit traveling with the rising and falling air.
One of those two people got ‘Self-ish’, the other got ‘respect’.
As a distinction. Now they both have two.
Distinctions are the currency of life. When you have enough, you HAVE life, instead of life having you… like a bobbing beach ball on the open sea.
Distinguishing is an example of the Anna Karenina Method… you need to be more aware of what something isn’t, than what something is.
One of the distinguishing elements of that first distinction: being present, is living life in a hurry. When your mind is on the next thing, so what you are doing is something to get through, not something to experience fully, engage with fully, enjoy fully… Whether it’s food, illness, a hug, a book, a question… life feels as if it is not there but somewhere else… so you hurry.
The hallmark of cancer sufferers is living life in a hurry.
I make no money on the Drink your Food challenge… but the potential reward for me is invaluable: you may get your first distinction… You may get a new access to life. And that is worth it for me.
So unless you are happy to be unhappy, unless you are happy to be wretched, unless you are happy to never become all you can become, sign up and work on it until you get it.
Get presence: your first distinction
