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Here is MY own opinion, before I share what Redditors say…
It is easier to find a ‘good person’ nowadays than a good company. Companies want to tell their users, their customers what they should want… and as I am saying that, I am not an exception either.
My current issue with my blog… that the creators (wordpress) want me to think like them, work like them, whether I want to or not is infuriating. There is no ‘we’. There is me vs all the others… antagonism. OK, rant over… here is what Redditors have to say:
There is a discussion on Reddit. The trigger is a question: What is a subtle sign that someone is a GOOD person?
First I cracked up from that word ‘subtle’… lol. Do they mean ‘not flashy?’
There is a lot to learn from the thread of discussion.
They say the number one sign of goodness is inclusion. Inclusiveness. Having and offering a sense of WE, offering others a sense of belonging. I don’t know about you, but that is grossly missing from my life. I just discovered that the reason I watch my neighbors because it gives me at least a tiny sense that I am not alone, that there is a humanity out there, living, cooking, and doing all kinds human things. Belonging is really missing.
So what is a good person? They ‘care about more than just himself, or even his people. Caring about even people you don’t know. Knowing what they care about. Have room to care about what only another person cares about.‘
Here is a story from the Reddit ‘thread’
The rap group Clipse came out in like early 2000s and had become huge superstars. I met them as a kid in high school after one of their concerts ( at a car show ) I brought my own sharpie for them to sign my cd and when I left their table I realized I had lost my cap. I walked around for 20 min with a marker in my hand and eventually I saw Clipse again and one of them said ‘yo little man I got your cap’ and he held it in his fucking hand for over 20 min, walking around and singing shit for people . What an absolute good person
Here is another thing Redditors say: when they are with their people, or children: are they ‘considerate’ to the outsiders, or to the children. Priceless and rare:
Another share from Reddit:
Throughout college I worked at a hotel, valet parking cars and helping people get checked in. It was a famous Beach community in California, so we got tons of families, and tons of tourists from all over. One thing I will always take with me from that job, was watching the difference in parenting between American and European parents.
When the kids started acting up in the lobby or during check-in at the front desk, American parents always immediately resorted to scolding their children, yelling, demanding, threatening to take something away..etc, in an effort to not slow the front desk process or waste the time of the employees. (I am American, this is how my parents were, so I never thought anything of it).
But when European families would come in with rambunctious children, tugging at their parents shirts for attention while they were trying to check in, the European parents would often say ‘excuse me for one moment’ to the desk clerk, turn, kneel down to their child’s eye level, and compassionately ask them what was wrong? Genuine respect and communication towards their child. It blew my mind. I made a mental note of it, and decided that is the type of parent I want to be.
Not how my brother and his wife were with me when I last saw them.
They invited me to a restaurant meal. I ordered some pasta dish that arrived cold, the butter was frozen on top. I called the waiter over and asked him to warm up my plate. He took it away. But then my brother treated me like I made him look bad, like I was a bad person.
He never invited me ever again, and I experienced being less than dirt in his eyes. That my only worth is to make him look good.
So I don’t even want to talk to him again. Ever.
Why am I sharing these subtle signs of goodness?
Because when you are good, in this way, you feel better about yourself.
When you have a WE, when you include other people in your desire to receive, life is much much better.
It is almost alien to the human race… otherwise there would not be a Reddit thread on ‘subtle signs of goodness‘.
‘They don’t speak badly about people who aren’t there. They use tact and restraint that I find enviable.‘
The ‘3rd Phase’ activators are about these rare but essentially human capacities that you either have or you don’t.
If you have them, you are a happier person.
- If someone wrongs you and you can forgive them… then you can have joy, and love, and all what makes life enjoyable…
- While if you hold on to the anger, the fury, the vengeance, you are a brittle old maid… no joy, no love, and life is drudgery.
And old maid has no gender… men and women are equally likely to hold grudges and kill their own spirit.
The mistaken view is that your anger will hurt another person. That a desire to receive for the self alone will be good for you. That you’ll get more.
I say it is mistaken, because the opposite is true.
When I love, when I am kind, when I am generous, when I am humble, my world is bigger and I am bigger.
I feel better about myself. And when you love yourself you love you life.
You may want to unearth, unconceal, uncover for yourself all the ways you are possessed or driven by evil, the only evil there is, the ‘desire to receive for the self alone’. I have found that looking and comparing myself to ‘Golden Rule’ Jones of Toledo in every area of life will show all the ways evil still runs me. Do I really live like ‘What I want for myself, I want for everybody?’
Kabbalah literally means ‘How to receive’.
If you wanted to master 30% of the art of receiving (Kabbalah) without immersing yourself in Hebrew and esoteric stuff, start mastering that ‘golden rule’: what I want for myself, I want for everybody.
The more fully you master that, the happier you become.
If your ‘desire to receive for the self alone’ today is to be important, to be considered special, to be well, whatever, then acknowledge and validate someone else’s desire to be important, and at the minimum don’t resist, don’t resent, don’t block it. They have as much right to it as you think you do.
But unfortunately, although human genes are ‘designed’ like this Toledo dude’s, when you really look, yours seem to be different.
You hope that being angry poisons the other. You fear that when you allow another to have, you’ll have less.
So you don’t allow. You keep on being angry poisoning yourself.
That is the human condition, that you can lift yourself from… if and when you activate the fundamental human capacities included in the 3rd Phase activators.
When I did that for myself, many years ago. I paid 2300 dollars for the system. It came in a big binder.
I bought it only because I hoped that it could get rid of a growth on my arm.
I remember I got it the day before a Peak Potentials course in the Peekskills… so I took the binder with me. The Peekskills is about a four hours drive from where I live…
When I arrived, instead of socializing, I went to my room, and started on the activators.
I had the most visceral, most horrible response to the kindness activator, so I settled on doing that first because I knew that which didn’t agree with me was my keystone state.
I felt completely justified to be the way I was with people. I was a victim. I was superior. And they were just noise.
I found out that that is an unkind attitude. I didn’t know.
Interestingly the process purged my sense of being a victim. It also lessened my sense of superiority. And increased my empathy: which is caring about what others feel.
I was an empath, I felt what others felt, but I DID NOT CARE. I had no empathy. Only anger.
I am still talk in a way that feels unkind to others, but it isn’t fueled by my anger of having been a victim. It isn’t fueled by my superiority. I do care… some of the time.
‘I don’t care’ is my soul correction.
That was the first sentence I learned in Hebrew when I immigrated to Israel. Lo ichpat li…
Today I care 70% of the time.
When I muscletest it for my Forget Thyself clients, their caring number is 1%.
While I shame a lot, while I am harsh a lot, it doesn’t come from not caring, or not really.
I care too much. I hope that I can wake people up to their choice by pointing out where they are not all they could be.
Because that is, shaming is what works for me… Obviously it doesn’t work for too many people… I think that like your belly is awakened by a gentle caress, people could be awakened by gentle caresses, but I don’t know how to do that… Love has languages, care also does. And my expression of love and care is somewhat brutal…
So not many people respond to my not so gentle hammering.
Many people prefer to respond to lies, pretenses, because they respond to what resonates with them, with what they have in their hearts. Lies.
So I work with the people who respond… and I allow the people who just want what I offer but don’t like me to be around…
But it is hard work for me to allow them. I have to work at it.
Every other day I want to purge my email list. Every third day I want to lash out and work with only the handful who want what I have and also want me.
There is a principle I want to live by: ‘go to where you are celebrated, not where you are merely tolerated.‘
So if you read my articles knowing this, you’ll notice that I talk to the people who are clients. Who not merely tolerate me, but celebrate me.
And this is how I manage to stay in integrity. Because I am true to myself, and also I am true to my standards and ideals… My principles are also my standards.
Anyway, if you ever wanted to be more harmonious inside, if you ever wanted to have more joy and less tension, start activating the base human capacities, the 3rd Phase activators.
But, alas, there is a fly in the ointment, so to say.
To get the result of the activation, to actually activate the capacities, you need to be able to connect to Source, at least on the first level while you are being activated.
To help you be sure that you are doing it right, or to help you to even connect for the first time, I am scheduling connection clinic calls… starting this coming Monday at 1 pm EDT.
That is 7 pm in Western Europe, and 10 am in California. 7 am in Hawaii. And 1 am in China.
If you’d like me to schedule calls in a different time, or on the weekend, please email me.
In the meantime, you can register for the Monday call. The calls will be on the gotowebinar platform. If it is new to you, then start early.
Here is the link to register. It’s free.
PS:
The baby-sitter is the most important person in your babies life.
Choose wisely. pic.twitter.com/69FLIIfq76
— Lauren Witzke (@LaurenWitzkeDE) March 30, 2023
