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I had the most potent medicine served to me today in the form of two comments on my site. I got served what I regularly serve… unkindness.
I always thought that unkindness is a how… but maybe there is more to it.
Maybe unkindness is speaking, unkindness is doing from what you know.
And if what you know doesn’t agree with what’s in front of you, then you say whatever you say, and it’s unkind. Inconsiderate. Uncaring.
Is it inconsiderate of the feelings of the person? Maybe. But more than that, it is inconsiderate that when you speak from knowing, you relegate, you push, you declare everyone as less than you.
And that is what hurts.
You are a stomping giant, and everyone is stomped upon, and feels like an ant.
Now, does it have anything to do with the truth value of what you know?
No. You can spout complete and utter b.s., or brilliance, or godlike knowledge, the unkindness is the same.
So what would make an unkind person potentially kind?
Just so you know, I am muscletesting everything I write here, so I am not disseminating b.s.
It’s not humility. It’s not even looking in reality. Hm.
Instead it is speaking from ‘reality: collective hunch at best’.
The ‘don’t be so sure you know’ place.
The intelligence thing Charles Bukowski said: ‘The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.‘
Muscletest says that I am often stupid in this regard. And therefore what I say is unkind.
It happened yesterday.
I had a private call with a student who is struggling.
It was infuriating. I didn’t understand how an otherwise intelligent woman can be so dense.
I did what I say one should do, and went back to her first incident, and then it became clear: she has been trying to do what she thought her father wanted her to do… and, of course, it’s impossible.
Here is the incident, the facts. And don’t tell me I have already shared this before. I know I have.
She was little, maybe in kindergarten. They had a running race. She ran and won. She ran fastest of the little kids.
At dinner she shared, proudly, with her father that she won.
The father asked: what was your time? She didn’t know.
Now, the facts of the story are meh… You could argue: why would the father ask a question like that of a kindergartners, and you would be right. But you would miss the point.
She felt that she missed something. That unless she knows everything, unless she is in control of everything, then she is nothing.
I have never had a client who decided that. So it’s taken me a year to see it.
See that she cannot simply do something, and do it well. Like she was running back then and won. No, it is not enough.
She now needs to know and handle all the ins and outs of running, the history of all races, the breathing, the muscles, all the intricacies of running… or she is nothing.
Of course I am not talking about just running. It is everywhere.
But when you are reaching for everything, you can’t end up with something in your hand… it is too much.
And that was the moment when I could have offered compassion. And some teaching from compassion.
There are so many ways to be ineffective, but this takes the cake.
Because it is based on a 3-year old little girl’s misunderstanding her mindless father’s question… and trying to FIX IT ever since, to disastrous results.
You can only pay attention to one thing and one thing only… depending on your cone of vision, it may have more than one moving pieces that are relevant to what you intend to do. But either way, narrow cone of vision, wide cone of vision, the thing you are paying attention is just one thing.
If and when you try to pay attention to more than one thing, you fail.
Example: if you run and you try to pay attention to the time, the scoreboard, you stumble. If you run and try to run faster, then you can just run faster. No need to worry about the time.
Or if you are trying to connect to Source
Or if you are trying to connect to Source so you can get an activator, the kind of activator that needs you to be connected while you are getting it, then that is all you need to pay attention to. Not the activator, not how differently I taught it in another class, not whether your spine is flexible enough to turn on the switches… no. Pay attention that your tangerine spot is buzzing. That’s it. Easy peasy. Really.
Interestingly most people are the opposite of this client.
They put no amount of energy into anything. She puts too much too wide.
Anyway, I wanted to write about unkindness… and I ended up writing about something else.
I wanted to write about the woman who loves disseminating her ideas to me and my readers telling me in her comments what would make my life and my work better.
She does it exactly like I say it in the unkindness: without having any doubt. She knows what I do wrong. And she knows and is firm about what I should do that is right. And it feels like as if I’d swallowed a hand grenade.
Am I like her? Horrible thought… but now I know what to pay attention to.
If unkindness is coming from being sure of knowing, then maybe kindness comes from allowing that what you know may not be all there is to know, what you know may not be true at all.
Maybe that is why back in 2004 when I first used it it made such a difference. I knew I could not be sure… Today it’s harder. Too many proofs.
I bought those 11 energies because I had a angry cancerous growth on my arm. And I desperately wanted to get rid of it, without surgery.
I didn’t know I’d been unkind. But the moment I did the activator I knew. And I wept. And I grieved. I felt regret and remorse.
And the more I felt what I felt the smaller the growth became. And in the end the growth fell. It left a white spot on my arm.
But back then I didn’t know, couldn’t see that I was unkind because I knew. Because I was sure.
Humility came later.
Now, let me talk about something I have probably never really talked about.
Let me talk about the activators.
There are different kinds.
When I first conceived the idea of activation, in 2011, I didn’t know much about anything. I only knew one thing: that to be really human, you needed the capacities to feel human feelings, you needed the capacities to do human things… in a human way.
Not just say you do, but actually do and feel.
Humanity got a lot worse since 2011. I am glad I am not starting now… I probably would not start at all.
But back in 2011 I did start.
So what were my ‘maybe I know, maybe this works’ pieces?
- 1. I had managed to connect to Source, whatever Source is, and establish a two-way communication with it.
- 2. I tried and succeeded with the Healing Codes… even though the modality is flawed to the level that it may be said to be fraudulent. The energies do nothing in the modality, the hand positions do nothing in the modality… So everything that happens there, if anything happens, is a result of the mind. The will. The intention.
- 3. I studied and did every exercise in the books of the Theta Healing lady., I found that if and when one can connect to Source, what she teaches can actually work.
But I also found that her method to teach to connect is ineffective… so none of the students, none of the practitioners connect. so the results, if any, are placebo… like in the Healing Codes. the result comes from the mind.
But I got real healing from both… BECAUSE I connected to Source.
So when I created my first activators, the ‘word based activator series’ I used what I learned, but I made sure that the recipient was connected while getting it. At least while they were on a live call with me.
Connecting is not difficult.
There are three levels of connecting. And to GET the activator, you need to be connected only on the first level. You need to activate your Tangerine Spot. Easy peasy.
Students over the years, who accepted that it is simple, that it is easy, that it is no big deal, have flowered, and can muscletest, can connect to feelings, can have capacities come alive and be used.
Students who thought: it can’t be that easy, like my students above, the little girl who ran… they think it must be more complicated, and therefore they never even start. ‘There must be more to it’ they say, and give up.
The third phase activators are word based…
When you listen to the words while you are connected, (your tangerine spot is buzzing) go directly below the water level, into the other than conscious, and start making changes there. Subtle changes. And because the changes happen there, not in the conscious, the changes reflect in actions, in feeling, attitudes without thinking. Eventually.
Depending on how flexible you are, the changes will happen faster or slower. I am very fast energetically, and it took me two weeks, daily, an hour each day.
The first ten days were like torture… it actually hurt. Every fiber of my being protested.
If your body is not protesting, you are not connected.
You are listening with your mind and you nod… There will be no changes. Make sure you stay connected. Things sound different to you when you are connected… to the conscious mind the sentences are stupid, or inane, or obviously true, but to the other than conscious they are like invisible hands that rearrange you inside.
How do I suggest that you go about the activators?
Pick one and do it until your life shows the changes. Not how you feel, but what you do and how you do it.
Instead of, like my client, try to grab it all, pick one that is important to you, and succeed with it before you continue.
In my experience one spiritual capacity open is all you need to start really growing spiritually… and thus in your life.
Here are the individual activators in the 3rd Phase. Obviously I picked Kindness, because that was my stumbling block. You should pick what you think is YOUR stumbling block.
The whole course of the 3rd Phase
- 3rd Forgiveness
- 3rd Goodness
- 3rd Healthy Beliefs
- 3rd Humility
- 3rd Joy
- 3rd Kindness
- 3rd Love
- 3rd Patience
- 3rd Peace
- 3rd Purposeful Action
- 3rd Self-Control
- 3rd Trust
Get the whole course… even though I recommend one-by-one
