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Your life is decided at around age three. Until that point you were totally unconscious. Your first event when some consciousness is present happens in an incident.
One of my clients ran a race then. I assume it was kindergarten. She won. She told her father. And instead of getting what she expected she got something else: you could have run faster, his father said… unaware of the how his words would be understood.
She heard ‘I don’t measure up’ to some yardstick in the sky. And she decided that the solution was to pretend that she is trying…
Trying…
Trying means that you are not doing. You are putting up a show, both for yourself and for others benefit… But in essence, you are only claiming that you are doing what you said you are trying… but not.
Whatever you are trying to control controls you. That which you try to dominate dominates you.
When I say force or forceful, I am mostly talking about those.
Resisting is one of those trying… you are trying to dominate.
Even if you just try to hold it back what you are resisting. Even if you are just trying to avoid the domination of it.
The only way to be free is to resist nothing.
Not your should. Not what is wrong. Or what you don’t like. Nothing.
The less things you resist, the less of the time you resist, the more time is yours to use as you wish.
Doing what you do to avoid doing what you don’t want to do… is resisting.
Learning to resist is slow and arduous, but can become, ultimately, your most important skill.
But before you can do that, you need to learn something very important: hating something doesn’t free you from it. Resisting something doesn’t free you of it.
Fighting keeps you hostage, instead of doing any good.
I have clients who think that if they just hate long enough, or let go of anything, they will not have any motivation to do anything.
But your hate, your resistance hasn’t been effective… because, judging from your activities and results, you have no motivation whatsoever.
Motivation is not a feeling. Motivation is a force that either moves you or it is not strong enough, or maybe it doesn’t exist anywhere else but in your mind.
I don’t feel motivated… I am motivated.
If you confuse feelings with being you are simply confused. They are not the same.
Feeling curious and being curious: ditto. I can tell from your behavior, from your actions.
Feeling you know and actually knowing… not the same. I have many ‘feeling they know’ clients, that don’t know anything, or not really.
Knowing is a very high state. It took an inordinate amount of work to get there. Practice, failing, mistakes, mastery.
Unless you can teach it you don’t know it.
This applies to everyone… including me.
Lots of things I attempt to teach and no one hears it… so maybe I don’t know it yet.
But what happens when I teach it and someone can hear it? Do they now know it? No, not at all. They could start the process to actually learn it, but they probably won’t.
Why? Because the culture is against it.
You see if you actually knew things, then you would be eminently not dupable… and you would not be a consumer. And what would happen to the sellers?
But if you actually knew things you’d be busy doing good stuff and not need to resist anything.
All that buying, stealing, borrowing is the signs of resistance. You cannot allow reality to be the way reality is…
And if now you will TRY not to buy anything, then you are forcing, and resisting resisting.
To pull yourself out of the human condition takes decades, at least it’s taken me decades.
The less you resist the higher you look at the world from. Or: the higher you look at the world from (your vibration) the less opportunities you see for resistance, the less things to resist.
Why? Because resistance is a sign that you are in direct contact with what you resist, in the hubbub of it, not above it.
Your feelings, your emotions, (they are not the same!).
Shoulds are feelings. Urges. If you claim that you can’t hear them: yeah, probably they are not words.
I FEEL them… no voice in my head. I feel them as an urge to avoid, and urge to resist, a sudden lurch of ‘no’.
Strong.
The less you resist the less you identify yourself as an object. The less you live in scarcity. And the less wanting, needing, having-to and should you’ll have.
I still resist 10% of reality… after 38 years whittling away my resistance.
If you expect yourself to go from zero to 60 in a minute, then you haven’t learned anything, and you think that that is how reality works.
I don’t care what it is that you’ll pick for the first thing to learn, as long as you pick something to learn.
Something to take from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence.
For me the first thing was learning the guitar at age 13. Not the violin (if you have been reading my articles you know the story). I took the violin to conscious incompetence. It took me a whole summer.
But I started the guitar with having had an experience of how long it takes, what it takes, and how it feels.
A few years ago I visited a dude who had a guitar. I picked it up, and could play one of the classical pieces I took to mastery… as long as I didn’t look at my hand.
My muscles remembered, but the eyes dared to differ.
And once I had one experience of unconscious competence, then I could just approach EVERYTHING that way… pantomime, English, architecture, French, Hebrew, driving, energies, healing, feeling.
If I didn’t list it there, I am probably not there yet.
I have written almost six thousand articles to date. Am I unconsciously competent? No. I am not. I still need to bring conscious competence to it.
Same with teaching, eating, moving, sleeping, and a lot of other things I am not unconsciously competent about.
So if you want to put yourself on the path, pick something.
- Unicycle? OK.
- Cooking? OK.
- Letting go? Excellent.
- Recognizing resistance? Beautiful.
- Feeling their feelings? Wonderful
Just pick something and start with bringing what you are unconscious about to consciousness.
I just removed two people from the Reality Challenge. Why? Because they don’t think bringing the shoulds to consciousness is important. How do I know? They didn’t send their should list daily to me.
For most people the Reality Challenge would be the one thing they can take from unconscious incompetence where they are controlled by the urges either by resisting them or by obeying them… to conscious incompetence.
What they will do after that to get higher? I don’t know yet.
PS: If you have a vision of yourself where you are free… but that is not how you feel, you are resisting, forcing, trying to dominate.
I remember when I was like that… I felt brittle.
