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There has been a huge lie I’ve been repeating… unaware that it’s a lie.
I first heard it and have been repeating it from Robert Scheinfeld a long time ago.
The lie is subtle. It hides a fundamental truth behind itself, a truth I didn’t become aware until earlier this week. It promptly took the wind out of my sail, maybe forever.
The lie is: from the limited perspective of the human mind…
The truth is: the human mind never looks. So it can’t have a perspective, limited or otherwise.
The truth is that each person’s ‘personal reality’ is based on an upset 3-year old’s ‘knowledge’ that was never based on any kind of looking in reality. The clueless mode of living as a human. The dominion of the eight billion.
Every single student of mine was already a space cadet by the time the ‘break in belonging’ incident happened. None of them had ever looked, and none of them looked then. They already had some manufactured answer to their question: what happened? by then
And as H. L. Mencken said famously. This applies to every 3-year old’s problem: why did the thing just happened happen? Mencken said:
‘For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong…’
There are a handful of humans, myself included, who asked the question and looked. In reality.
My mother said, as she marched away from me in the street when I was almost 2. ‘You are heavy!’
My mother said, as she said: ‘you are a whore’ when my nanny returned me to her after I was raped at age 3 and a half.
I said: this doesn’t make sense. Let me look what could these things mean?
Here is the case of my closest student:
Her father said: ‘you could have run faster’ when she proudly presented that she won a foot race.
She didn’t look. She didn’t have the distinction: running faster and she still doesn’t.
Instead she ‘looked’ with her mind and the mind said: ‘I am not enough.’
Makes no sense to me, but it makes perfect sense to her, and she has built a life of never running faster, never doing things better, never anything better… because why should she? Instead she consistently does more to compensate for not being enough.
Write to me if you want to read other examples of how it happens for people. I have many more examples.
Now a few words of what’s been going on with me… Horror story that is.
When i started to feel really bad, I did what any clueless person would do, and looked in the mind. Not in reality, but in the mind…
I won’t go into detail here and now, but what I saw in the mind is that I was dying.
Several variations of that…
I went into air silence for the past few days, and I finally looked and what I saw was simple, and all my fault.
My energized water container is in full sun in the winter, and the algae bloom this year has been fast and toxic. So I was poisoning myself with every sip of water I drank. Neurotoxin, whatever that means.
Now that I know, I can slowly eliminate it.
Stupid as the stupid does.
