The single reason most people don’t want to work with me is this: I will rob them of their sob story.
What’s a sob story?
Well, everybody has one… It was born after an incident in early childhood.
Something happened, and you made a decision about yourself, about the world, about your mother.
Some people have interlocking decisions, making the sob story as strong as a Greek myth.
As long as your sob story is intact, you lie through your teeth to maintain it. Why? because, it feels, that with the sob story you’ll die too.
Not the real you, the persona you invented.
As long as the persona is who you consider yourself to be, everything you ever say, everything you ever promise, everything you ever commit to is a lie. You won’t do what you say you will, and that is the truth.
You revel in your victim story, your ‘I wasn’t loved’ story, your ‘I am worthless,’I am not enough’ story.
But most of your lies will be lying by omission. You’ll talk about the bad stuff… and not even look at the good stuff… I know, I did.
In Landmark Education, there is an exceptional course, the Wisdom Course. In that course you make a big book of your life, with pictures. One of the amazing things people discover is that they were happy as a child. You can see it on the pictures!
As many stories as many people, except some people find other things fascinating, so they don’t spend all their time building and strengthening their story.
Your story, what you decided on after the first incident, depends a lot on your soul correction.
You could have the same exact happen to you and come up with a different interpretation of it.
Your interpretation is always wrong. It was made by and upset 3-year old. Narrow cone of vision, very incoherent, magical thinking.
If you don’t have a strong competing interest, you’ll spend your whole life gathering evidence, and punishing the perpetrator. Often it is yourself.
- One person says: my mother didn’t pay attention to me. She loved my older sisters. Why? I ask: because they were prettier. Fast forward 20-30 years. She is still punishing her mother by living a miserable life. And she still spends all her money on getting prettier. Empty life, except for ‘the story’.
- Others decided: I am slow, I am stuck. That makes me undeserving… I have no permission to do what I want to do… I am worthless. I am not enough. I am weak…
Lots of therapists, teachers, gurus see that the story owns people’s life.
People are trying to change what they think about themselves… affirmations, hypnosis, mind movies… but these methods are all misdirected.
Your original decision may have been true.
Your mother didn’t pay attention to you. Your mother didn’t love you. Your mother did think you were horrible, horrid, lazy, stupid, slow, stuck, worthless, or ugly. Your father did think you didn’t run fast enough. Your father did think you were a real pain in his behind.
My mother thought I was worthless, stupid, and the world would be better off if I hadn’t been born.
OK, fair enough.
Until you can say: OK, fair enough… you are going to be run by the original statement.
How does the original statement make you do things?
Let’s look at the woman whose mother loved her two other daughters better.
The woman decided that it was because they were prettier. THEREFORE she will need to become prettier. Or said it differently: if she made herself prettier, than her mother would love her.
But, you see, people do things for their own reasons, and YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!
People live in a life of their own design, most likely a design you know nothing about. A design even they don’t understand.
People, your mother, your father, your rapist, had a sob story too… They don’t know about YOUR story and their part in it. And they certainly don’t care. They are just DRIVEN to live their own drama, their own sob story.
Until you get that your ‘therefore’ will never change what happened, because the original wrong can’t be fixed, you are stuck.
But you weren’t not pretty enough for life. You weren’t too slow for life. You weren’t too stupid for life.
And the world wouldn’t be better off if I hadn’t been born.
No matter who you are, you are proving or disproving something.
It’s your rocking chair. It’s your oscillating structure… I am smart/I am stupid, I am pretty/I am not pretty, I am worthless/I am worthy…
The people who have largely escaped this back and forth monumental drama are the people who are known as the 1000. They are mostly famous… as achievers… as accomplished…
Because they put wheels on their rocking chairs and took it to someplace.
You can’t get rid of your ‘rocking chair’ but you can take it to town.
Unless, of course, your ‘THEREFORE’ is stronger than your desire to go to town, to make something of yourself.
The ‘therefore’ sits on your energy body like a leach. Like an attachment. Like a cancer.
It can be pulled like a weed. Energetically. Like any other attachment.
Pulling the therefore does not pull the story.
It pulls the urge to do the same thing, the same ineffective thing, you decided would fix it. Like getting prettier for the woman in the story.
I can pull the attachment.
Some of you have no idea what is running your life. And you can conveniently rebuild it, maintain it. The misery.
You can’t fix it
So what is the solution? How could you live a life that is not wholly in the rocking chair?
Not possible for a human to live outside of the oscillating structure. But you can start with creating a destination to go to, something that would make it worth your while to attach wheels to your rocking chair.
And then start managing. Manage yourself. manage yourself so you get enough time, attention, and energy for the trip… instead of your bickering in the rocking chair.
It’s easier once I pull your attachment, the THEREFORE.
Pulling your attachment is not a big deal for me, I am a True Empath… but it can be the biggest deal for you.
Caveat: if you have other attachments, I may have to pull them all to get to your THEREFORE.
Find out if you have other attachments first.
PS: here is a video that I recommend you watch: some elements are explained better than I can in a short article
PPS: The eyes… it is all in the eyes…
Your actions have nothing to do with what you think. They have everything to do with what you see.
But what you see is filtered. Skewed to prove your story is right.
You don’t even know, but what you see is not what’s there… your eyes work like a projector, projecting the reality your story needs to remain ‘true’.
So you don’t see opportunities, you only see the same old, same old.
Two solutions for that:
1. close your eyes, re-open them, and look again. Do it until what you see changes. You will. Guaranteed.
2. Get the Big picture capacity combo… humility coupled with the big picture eye movement allows you to suddenly see more, better, different…. like magic.