Change vs. what you really want
We all say we want to change. Change ourselves, our financial situation, our habits.
Some of us only use the word because we don’t know how to say what we mean. But most of us literally mean: change.
But there is a problem with the phenomenon: change. It actually gets you more of what you are changing.
It sounds like an oxymoron. More of what I don’t want? Yeah, that’s right. More of what you don’t want.
The French says: The more things change_1 the more they remain the same
I am going to attempt to teach you something that an auditorium full people didn’t get when I first learned it, some 20-30 years ago.
It was illustrated on the blackboard… but it didn’t communicate: it is better to think it, if you can think, or do it with clay, play dough, or paper and scissors.
Let us say that you have a triangle shape and you want to change it to a circle. Thinkers and paper cutters: you have a triangle to work with. You can add to it to make it a circle, or take away from it, to make it a circle. Play dough people: you can make a circle from the dough… no biggie.
Seemingly the triangle disappeared. But if you look more keenly, it is incorporated into the circle. So the circle is now partly triangle, and partly “not triangle”.
So did the triangle disappear? No, it is still there, in the circle. Bummer, we didn’t change the triangle fully.
When you want to change, what you say, secretly, is that you want to stay the same with some fancy addition, or some fancy subtraction…
It is not going to work, alas.
Why? Because when we talk about humans, we are talking about something a lot more sophisticated than play dough… it actually can and will change itself back to what it was, the moment the pressure is off.
So what can you do if you desire the life of joy, grace and ease? Change won’t do it, with lot of work you will get temporary result.
The way to create anything is to start with a blank slate. With no thing.
You need to empty yourself first. Habits, attitudes, beliefs, as much as you can.
The process is called clearing, like clearing out the attic, clearing out the garage, clearing out an apartment when you move out. The walls remain, the floor remains, but the stuff is gone.
Then you fill yourself up with something new, something created, and even if the stuff wants to come back (it will!) there is not much elbow room for it… the space is already occupied.
In the article of bringing magic to life, I didn’t say how. But bringing magic to life is pure creation. It starts with emptying yourself from the preconceived notions, the prejudices, what you already know “for sure”, to make room for creation.
You can only create from the emptiness of no thing cluttering the space. In “no thing” attitude is included. Emotions are included. Thoughts are included. Ego, personality… it’s all included. Personal history, personal experiences, memories… all included. The space needs to be empty.
What prevents people from creating, in my personal experience, is the inability or unwillingness to create this empty space. The second thing is, also personal experience with clients, students, friends, is the inability or unwillingness to even envision a future discontinuous with the past.
