I am most famous for my ability to distinguish. Distinguishing is a rare capacity, the ability to tell the forest from the tree. It is solidly based on the ability to peel off layers so one can get to the root… and often below the level that used to be considered the root. Layer below layer below layer.
This past week I had the good fortune to go deeper yet again.
I saw that fear covers unwillingness. Gotcha! The problem with fear was that you have no control over it… but if you can find what’s under it, what the fear masks, then maybe you can start having the fear and have it… instead of it having you.
And as I was working on the soul correction “fearless” I found the layer underneath it, firmly keeping it alive as an effective cover, fear.
No one can blame you if you don’t do something because you are afraid, but it would expose you to blame, if people found out that in fact, you are unwilling. Hm.
Now, it’s a victory, but being the distinguishing maven that I am, I was eager to go below.
And on the Sunday Playground call, I finally saw what’s underneath it. It is so common that there is no person who doesn’t have it… and it has been completely invisible to me, to you, because it is so ubiquitous.
One of my students could see that he sets “massive goals” because he is supposed to.
You set the alarm to wake up, because you are supposed to.
You brush your teeth because you are supposed to.
You eat breakfast, eat carb free, kiss your children, go to the gym, get a job, pay your bills, because you are supposed to.
And what is totally automatic is to resist what you are supposed to.
Our nature is to be free. To make our own choices. To have liberty, and to roam free.
Supposed to is like the cage for a bird. It’s what runs your life, in reverse.
You don’t want to do what you are supposed to… but you have to… but there is all this energy of resistance, so when you have anything where you have a real choice of doing it or not doing it, you’ll bring all that unwillingness and you just won’t do it.
But you have to mask it even from yourself, so you cover it up with fear…
Everybody has it, because without some freedom it is near impossible to live.
So you carve out some freedom where you can. And, unfortunately, where you can is also where it’s more stunting to your growth.
Is there a way, a move, a trick, an activator… anything, that can alter this situation?
After all, you’d like to grow, you’d like to be healthy, wealthy, and wise… love, rejoice, dance, enjoy. None of it is possible in the presence of resisted “supposed to”.
The “move” is the next thing you are going to resist, but don’t quit on yourself just yet.
The move is “surrender”.
Surrender is allowing.
Freedom is recognizing your limitations. Recognizing is the opposite of resistance. Recognizing is a form of acceptance, the “f… it, this is how it is, this is what we have, this is what we have to work with…” and then be OK with it.
Resistance is death, acceptance is life.
Most of us resist everything, and we hold our breath… if you have a weight problem, you have a resistance problem. I promise.
And here is the third thing I discovered:
Your soul correction, the main unproductive way you are in life, is just a coverup.
You are stingy, arrogant, judgmental, fearful, etc. etc. etc. (there are 72 soul corrections!) to cover up, to justify for yourself, resisting the “supposed to”.
Now, this supposed to is totally the grease in the 200,000 year old human hard-wired machine… One for all, all for one, no one left out, blah blah blah…
No freedom to be yourself. None. Punished, not tolerated… ostracized or hospitalized is the punishment.
Telling the truth, if the truth is not what others want, is dangerous. So you don’t… but you tell the truth with your moves, and now pay for it with your life, with your health, with your happiness.
Solution: find the truth, your truth.
Make room for society’s requirement… after all you need to be able to live
Make it work for yourself: have your cake and eat it too.
I teach how to have your cake and eat it too… it’s a balancing act, but it’s fun. That’s how I live, and it works.
Oh, and it makes becoming a Human Being, the next level of evolution, a piece of cake. No pun intended.
