The difference between feeling confident and being confident… or how you put your life in the hands of a liar

feelings-are-just-visitors-let-them-come-and-go-quote-1It’s Christmas Eve. Strong Southern wind… unusual noises… and bouts of wanting to weep. WTF? There is nothing wrong with my life, I am not connected to anyone in particular, and yet.

I muscletest if it is the Dark Side emotion transmission, and yes, it is…

Feelings come from who knows where, and yet, YOU are basing all your decisions on feelings. How utterly misguided is that?

If the feeling were: you can do it, you’d jump into an empty pool and break your neck… you and your teenagers have done that driving too fast… haven’t you? Or trying drugs saying: I am stronger than that… and get hooked. Or “one won’t hurt” of potato chips… and end up eating the whole bag.

Feelings are unreliable guidance… the source of feelings is not you, not something that even knows about you… it is outside of you.

waiting-for-good-weatherMany of you are waiting to feel confident to do anything requiring action. Or waiting for the fear to go away…
Continue reading “The difference between feeling confident and being confident… or how you put your life in the hands of a liar”

In life you are either a nerd or a floater, a producer or a second-hander

In life you are either a nerd or a floater, a producer or a second-hander
nerd or floaterAre you a nerd or a floater?

One description I found on the internet is this: a NERD is an individual of vast intelligence and curiosity coupled with a natural knack for academics and discovery.

You not only appreciate technology, biology, and all the other ‘ology’s – you know what they mean and how they work, too! While Geeks are busy flooding comic-cons and using the internet while pretending to know how it works, you are busy coding the damn internet and earning your Masters or Doctorate (if you don’t already have it/both).

Of course the terms Nerd, Geek, and Dork will always have some overlap, but your test results show an innately intelligent individual with the drive and know-how to put you behind the classic horn-rimmed glasses and pocket protector of a well-educated, deeply intellectual N-E-R-D!

I prefer to say: a nerd is someone who has a vision, a path, and skills and knowledge to follow that path faithfully, and diligently.

don't be realistic... evolve!You can be an engineer, an artist, an architect, a cook, a restaurateur, an actor, a furniture maker… and be a nerd… Am I misusing the term? Probably…. I mean, more like the hero of the movie Gattaca… where your natural abilities are magnified by your will and your diligence.

Floaters

Floaters are people who don’t do anything with their lives, or at least they don’t try to. When at work, floaterdo you notice anybody that sits around or acts like they are busy? That’s a Floater. When your girlfriend or wife complains about how nobody does anything around the house and carries on doing whatever, sorry honey you’re a Floater.

If the complainers would actually stand up and put some effort into what they are doing and try to change how they are living, then they might actually spread their wings and take flight.

Hate me? Thank you. I take it as a compliment.

In life you are either a nerd or you are a floater.

The two most important characteristics of a nerd is that they know what is most important to them, and they love it.

I always wanted to be Renaissance man, because for me, choosing, committing was the hardest. I even picked architecture because I had the illusion that architects needed to know everything. And that may be true, that they need to know everything, but it is also true, that they don’t.

And especially they don’t use words to express, and I am a words person.

So I went through five years of university and suffered through 17 years of working as an architect… until I chose and committed to a profession that needed my words…

When you know what is important to you, then it is easier to organize a life around it. Then your life becomes a workshop.

What prevents a lot of people from living a life worth living is that they don’t choose their priorities, they are chosen for them.

By other people.

You become the toothbrush, toilet brush, entertainer, janitor, shopper, dildo: a service provider for other people.

You don’t notice it until there is a conflict. Conflict of interest. Between what other people want you to be, and you want to be.

Holidays are a good time to notice: what you want from your life, doesn’t much matter around holiday time… only what you have to do, expected to do, asked to do, ought to do.

It’s not a special time: it is just easier to notice because pretty much nothing that is important to you, nothing that serves you on the long run, has room in your life around the holidays… whatever holidays, by the way… Be them state holidays or religious holidays. At holidays you find out how much control and say you have about your own life. For most that is mighty little…

Nothing wrong, they should not cancel holidays, I just want you to be awake.

Floaters have never chosen what is important to them. They don’t know. They are just thrown around by circumstances, for them there is no path holidays are trying to take them off… they have no path, no purpose, no rhyme and no reason to live.

They wake up in the morning because they didn’t die the night before.

Now, you may think that I am talking against family, and honestly a month ago I would have. But sometimes you get guided to the perfect Netflix series…

I am watching Blue Bloods, about an Irish family, top cops. Every single adult in that family knows what they are about, and yet, every Sunday they go to church together, eat together, protect each other, support each other.

I didn’t know it was possible, because I had never seen anything like that. My family surely wasn’t like it. In my own family closeness wasn’t present. Family wasn’t a priority at all. It was at the very bottom of priorities. And so it was in all families I have observed…

Or if family was important, it was important from top down, not to each person. In this type of family each person was required to give up what they individually were about, and get no support or respect if in spite of that pressure they were up to something… i.e. they were nerds.

It’s rare, or non-existent, but if they could make a series about it, then it’s possible.

I can even imagine being part of a family like that.

Now, how is a family like that is born and formed?

I think that it all comes from top down…

One person, the patriarch, I guess, was up to something, had the generosity to share what he was about, the principles, the idealism, the struggles, and it became attractive, and the ambition of the children to choose their own path, and share it.

Among people I know, sharing with their parents what you are about, and getting support is unheard of.

People get married without ever completely know and share what they are about, and then the marriage is a power struggle…

Inside my parents’ marriage that power struggle never happened, but family, love, was never present.

Somehow, my older brother and me, got infected with my father’s purposeful living… my little brother, who was still little when my father left the family, is a floater. Not up to anything.

I have been working with adults.

The results are disappointing. More often than not, the person I am working with is pulled down, pulled back to being a floater by the family.

I see that I can work till I die and not make a difference if I continue to work with adults.

So I am setting my eyes at children.

Children have more freedom, and they have a good and politically correct excuse: their school grades, their future, their future earnings, their future success.

Parents want that for their children, even if they want it for the wrong reason. And they do… they have no choice about it: unevolved parents don’t really want their children to evolve, but by the time they notice, I hope, it will be irreversible.

The goal is to create nerds, children whose first priority is what they are up to (vertical), and their second priority is a loving relationship (horizontal).

What format will I choose? I am not sure yet. What age group? I haven’t decided.

I welcome your input. Especially if you have children. Children that you’d allow to get smarter, happier, so they can have a life they love, a life where they grow.

Would you allow your child to be more than you? More evolved?

Or would you like them to be just like you but get better grades?

Please comment below, or send me an email. I’d really like to hear what you have to say.

And please don’t lie. I’ll know.

steve-jobs_thumbPS: I just finished reading a long nerd article that you do want to read if you don’t have your life’s purpose, if you are ambiguous about your life purpose… here it is… enjoy: https://www.mynotetakingnerd.com/blog/personal-improvement-secret-to-steve-jobs-success/

What holds you back?

different-strokesI have been wondering what is the real reason behind many of you

1. coming back and reading the articles for years, yet never actually buying anything
2. buying stuff but not using them

I watched a video today, aimed at hypnotherapists.

The similarity between hypnotherapy and what I do is that most of what happens happens in the invisible realm. And what comes up is fear… doesn’t it?

What if she blah blah blah, fill in the blank with your fear.

In this article I want to honor the people who can’t even get themselves into the position to actually try… try and succeed, try and fail, but at least give it a shot.
Continue reading “What holds you back?”

After the ability is activated: what is it like?

After the ability is activated: what is it like?

Some unexpected fallouts and insights from activating the newly discovered abilities to all those people…

Suddenly this client thinks, for the first time, to ask how to speak to her mother in law who goes to her house, picks up her ironing and cleans her house…

Here is the whole conversation… this is an issue that SHOULD come up for everyone, because the idea of being interested in how a communication lands is one of those things, being able to see the consequences of your action. Communication is action!

So here is the email conversation where I teach her how to 1. be appreciative 2. be kind 3. be effective without forcing, without blaming, without making the other person defensive, and yet have a good chance to have the result you want… eventually.

———————————
Tuesday, November 3, 2015, 1:23:16 PM, she wrote:
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spirituality and machines… The Computer Story

spirituality and machines… The Computer Story

Yesterday my computer started to misbehave.

It shut down without an error message, without the dreaded blue screen.

I went online and researched the potential causes for it.

I have three computers, but this is my newest, and the one I do webinars on, the one I coach on skype, and I have a call already paid for this afternoon… so it was important to make the computer work.

I started with the hardware, the physical parts of the computer, and no matter what part I changed or disconnected, the error, the computer shutting down, persisted.

I was afraid, I was anxious.
Continue reading “spirituality and machines… The Computer Story”

If a tree falls in the forest: does it make a sound?

Trees+if+a+tree+falls+in+a+forest+and+no_c203c7_5337749

One of the horrible things I experience, often, is that people never ask: “why should I care?”

Why that is horrible? Why that is disappointing?

Because that question would show that the pilot light of intelligence is not completely extinguished in you. You have never asked that question? Now you know what it means.

Back in 1977, shortly after I won my first architectural competition, and therefore was wealthier than most people I knew, I fell ill: my sinuses put me to bed with high-high fever. I could not sleep 24/7, so I turned to a book, Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World 1. At some point I had a revelation: The society I lived in, the ideology I believed in, was beautiful, except that it worked for no one, no person living in it. It stifled the human spirit, stunted the growth of its people: did not allow for the evolution of humanity.
Continue reading “If a tree falls in the forest: does it make a sound?”

What will save you in this tanking economy: three moves anyone can learn

in-the-eye-of-the-storm-calm

How to be the eye of the storm calm… Three moves you can learn and practice

Everything is moved by the invisible… where all the power is. Some are just one layer below the surface, some are deeper… but all the same, all changes, all movements, all phenomena comes from there, the invisible.

Do I see all the forces in the invisible that jerk on your chains? I don’t.

But be sure that your efforts to manage the visible, in reaction to what you see, is misdirected.

Let’s look at the economy in the wake of an election.

Continue reading “What will save you in this tanking economy: three moves anyone can learn”

What causes success?

cause-of-somethingWhen you have a success, when you have even had a successful life, people ask you what you attribute it to. What was responsible for your success.

They ask you so they can learn from you. 2

But… it is hard to know what was the duplicatable, repeatable step that made all the difference.

I have successful students and I have not so successful students.

Today, after my best article, ever, I looked and found that ALL the successful students started to get successful after they put the “there is nothing wrong here” spiritual practice in place.
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No problem can be solved on the same level of consciousness that created it

monsters-inside-your-headNo problem can be solved on the same level of consciousness that created it. This sentence could be the cornerstone from which you finally raise your vibration, and become the person you were meant to be.

This article is crucial: if you get it, practice it until it becomes second nature, you’ll have taken the step to becoming a Human Being.

Many people search to understand the sentence in the title. Even understanding requires you to be on a different level of consciousness that created it.

You are asking because the consciousness is: a problem is wrong, it needs to be fixed.
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Winners don’t fight what is: they use it.

Your chances are like this tiny sea turtle hatchling... not bigThe ones who fight are broken.

You fight? you’re broken

To all the people that had their anchor-to-doom attachment pulled, I recommended that they start using the Unconditional Love Activator. Why?

Because the capacity of allowing need to be first practiced between you and you. Between you and your actions. Between you and your feelings, thoughts, and urges.

Without first allowing what is, you will ALWAYS be ineffective, bruised, and beaten.

I have learned this the hard way. I am a very forceful person by nature, and that is a horrible thing for a coach. Forcefulness create resistance in the other person, and instead of smooth transition to desirable actions, I trigger fighting, belligerence, and ultimately failure.
Continue reading “Winners don’t fight what is: they use it.”