Become all you can become with SophieHe that won't be counselled, can't be helped
Generosity was one of the distinctions I spent years researching and trying to BE…
It is a tricky way to be, the full meaning of generosity, because almost no one ever is really generous.
We normally equate giving with generosity. Some give stuff, others give praise, some give of themselves.
Most generosity makes the recipient suspicious: what is the ulterior motive? Continue reading “Generosity, choosing, gratitude MAKE YOU HAPPY”
What is a Dark Side event? Hard to know… but it is a lot like a locust swarm event… 1 you see the aftermath, the people’s vibration dropping, bad behaviors that were already forgotten are revived, the water losing its coherence, inside you and outside you.
My own experience is quite dramatic: hurry has crept back… anger, anxiety, wallowing, and the water.
What is it about hurry that is harmful? All of it. Continue reading “Dark side attack, hurry, and how choosing can save the day”
Can someone you consider your equal be your teacher? Your coach?
This question has been coming up for me with some students. And one-by-one I let them go.
When I coach someone, and they answer: good idea! I know they have no respect for me.
What is respect? Respect is seeing me for who I am. By myself, and in our relationship.
To bring fresh humility to the conversation… In the moment. Not from your memory, and not in comparison with your precious I.
If I have accomplished something: you can see it.
The dictionary definition is just one side of the coin: “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.”
I don’t care what you feel. But if you cannot see that there is a path towards which you aspire, and I am further along that road and may have insights you cannot yet have… then you have no respect for me.
I have some students that “humor me”… “there is nothing to see… now tell me what YOU see!” is their attitude.
When you see nothing, you are SURE that there is nothing there……and that renders you not humble, not teachable, not coachable.
And our relationship will end then and there…
As I have said countless time before: what gives you your actions, your attitude is what you see!
There may be more to respect… I’ll go and examine that at another time.
Saying “good idea!” indicates that you could have come up with the same thing… that someone needs nothing beyond what you know and what you have, to say what they said, to suggest what they suggested.
This, in the normal course of events, tells me: it is time to cut the connection: there is nothing more I can do here: there is no willingness to be humble on the part of the student.
You could say: I have to earn their respect… but if I haven’t thus far, chances are I never will.
Humility is an indicator of how willing you are to learn. How willing you are to accept guidance and feedback.
It doesn’t mean that you are inferior, and it doesn’t mean that the teacher is superior. You can learn from everyone, sometimes what not to do, if you are humble. But if you don’t bring humility to a teacher/student relationship, then you’ll learn NOTHING.
Unless you can see, unless you know that the more you think of yourself the less you are able to learn. Unless you see that you cannot grow, you cannot learn, if you already know, you are stuck.
The number that tells the truth about you is the inverse of the humility number: how much you think of yourself. The students, ex students, soon to be ex students: that number is above 90%.
On another note, I had the good fortune to listen in to two of my accountability members weekly call.
This was the first time I ever heard two of my students converse. And it was the best opportunity for me to learn what questions haven’t been answered, what questions and issues my students are struggling with.
They listened to each other respectfully, hoping and receiving a different view and therefore a different answer than they could get on their own.
Really, earnestly engaged with the issues that between where they are and where they’d rather be.
What we call desire in this work is the “thing” you want, that you may even need to happen, but there is no pathway to actually get it. It always comes coupled with a sense of urgency, impatience… 2
Margoczi uses thirst in the desert. Two men are walking in the desert. One uses walking to get to the oasis, hopefully. The other man is trapped in desire. His imagination goes to a pitcher of perfectly cooled beer, the glass sweating, and the beer going down smooth. He can taste it, he can revel in it, he may even burp.
The first man is in ambition mode: walking, steadily towards the oasis.
The second man is already happy… his imagination, his mind has told him: no need to do anything. He lies down in the sand… and will die.
In the fear trap where one is energized by the fear, pushes the energy to his limbs, so he can live. The other will engage with the fear in his mind, and will do nothing… and will die. Some people bounce between the two traps: the desire trap and the fear trap, and never amount to much… while their life force is used up with desire and fear… no activity, no results.
I would have never been able to see this dynamic between the fear trap and the desire trap without these accountability students allowing me to listen to the call (through a recording. I wasn’t on the call… that would have changed the dynamic.)
You will hear their opinions, their experiences, what they are struggling with.
No Junior Sophie, no Junior guru… just brothers in arms sharing: two sets of eyes and brains can see more.
So what can you say, instead of saying: that’s a good idea? or “good point!” or “I guess what you suggest is better!”
Because when you say your superiority suggested remarks, you are sure that you see more, better, and superior to what anyone, ANYONE can see…
There are plenty of coaches on your level. The closer someone’s vibration (the lower their eye level is, spiritually) to yours, the more of what they say you’ll be able to get in its fullness.
When you listen to me, you get between 1%-maybe 10%. When you listen to them, you can get as much as 50%. So you don’t have to work, and they will like you more too… They will think you are a god among mere mortals.
And that is what you want, don’t you?
So what is really the difference between coaching and coaching?
I endeavor to hand the power over to you. This became evident in the conversation of my two students. They looked exactly the way I taught them to look, and they saw what I saw. And they informed me that the whole inner reality is not yet visible. So I went to work, and looked where they pointed to… so I can see what we haven’t seen before.
I have shared it with them, and they could see that in fact it matches their experience.
The art is to know where the experience is coming from: the dynamic. The hidden reality.
If you are someone who is stuck on the level of the ground, we are not a good match: you won’t get the invisible, and you won’t get that you don’t get it.
I guess you already know that… On some level.
Silver bullet
What does the silver bullet do?
It cuts through everything.
In folklore, a bullet cast from silver is often the only weapon that is effective against a werewolf, a witch, or other monsters.
The term is also a metaphor for a simple, seemingly magical, solution to a difficult problem: for example, penicillin was a silver bullet that cured many bacterial infections. Continue reading “What’s your Silver bullet? A magic solution? Killer of evil?”
You’ll need beginner’s mind for this…
Some mornings I have nothing to say. I am likely running on empty.
Two reasons, two causes, two energy leaks:
Continue reading “Choosing, choosing what is — updated with a live recording”
Some people will learn… and others, won’t, but will be sure. Cocksure 4Everyone I know feels smart, or at the minimum smarter than the next person.
But does the quality of your life depend on how smart you feel?
The fallacy that has somehow replaced looking at how much people see accurately, what they do, what results they produce in the world, with how they feel about themselves.
When you look at the world, your world, the world at large, you mostly see what you recognize (rightly or wrongly, from the past), and maybe, occasionally, you are forced to notice stuff that you don’t recognize. Rarely. Continue reading “Don’t Teach a Pig To Sing; It Wastes Your Time and Annoys the Pig”
Brain Plasticity…
The brain that changes itself is a book I read in 2011… About the brain… the brain that you need to train if you want to become more, better or different.
Why have I been thinking about brain plasticity/neuroplasticity? Continue reading “What do you see with? Your eyes? NO. Even though…”
Where did this humanity-wide phenomenon of being so weak… living like a putz come from?
I meant to share student essays on how self-created rules keep them alienated from themselves, keep them playing safe and dead… not joyful, not accomplished, not living a life worth living.
Then I changed my mind.
I had two calls, where I was training, each, a person to take on a practice to activate the capacity to be with unpleasant, bothersome, disturbing feelings and actions. To be a MAN…
This capacity used to be active in humans… but because of the widespread positive thinking and comfort: society now deems these situations, these feelings, these actions undesirable.
Continue reading “The price of comfort is weakness, cowardice, putz”
I have been intensely curious why something with a 7~10% truth value would make a difference for people who read it, study it, practice it, and apply it to their lives.
Ultimately we are talking about 90-93% untruth… and yet. People report results… in the testimonials. Continue reading “What results can you expect from a low truth value course?”
Finding a fulfilling career can sometimes feel impossible. … according to Bridgewater Associates founder Ray Dalio. If you are one of the people who is complaining that you don’t know how to get that… here is the first step is clearly setting your goals.
‘There is always a best possible path. Your job is to find it and have the courage to follow it,’
He doesn’t say it, because he doesn’t know… but the number of people who simply want a happy fulfilling life without investing none of their time, none of their efforts in it is staggering.
If your desire number is higher than your ambition number, you are, for the time being, sh*t out of luck. Continue reading “Fulfillment… career, family, health, happiness”
