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Most people, even some sayings suggest that dying trying is a good thing. But that supports most people who stop at tying and never get to doing. They have the sizzle of the steak, but never deliver the steak itself.
This is the continuation of yesterday’s article.
‘Not real, not real.‘ What happens when you can say that?
I may not live much longer, but while I am alive, I’ll do the work necessary.
I slept a total of two hours last night. Then I woke up with a start… could not go back to sleep… And the experience of I am suffocating every time I put my head down is not ever going to allow me to sleep again.
So I got up, and researched chronic pulmonary obstruction disease… My symptoms are most similar to that…
Then I went back to bed and practiced for an hour to say: ‘not real, not real‘ every time the panic came up. The not real tells me relax the muscles that block the air flow. I did that 80 times in that hour.
This is not dissimilar to the Amish Horse Training Method, where what needs to be let go of is a thought, but it isn’t the thought that keeps you miserable, it’s the meaning.
So the meaning is what is not real.
‘I am suffocating‘… is not real. I noticed that there was, each time, an image or a mini-movie that triggered it. It was easier to see because I had my eyes closed……
Eighty repetitions got me to being consciously incompetent. The goal is to get myself to unconscious competence. Muscletest says another 300 successful repetitions can take me there. In the meantime my vibration has dropped, my IQ has dropped, and there is no guarantee that I’ll be able to sleep through the night even after I get competent.
But without integrity nothing works, not you, not your life. And worse than that: you can’t love yourself. And without integrity your word has no power.
When you say: ‘not real‘, you are creating with your word… and if your word has no power, then you won’t obey it. In my case, in suffocating: if I didn’t HONOR my word, I would jump up and try to stay alive… Instead, when I say not real, not real… I already relax the muscles that obstruct my airways. And when I really-really didn’t react, my eyes even stayed closed… About half of the 80 instances.
Why is this called The Amish Horse Training Method?
The Amish ties the young horse to a fence post on the side of the highway for days, about 7 days. Every vehicle passing triggers the horse until it gets it, if it gets it, that all that noise is not personal, and that he, the horse, can let go of reacting to every noise.
Only humans are so arrogant to believe that just knowing what there is to do is enough…
So I have had not one student who has achieved mastery at the Amish Horse Training Method, even though I have no students who wouldn’t need it. Because just like an untrained horse reacts to everything, you do too… And it is as dangerous as in the case of the horse: you pull your whole life in the way of the eighteen wheeler when you react.
Life well lived is a series of reps and sets… like body building.
If you don’t do them, you won’t have the body, the life that you hoped to get.
I feel faint now, so I am going to have another few sets and reps…
OK, I just added another hour. This time there were only 30 instances of me being triggered. The triggers were all pictures, but they were so fast I couldn’t catch it. The same way the spliced in triggers work in a movie: you don’t know why suddenly you want to have a Coke… I am referring to an old Colombo episode.
What I think happens that you want something… Me, I just want to lie there, no struggle… Not even knowing that I am breathing. And then the trigger creates fear, anxiety, and the body reacts with whatever the body does, and that is what needs to be released. The reaction.
You have no control over the trigger, just like the Amish horse has no power over the noise… But it can learn to control its reaction.
Most people avoid doing activities that trigger fear or anxiety.
Even though those are the perfect opportunities to become a person who is in power.
The content of the fear, the content of the anxiety doesn’t matter much. It is the meaning. The words. Not real.
There are two ways to live in the world.
One is how the eight billion lives. They are an object in a world of objects. They look at what they see as the world, and try to adjust their words to represent it. Clumsily, I might say. Resulting in eight billion people for whom everything is the same as everything else, except that not always.
In this object-world word is cheap.
A statement has a ‘word-to-world’ fit because it constitutes an attempt by the speaker to make his words ‘match’ the world in a certain sense. In contrast, a promise (or declaration) has a world-to-word fit because it constitutes an undertaking on the part of the speaker to make the world match his words. ~ from Wikipedia
The other way to live is lo live in the dominion of human being: a person living in a world of persons. In that world the word has the power. There the word creates. Not the kind of creation New Age gurus say: ‘you create your own reality’. Instead you speak and deliver what you said.
So when I say ‘not real‘, I am not trying to change my own reality where physics don’t work. I am declaring, instructing, and delivering… I release the tension, release the anxiety, and the result is breathing that is effortless… Again and again and again, until something starts really obeying my will, and lets me be the master of my world, the captain of my ship.
I am going to teach speaking that way. If you haven’t made any consistent effort to actually do any of the work I teach, you are not going to be in the live session… but you are welcome to get the recording. For now it’s the same price.
Another free workshop I am planning to give, if my energy level agrees, is the complaint to purpose workshop.
So far students are coming up with inauthentic complaints, except one student. For example this complaint: My biggest complaint about my life is that I haven’t come anywhere close to discovering what my special gift is to contribute.
The real complaint is underneath it. Your real complaint is about as old as YOU are. My complaint was that I can’t get comfortable, because I am always on the edge… And that was true already when I was born… Never a smooth moment, never a moment of rest.
A complaint that you could just start eliminating is not a complaint we can work with. You need to feel entirely powerless about this complaint or it will be just more idle complaining. Ugh.
A complaint I can work with is like this: I am always left out. What others seem to be able to do I can’t.
Most people’s main complaint is around how they are and how what they produce is seen by others…
Examples: What I do is never enough. People want more than I can give. No matter what I do I don’t belong.
One of my possible complaint could have been: nobody loves me. It is not the truth. I can’t fix it, mainly because it is not true. Secondarily because you can’t make anyone love you.
In the purpose process we turn the complaint upside down…
the purpose would become: The only love you can feel is the love you give. So the more I love the more love I feel.
In one of the 67 steps the advice is: make your mess your message. So to the woman who complains that she hasn’t discovered her special gift… her special gift is that she hasn’t found it and therefore she is a beach ball on open sea all about herself. And she can teach how miserable that is. And also what has been turning it around, gently.
She could ADMIT that her real complaint is that people don’t recognize her ‘genius’… and THAT can be stood on its head, and shaped into a purpose: her purpose is to allow and make people shine. She may not like it, but I do. Really like it.
