Become all you can become by raising yourself higher on the Tree of Life

Your hate keeps you stuck until you learn

You are going to hate this article, and your hate keeps you stuck.

Focus on what you can control, not what you can’t.

Why? because the truth hurts. And what hurts: you hate. Makes sense, right?

And instead of using it as fuel for yourself to go in the direction you want to go, you’ll use it to spill all your energies on it, you’ll say: she is lying, you’ll say whatever you’ll say, but you’ll fixate on it… instead of taking what I say, and use it to actually get where you want to get to.

How do I know? Because I have been observing thousands of people over the years, and that is what all of them does.

All of them?

I dare to say all… Continue reading “Your hate keeps you stuck until you learn”

Your dark side is your deepest source for joy, contribution

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I have heard that your dark side is your deepest source of joy, fulfillment, yada yada yada, I have even taught that… but alas, I forgot what I said, I forgot why it’s so.

So in this article I’ll try to remember 🙁 … in my usual meandering way.

OK, first step: I google it:

Your dark side means that you have shadow aspects of yourself that you don’t want to look at and even less you want consciously work with them. Instead of facing your dark side from the place of presence, you ignore and suppress the parts of yourself that you dislike.

I call that ‘Face the Tiger‘… and teach it in the course of the same name. Continue reading “Your dark side is your deepest source for joy, contribution”

Feel powerless? What will it take to become powerful?

I have been observing that someone from Tallin, Estonia, a former Soviet Union country, has been spending time on my site.

And then in yesterday’s email, Vishen Lakhiani from Mind Valley announced a new masterclass: Unconditional Self-Love.

I don’t know what his wife is going to teach on that masterclass, but I know one thing: it will be, most likely, really beautiful, nice, heartwarming, and utterly ineffective. Why?

Answering that why is what this article is about… what they won’t teach you at Mindvalley. Continue reading “Feel powerless? What will it take to become powerful?”

Are 30 day challenges worth doing? Are 66 days better?

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Somehow it seems that 30 days are almost enough to establish a habit… even though other reports say: it takes 66 days.

One of my old students who had not participated in anything I offered for 8 years now, decided to join the Validation Challenge.

The discipline of doing something daily and get daily feedback on how that action worked started to create a miracle.

Some people surrender to discipline, some people welcome it as an accountability device, others continue doing what they always do… which is either doing nothing, or doing something that is based on some misunderstanding. Continue reading “Are 30 day challenges worth doing? Are 66 days better?”

Name it and claim it… or how to return to power

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Is depression chemical?

I have been depressed about half of my life. Sometimes depression lasted weeks, days, sometimes it lasted years.

There is depression that is caused by some disappointment, tragedy, loss. If I remember correctly, that is called ‘Major Depression’.

The kind of depression I deal with sneaks up on you like a morning fog, and you don’t really notice it until you can’t see past your nose.

It is a sense of hopelessness.

Some people with a depression issue have manic periods, I don’t.

I have periods of less hopelessness, and more hopelessness. Continue reading “Name it and claim it… or how to return to power”

You are like a dog wagged by its tail. The Mind is the tail…

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You live as an object in a world of objects… an object with a mind, but nevertheless an object.

Your mind serves one purpose only: to live really like a machine, protecting itself, being self-concerned. Because if you are an object in a world of object, then every other object is a threat to you, physically, or otherwise, so you are always concerned with how you look, that you are right, that you dominate and avoid domination, you win and avoid losing, you justify yourself and invalidate others, and desperately scramble to avoid responsibility for anything and everything.

That is the life of an object living in a world of objects.

Your mind also tells you that you have to, you need to, you want to, you should do all the things that will make you look good and make it in this world of objects.

The problem with this setup, other than that it’s miserable, is that you are not ‘designed’ as an object: you are designed to be a person. But other than in labels, 99.99% of humanity behaves like an object, not as a person.

What is the main difference?

A person is not the dog that is wagged by the tail.

WTF are you talking about, Sophie? Continue reading “You are like a dog wagged by its tail. The Mind is the tail…”

What is the Strength of YOUR character? A must look…

I know you don’t want to talk about this topic, but I am afraid we need to. Hate me, I can take it.

I know it is holiday month, you only want to think of Christmas, and nice-nice, and gifts… but the quality of your life depends on what you do every day… so maybe you want to talk about that…

So what is character? Character, some say, is how you behave when no one is watching.

But that is vague… so let’s look at Wikipedia… here is a short quote from there Continue reading “What is the Strength of YOUR character? A must look…”

The Validation Challenge nearly impossible for people

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One of the problems that people in the Validation Challenge have is that they use the focused mind to look.

In the ‘learning to learn’ course we learned that the mind can be in the focused state and in the unfocused state.

Mine is in the unfocused state 91% of the time. Even when I write an article, even when I lead a workshop, even when I am on the phone, even when I read, even when I attend a webinar.

Why?

OK, let’s look at the focused mind. The focused mind is narrowed in on what it’s looking at. Narrowing in may make it sharper, but there is no bandwidth, and it is trying too hard. Continue reading “The Validation Challenge nearly impossible for people”

Who you can learn from to become a person… your Self?

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What can you learn from a theoretical physicist, a famous ad writer, art collector to become a person… yourself?

What does an ad writer have to do with being happy, fulfilled, and joyful? Other than selling it to you… lol… right?

Most things that I teach are difficult to understand enough that you actually know it and can teach it. Unless you can teach it, you didn’t learn it… The Feynman technique teaches how to get there… but this article is not about that. Continue reading “Who you can learn from to become a person… your Self?”

If you feel like you are treated like a thing… often like dirt

If you feel like you are treated like a thing… often like dirt, a doormat; a thing to use. And no, this not me-too…

I don’t know about you, but being treated like a thing is at the root of almost every human misery… starting when you were little…

So in my practice, I am starting to realize, that is what needs to be dug out and looked at, so people can really get what they are stuck with, what is the thorn that is in their side… why they think they can’t, why they think they have to become special, or rich, or pretty, or thin, or famous… to finally be someone who isn’t treated like a thing.

But while being treated like a thing, it is normal: 99.99% of humanity only sees things, including themselves. In fact, when I muscletest. I get the answer that not more than 1000 people on the planet can see people as people, not as things.

What is even more surprising, all those 99.99% see themselves as things as well. Continue reading “If you feel like you are treated like a thing… often like dirt”