Become all you can become by raising yourself higher on the Tree of Life

What is the most important thing in life?

The culture we live in, the mind-meme that is the dominant influencer of our emotions, our actions, our decisions in life says: the most important thing in life is fitting in, taking care of your loved ones, to be loved, to belong.

Sounds so nice, doesn’t it? Sounds like that is what will cause our species to survive, that is what is going to cause us to be happy.

Let’s examine if it, in fact, contributes to happiness, and to the survival of the species… i.e. if it contributes to personal growth, personal evolution, because any species that its members don’t grow or can’t grow is declining and dying.
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Coherence to incoherence… the path to becoming zombie

Warning: if you like your glass half filled, if you are a positive thinker, if you are optimistic, if you think hope is good, then please don’t read this article: it will attack your world at its core.

A society or a species that can have coherence and maintain that coherence is a species that survives most any calamity.

If you want to destroy a species (or and individual) you need to introduce incoherence.

Incoherence means: stuff is there that doesn’t fit. That doesn’t work well with the rest of the organism. That conflicts with the goals of the organism.

How is incoherence introduced?

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What does religious mean? And what does it have to do with not being happy, fulfilled, etc.

Will you choose the truth or the dogma? Love or “luv”? The personal cost of being religious…

I brought up the issue, my issue, my inability to be OK around religion.

Because I am so practiced activating my “Reticular Activator” and I am so committed to keep on expanding as a human being, my whole world shifted the moment I put my attention to the phenomenon.

All the books suddenly point to something that is related to my “object”, my dreams, articles, everything.

It is not in the foreground all the time, instead it is simmering on the back burner.
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12 steps toward becoming truly who you are: the Playground program

The Playground program: the history

Back in 1988 when I first created the Playground: It is never too late to have a happy childhood, I’d just come out from participating in a 12-step program, similar to AA, but for people who suffered from the behavior of the alcoholic.

It turns out, that a troubled household with troubled parents creates the same symptoms as one with an alcoholic parent: a lack of safety. My parents weren’t alcoholic, but their behavior was erratic. One day I was beaten up for a behavior, the next it was ignored… Nerve wrecking. There was nothing I could count on to be quasi permanent and reliable. It’s a miracle that I didn’t withdraw into schizophrenia.

What’s good about 12-step programs?

Anyway, I liked the environment of a 12-step meeting: the meeting had principles, but it had no coaching, no rebuttal, no arguments, it was a very adult and equals program, as opposed to any other place in the world.
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Spiritual? Religious? Atheist?

It is undeniable that there is more to reality than what you can see with your eyes. The below the water level stuff… or behind the curtain type of stuff… mostly about the invisible dynamics, the invisible motive powers of people, and maybe even stuff.

I grew up atheist, a Marxist, and a seriously anti-religious child. Most of that wasn’t from my parents, I don’t ever remember them talking about any of that among themselves: they almost never talked to me about anything.

I never thought there were monsters under the bed, or that the Easter Bunny filled the boots in the windows (we are talking about Hungarian customs, don’t get confused!) or any other superstition. I was free to observe… unimpeded, unhindered, unguided by others’ imagination and fantasies, like religion.

I knew there were at least two layers to every human: what they showed and what was inside…
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What is the deepest reason for your procrastination?

If you watched me long enough, you would probably swear that I am a procrastinator. I plan to do things, maybe I even write it down, maybe I even schedule it, and then I don’t do it for a long time, maybe ever.

I don’t consider myself a procrastinator:

you need to have a should to be a procrastinator.

By definition, procrastination is not doing what you should be doing. I have no shoulds, even if I said I would do something, it doesn’t live like a should for me. Continue reading “What is the deepest reason for your procrastination?”

Your childhood holds the keys to your redemption, to your happiness, to your success

Humans are the most vulnerable creatures of the Planet. They are not big enough, they are not strong enough, to protect themselves effectively from being harmed by predators or nature.

The only reason humans, as a species have survived so far is because of humans’ use of the brain to create protection from predators and the elements.

Nothing has changed: we, humans, are as vulnerable as every, but we have forgotten that the survival of the species depends on each individual in the species: it cannot be delegated to authorities, police, the medical establishment and the like. It has to happen on the individual level first and foremost.

We pretend not to know, because we really don’t care, that for a child to grow up healthy, the child needs a supportive environment with a sense of safety, including emotional safety.
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Do I judge the people I write about? Gurus, healers, teachers and such?

Making something wrong vs distinguishing what is so

Judging, the word, the activity, implies that there is a right and there is a wrong. There isn’t… so when you are judging, you are already involved in what we call “the Dark Side”…

I get emails from quite a few people that say that I am an angry, that I am a low vibration person because I write about people and their actions saying that they are low vibration, or whatever they say… just read my vibrational reviews.

What is missing for these people is the distinction above: being able to tell is something is a make-wrong statement or if something is a what is so statement. If something is a judgment or if something is a matter of fact of stating the facts I can glean from what I see.

One of my students has a son who is a bed-wetter. I used to be a bed-wetter, so I know a whole lot about the inner world of a bed-wetter.
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Want to be happy? here are the steps

Happiness is a function of accepting what is. Life is like this weird rose… doesn’t look the way it should… orderly, smooth, safe, winning, beautiful, etc… Hard to accept, hard to even tolerate… Right?

What is accepting what is?

Accepting is saying yes to. You could also say: when you are accepting something, you give it permission to be exactly the way it is, and not be what it isn’t.

There is no “it should be different”, and there is no “it should not be” or “should not be the way it is.”
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If it is easy, it probably won’t do you any good!

I had an insight today that will open up a can of worms…

I have had issues with my weight since age 9. I have found effective ways to manage my weight, apart from starving myself (I did that for about 15 years too…), one of them involves a breathing technique.

I did that method for about three years, first to reduce my weight and then to maintain it, without having to change my diet.

It worked like gangbusters… and I was surprised to hear that the originator of the method was sued, in a class action suit, that the method didn’t work.

She lost the suit, and paid millions in restitution.
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