Become all you can become by raising yourself higher on the Tree of Life

What do you want, really? or asked differently What do you really want?

The answer is in the values you choose to love…

I have been harping on values… and it is as if I were speaking in an auditorium where my voice doesn’t, can’t carry… there is no echo. ¹

Nothing and no one indicating that they are hearing me, that they are pondering, that the question is heard and taken on as a quest to answer, to ponder, to be taken with you to sleep, to your meditation, to your walks, so you eventually come up with something you value.

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
Community cannot for long feed on itself; it can only flourish with the coming of others from beyond, their unknown and undiscovered brothers.
During times of war, hatred becomes quite respectable even though it has to masquerade often under the guise of patriotism.
– Howard Thurman (1900 – 1981)

There are two kinds of values, temporary/transitory and eternal. Continue reading “What do you want, really? or asked differently What do you really want?”

Unhappy? Bored? So-so? Read this article…

Drifting? Aimless? Unhappy? Bored? So-so? Read this article…

I just watched two book reviews of the same book, Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt. Why? Because I wanted to get the gist of it, without having to chew 300 pages plus.

But I am still interested to hear the principles, in 10 minutes instead of 10 hours… wouldn’t you?

The two reviews differed vastly, because of the reviewers. Continue reading “Unhappy? Bored? So-so? Read this article…”

How to have self-love? And do narcissists love themselves?

How to have self-love? And why?

here is another article I wrote about this topic: self love

I have been struggling with this forever. Somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind there is a huge resistance to it…

I listen in… I don’t even have to put a pillow on my head… I can now hear it, just need to listen. Continue reading “How to have self-love? And do narcissists love themselves?”

Are questions a good way to make you think? More questions…

Here are even more questions you can ask of yourself…

This is the third article in this series, and No feedback, so far, so I assume you just read the questions and answered the way you answer everything, without looking…

Do I listen to others?
What do they have to say about that?
Am I listening to how what they say fit?
Am I listening to what they are up to this time?
Am I listening if I agree or not?
Am I really listening or just waiting for them to finish so I can speak?
Do I only talk to people to give them a piece of my mind or to tell them what to do? If so, do I listen for the echo while I talk to them?
Do I know if what I said was heard or not?
Do I pray only when I want something?
Do I see people only when I need or want something?
Do I think only of myself?
Do I think of prayer as a food order at McDonald’s?
Do I procrastinate? Or just putting off things?
Do things pile up around me? Dreams, plans, aspirations… in a pile of broken dreams?

Continue reading “Are questions a good way to make you think? More questions…”

Many of you don’t have a Self… here is how to find it

We all have two selves. One is real, the other is made up.

The bigger the distance between the two, the less authentic, the less happy we are.

When you love yourself: you love your life… said in another way: when the two selves are in harmony, you love your life.

The soul’s (the real self) job is to cause character, the soul’s job is to help you find out who you are. The Self. The person you are…

Many of you have not managed to distinguish a Self from all the ideas of who you should be, who you want to be, who you fancy yourself being… The precious I, the delusional self.

A Self is your ‘I’ that is independent and defensible from other people’s opinion, and from even your own opinion of you… when you make mistakes.

I know this is a mouthful, so let me elaborate:
Continue reading “Many of you don’t have a Self… here is how to find it”

Become someone who can make good decisions

Is it worth it? Is it worth the bother, the effort, the work? Will it get me finally what I want?

One of the reasons people don’t like to try new things is because they cannot judge whether they can do it or not. Whether it will be easy or not. Whether it will be pleasant and enjoyable or not.

How come? Why is it so difficult? Life is complex, and most of us have no tolerance for complexity. Complexity, ambivalence, ambiguity are normal, but the capacity to hold them becomes available to you in only at a certain brain development age… If you got stuck in young child brain development, that is most people, you have never developed the capacity.

Can you develop this capacity now? Of course you can. What is preventing you from doing it? Your low TLB number… you are a Twitchy Little Bastard… and you can’t deal with complexity, confusion, or looking long enough to actually see something.

Some of my students, when they learned about my habit of looking long and more than just once… as a way to deal with my dyslexia, have started to practice the same… and their ability to hold controversy and ambivalence has increased… because of that practice. But if you fancy yourself smart, quick, etc. Looking long and hard is going to be difficult, because your precious I will tell you that only stupid people look long and hard.

Actually the opposite is true: your precious I is deceiving you and keeping you… eh… stupid. In the stupid as the stupid does sense. Continue reading “Become someone who can make good decisions”

True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.

Be Better at Life by Thinking of Yourself Less
The power of self-transcendence. In a paradoxical twist, research suggests that the less we think about ourselves, the better we become. Self-transcendence not only allows us to overcome our greatest fears and break through our limits, but it also improves our performance in less heroic, everyday activities.

The measure inside the Starting Point Measurements, the measure that asks to what percent you think of yourself is confusing to most people.

They think that the higher the number is the more selfish they are. Selfish… bad.

They think that they selfishly think of themselves instead of others.

But… here there is a big but, that you won’t like. Why? Because it is counter-cultural. Culture says that you should think about others. You should live for others. You should sacrifice yourself for others… Doesn’t it say that?

But if you think of others: your number will still be high…

Continue reading “True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”

Chances are: you don’t know who you are, your self

Chances are: you don’t know who you are, and you don’t know what would really please you

We are all entrepreneurs, potentially.

The principle is: an entrepreneur is someone who remakes the world in the image of themselves.

There are a few problems we’ll have with this principle:

The main problem is that we have no idea who we are, how we are, what we really like, what are our strengths, what are our weaknesses.

We keep ourselves so busy with irrelevant stuff, that we never have a chance to see how we are when things are relevant. Continue reading “Chances are: you don’t know who you are, your self”

Perspective… asking questions that upset your status quo

In the 67 steps there is a method to make decisions using a calculator. ²

Nine out of ten students skip it, the one that does it does it shabbily. Students won’t do it or won’t do it right even after I send them back to do it.

Why? Because the method uses questions that you don’t want to ask. Why? Because they upset the apple cart.

I read a book, years ago, by a therapist, for people who can’t make a decision to leave or to leave… ³ The one question that no one asked before was: when it was the best: was it really good?

I was in a relationship when I first read that book, so I asked the question and looked. And then looked at every relationship I had ever had. I found that even when it was the best, it wasn’t really good… for me. As hard as it was to accept that, I decided that I am not going to live on crumbs any more… I am happiest alone, married to my life-purpose… I left and I have been a lot happier ever since.

A new question is a change in perspective…

Continue reading “Perspective… asking questions that upset your status quo”

What’s your mission in life? YOUR mission… not what others want your mission to be!

What’s your mission in life? Everyone and their brother is asking this question…

The question indicates that you should have a mission… You should have a purpose… or else…

But why is that? Are people misleading you or is it true that if you have a mission, if you have a purpose then life is better? Let’s do some looking together, ok? ⁴

Some people also tell you to follow your passion. Or they tell you to find your purpose.

Both of those feel too big and both say, find… intimating that there is a passion, a purpose with your name on it. Pre-ordained, given to you by god, or by your birth date… or maybe your soul correction?

But if you have passions, you know that your passions may change over time.

Continue reading “What’s your mission in life? YOUR mission… not what others want your mission to be!”