Many people, including some clients, a nephew and a niece have studied to become CPA’s.
It’s not exciting, it’s not titillating, it is not a dream profession… unless… unless…
If I asked a 100 people how they would finish the sentence, what comes after unless, almost all of them would say: unless you love it.
And to a certain degree they may be right… it is more fun to do a job that you love.
But what does it take to love someone or something?
We live in an age where people expect to be in love with a person to get married… and then 50+ percent falls out of love… and get divorced. The less, most of them stay together for the kids.
And the same trend is winning in choosing a vocation… same or higher “divorce rate”.
So maybe the order of things is messed up: first you get good at the job and then you’ll love it.
Why would you think that someone will judge you? Simple… you have already judged yourself.
But why would you? Not everyone judge themselves. I, for example, don’t… or not often at all. I often assess myself, my behavior, my looks, my stuff… but assessment does not carry condemnation in it, and it doesn’t carry praise in it either.
What is the difference between judgment and assessment 1 ?
In judgment, the judging person lives as if there were a fixed good or bad, smart or stupid, right or wrong. And then they act as if they were assigned the job of judging…
So a high fixed mindset plus arrogance, superiority, plus high desire/low ambition numbers.
Can someone you consider your equal be your teacher? Your coach?
This question has been coming up for me with some students. And one-by-one I let them go.
When I coach someone, and they answer: good idea! I know they have no respect for me.
What is respect? Respect is seeing me for who I am. By myself, and in our relationship.
To bring fresh humility to the conversation… In the moment. Not from your memory, and not in comparison with your precious I.
If I have accomplished something: you can see it.
The dictionary definition is just one side of the coin: “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.”
I don’t care what you feel. But if you cannot see that there is a path towards which you aspire, and I am further along that road and may have insights you cannot yet have… then you have no respect for me.
I have some students that “humor me”… “there is nothing to see… now tell me what YOU see!” is their attitude.
When you see nothing, you are SURE that there is nothing there…
…and that renders you not humble, not teachable, not coachable.
And our relationship will end then and there…
As I have said countless time before: what gives you your actions, your attitude is what you see!
There may be more to respect… I’ll go and examine that at another time.
Saying “good idea!” indicates that you could have come up with the same thing… that someone needs nothing beyond what you know and what you have, to say what they said, to suggest what they suggested.
This, in the normal course of events, tells me: it is time to cut the connection: there is nothing more I can do here: there is no willingness to be humble on the part of the student.
You could say: I have to earn their respect… but if I haven’t thus far, chances are I never will.
It all boils down to humility.
Humility is an indicator of how willing you are to learn. How willing you are to accept guidance and feedback.
It doesn’t mean that you are inferior, and it doesn’t mean that the teacher is superior. You can learn from everyone, sometimes what not to do, if you are humble. But if you don’t bring humility to a teacher/student relationship, then you’ll learn NOTHING.
Unless you can see, unless you know that the more you think of yourself the less you are able to learn. Unless you see that you cannot grow, you cannot learn, if you already know, you are stuck.
The number that tells the truth about you is the inverse of the humility number: how much you think of yourself. The students, ex students, soon to be ex students: that number is above 90%.
Unless you find a way to get off your high horse, you are stuck in your imaginary high… and no learning is possible.
On another note, I had the good fortune to listen in to two of my accountability members weekly call.
This was the first time I ever heard two of my students converse. And it was the best opportunity for me to learn what questions haven’t been answered, what questions and issues my students are struggling with.
They listened to each other respectfully, hoping and receiving a different view and therefore a different answer than they could get on their own.
Really, earnestly engaged with the issues that between where they are and where they’d rather be.
One real obstacle to move forward is high desire, whether it is coupled with desire trap or not.
What we call desire in this work is the “thing” you want, that you may even need to happen, but there is no pathway to actually get it. It always comes coupled with a sense of urgency, impatience… 2
Margoczi uses thirst in the desert. Two men are walking in the desert. One uses walking to get to the oasis, hopefully. The other man is trapped in desire. His imagination goes to a pitcher of perfectly cooled beer, the glass sweating, and the beer going down smooth. He can taste it, he can revel in it, he may even burp.
The first man is in ambition mode: walking, steadily towards the oasis. The second man is already happy… his imagination, his mind has told him: no need to do anything. He lies down in the sand… and will die.
There is also an equivalent to the desire trap in the fear trap
In the fear trap where one is energized by the fear, pushes the energy to his limbs, so he can live. The other will engage with the fear in his mind, and will do nothing… and will die. Some people bounce between the two traps: the desire trap and the fear trap, and never amount to much… while their life force is used up with desire and fear… no activity, no results.
I would have never been able to see this dynamic between the fear trap and the desire trap without these accountability students allowing me to listen to the call (through a recording. I wasn’t on the call… that would have changed the dynamic.)
Bouncing off ideas from someone who is in the same game as you is a brilliant way to get more clarity.
You will hear their opinions, their experiences, what they are struggling with.
No Junior Sophie, no Junior guru… just brothers in arms sharing: two sets of eyes and brains can see more.
But if you’ll hear what I say with the same ears, then you are not a student… and you’ll not benefit from our interaction.
So what can you say, instead of saying: that’s a good idea? or “good point!” or “I guess what you suggest is better!”
Because when you say your superiority suggested remarks, you are sure that you see more, better, and superior to what anyone, ANYONE can see…
And what you miss is what the coaching is. You miss the essence of the coaching. You take the conversation to the mundane, two-bit, linear, and unseeing level of your own.
There are plenty of coaches on your level. The closer someone’s vibration (the lower their eye level is, spiritually) to yours, the more of what they say you’ll be able to get in its fullness.
When you listen to me, you get between 1%-maybe 10%. When you listen to them, you can get as much as 50%. So you don’t have to work, and they will like you more too… They will think you are a god among mere mortals.
And that is what you want, don’t you?
So what is really the difference between coaching and coaching?
I endeavor to hand the power over to you. This became evident in the conversation of my two students. They looked exactly the way I taught them to look, and they saw what I saw. And they informed me that the whole inner reality is not yet visible. So I went to work, and looked where they pointed to… so I can see what we haven’t seen before.
I have shared it with them, and they could see that in fact it matches their experience.
The art is to know where the experience is coming from: the dynamic. The hidden reality.
You cannot coach on the level you cannot see… and you don’t benefit from my coaching if you cannot follow me to the rabbit hole.
If you are someone who is stuck on the level of the ground, we are not a good match: you won’t get the invisible, and you won’t get that you don’t get it.
There is a controversial saying by Charlie Munger, who said: to get what you want, you need to deserve what you want.
This is controversial, because the verb, deserve, is bastardized in our culture. What he should have said:
to have a chance to get what you want, you need to earn what you want. And then say: to earn what you want, you need to become the person who can earn what they want.
Confidence: firm trust, a sense of self, appreciation someone’s proven track record
If you look up the word in the dictionary, that is not what you find.
All dictionaries are now in step with the tendency to make words vague, not matching the reality… this word is a crucial word in your vocabulary. Unless you get this right, your chances of having a self, and thus the chance for self-confidence are between zero and none.
No one takes my Starting Point Measurements seriously. How do I know? Because I have literally haven’t had anyone ask clarifying questions about certain key concepts that will make or break you… Not even one.
70% of your life is made up of the things you do every day… your habits. The remaining 30% is what you don’t have control over.
But even that 30%, where you don’t have control over what happens: you have control over how you react, how you do what you end up doing, and what is your attitude. My next article is about that… the how of your life.
Most programs you can buy make up what to teach. Given that the average truth value of programs is around 2%, what they teach must come untried, untested, and altogether not true.
Tai’s approach (Tai Lopez, 67 steps) was different. He looked at, primarily, billionaires, secondarily at famous scientists or other authors.
The truths he gleaned from billionaires: 30% truth value, the truths he gleaned from authors: 10% truth value. Hm, interesting.
I have been holding off on delivering the promised READING class… Why?
There are so many factors that control how much you can do with the instructions I give you, that it is hard to know what I can teach to make a difference…
When you read my articles, when you listen to me (or to anyone else, by the way!) you think that you got 100%, and you maybe even think that you are smarter than me… OK, it’s not a maybe. You think you are smarter than me. And that you know everything. 3
You ask me to muscletest things… but never ask me a question that would bring some clarity into your thinking. What got you where you are is the quality of your knowledge, the quality of your thinking. All within your power… but you accept and ask for no input from me… because, you know, she is just an empath, a tool.
What takes care of you… that you can take care of?
I have told you how enamored I am with the principle “take care of what takes care of you.” 4
What I don’t elaborate about in that article, is how do you know if something takes care of you or not. How do you know if you CAN take care of something or not?
Especially because many modalities ask you to stop thinking, for example. Can you do that?
Or they ask you to think positive… don’t even sin in your thoughts, feel different, be happy, be appreciative, and things like that.
What is in your way of getting to abundance, to a life worth living? 5
People, normally, want some miracle potion, lotion, energy treatment, belief erasure, mind movies, vision boards, and many other things that they hope will give them abundance.
Or they are waiting to feel like doing something, maybe courage?
Many people, including some clients, a nephew and a niece have studied to become CPA’s.
