Category: attitudes

The age of your emotions, the age of your behavior, the age of your attitude

Human-Embryo-DevelopmentWe, humans, go through most of our evolutionary processes in the womb, but even after we are born, unlike animals, we are still in the process of becoming human… some of us will grow as high as human being. Not many.

Most of us get stuck at the attitudes, the behavior, the emotions of a young age, and continue behaving on that level of evolution… not very powerful.

In addition of it being annoying to others, and cause you not to fit in, it is as if you had a huge toolbox in your shed, but would never grow tall enough to open the door to get to the toolbox.

Some of us manage to grow out of the “young” stages, but when there is a trigger, we readily jump back and be the baby again.

Today I had this conversation with two people on two sides of this phenomenon.
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Updated: Are you at cause or are you at effect?

are-you-the-cause

Can context be cause?
Note: I wrote this article three years ago, but it is as timely as ever… It moved me then, and it moves me today… Enjoy!

This question doesn’t sound like it could make much sense, does it? But when you find out what it means, you’ll be thrilled to know that it is the panacea, the cure for most of what ails us.

By the way, Nature’s fundamental law is: Like causes cause like effects. If something you consider “cause” doesn’t work reliably, it is not a cause, it’s an effect. Like prayer, like certain remedies, like the “Law” of attraction, like thinking positively, like placebo…

The Second Phase Activators Course just finished on Sunday, and I am working on the next course. Making decisions, creating some new stuff. And a big change: I will not allow everyone to sign up, just because they want to be in it.

There are some current students who, because of their attitude, lag behind. This creates tension in the group: I spend more time trying to unstuck the unwilling or lazy ones than actually teaching stuff. (The main unwilling attitudes ‘it’s good enough for me the way it is,’ ‘why rock the boat,’ or belligerence or even hostility/resistance are the attitudes I have been experiencing and won’t tolerate in my next courses.

These people also don’t have a big enough desire to change or even to experiment, and change and experimenting are mandatory if you want to create a shift in your life to the better.)

I also needed to create changes in MY attitude to be able to believe that I can pick and choose who I want to teach. That is a long shot from where I started: accepting anyone who was willing.
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Are you a healer? How would you know?

healer-training-2The best scam people run on the internet is teaching people in classes to become a healer. Some even give certificates to teach these classes.

Before I realized what I can do, I was most interested in coaching… and the same thing is happening in the coaching industry.

I have seen “nutritionists”, Bach Remedy “specialists”, Reiki “masters” that paid some money to some Scheister to certify them to do work that they could not do.

It’s a cultural thing, not even personal.

People hide their desire to climb, to dominate over people, to be a “desire to receive for the self alone” person in do-gooding activities. Big money in teaching them. Big money if filling the world with people who think they can, but they can’t.
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Seeing the big picture… a uniquely Human Being capacity

seeing-the-bigger-picture1Why is it so difficult to see the big picture?

Seeing the big picture has three dimensions, maybe four.

  1. seeing wide: Instead of locking onto a detail, you see the environment inside which the detail is. This is possible the moment you ALLOW what is to be.
  2. seeing from high: Most things unfold over time, much like traveling on a windy river… you don’t know what is coming beyond the bend, if it is friend or foe.This is one of the problems in making things happen: it is near impossible to be prepared for eventualities you can’t predict.
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Conditioned patterns can be stubborn

1598273_1510684609157486_186667503_nI am re-learning to walk. It’s slow going, but muscletest said it would work, so I am practicing.

This morning I got this encouraging email

Hello, It’s Jonathan, just checking in to see how things are proceeding with your new ways of being.

Do you think it looks funny?

Does standing up feel like you’re leaning forward?
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Are you a match to life? If not: Allowing is missing.

Are you a match to life? If not: Allowing is missing.

whatever you don't allow is what will continueIt’s even obvious to you that allowing is missing… But how do you activate the capacity of allowing, and then how do you make the capacity a working skill?

Allowing is what’s between you and serenity. I don’t mean happiness, because happiness has its roller coaster nature: happiness has unhappiness as its shadow. You can only get happiness if you are willing to have unhappiness.

Allowing is letting it be. And although you may feel the urge to change it, fix it, kill it, hide it, hide from it, allowing is authentically allowing something to be, and gain your own beingness.

Without allowing you have no access to beingness.

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What is the capacity that is like a linchpin… if you have it you can enter the kingdom

allowing - the linchpinI am a lot like you, except not always. I am forceful with the best of them, except I am not always forceful. I can be limp and resigned, like you, except that I am not always limp and resigned.

I have mastered to a large degree the capacity “allowing.”

One of the readers says in a comment: I have been practicing dropping the pen, and yet I find no change in my attitude towards anger that I don’t want.

Dropping is forceful. Surrendering is forceful. Changing is forceful.
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The ‘you can do anything’ myth is a source of your anxiety

The ‘you can do anything’ myth is a source of your anxiety
toda;y is the day when I finally do the impossibleThe anxiety attacks you experience

There are two types of anxiety attacks, as far as I can see:

  1. Dark Side attack. It is an energy that is broadcasted from up North. It is “in the air” and it only waits for you to notice.Then your reaction to it makes it more real, and also last longer than the energy duration would make it justifiable.I have written about this a lot.
  2. Your unrealistic expectations of yourself
If I wanted to design a system for unhappiness

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How to beat the “I don’t know what to do…” and “I don’t know how…”

A combination of enthusiasm with a lack of experience meant that Steve was always leaping to contusions.I have ten unfinished articles on my desktop. It doesn’t feel I have enough to say in any of them to make them a real article.

This one is starting out the same way, to become an unfinished article. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to make it a good article.

The base of this article an insight I had just now, five minutes ago.

The situation was: I have been screwing up everything I touched today. Watch my language, by the way.

So, I told myself: “Don’t be a jumping jack. Look before you leap.”

I closed my eyes, and I heard the little voice say: “I don’t know what to look at!” Whiny tone, imagine a 3 year old saying it.
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