Dilettante, amateur or master — audio blog

transcript, thank you legrande

Still worried. 🙁 Here’s my mitzvah for the day if you want to use it.

(I made slight edits for flow.)

DILETTANTE OR MASTER? 9/29/18

(I’m not used to doing audio blogs. If no one’s listening, it’s hard for the words to come. It’s hard to be silently brilliant but it’s also hard to be brilliant when no one’s listening)

Yesterday I went out to my daily walk. Two doors down from where I live, there is a park where people bring their dogs. I see a dude with two dogs and at some point, the dogs start towards me. One of them–a big one–jumps on me. I lost my balance. I think I tripped on my own leg and started to fall. To break my fall (because I was falling smack towards the curb), I held out my hand which is a no-no for me because I pretty much would rather die than not be able to work.

I broke my hand. I cut my arm and have this huge bruise on my forehead­–but no concussion. I will look funny for a couple of weeks but my head is okay. I had some major nausea afterwards (which indicates that it wasn’t that easy on my head).

I couldn’t fall asleep till 4 am or whatever it was. It was so painful. I decided twenty years of not taking headache medication was enough. I took some headache medication­ for my arm. I then I had the good idea to use a piece of wood to stabilize my arm. I didn’t go to a doctor. The owner of the dogs offered but I don’t have insurance. Going to the emergency room is out of my budget (I don’t know how much it costs but anything is beyond my budget).

So I’m here–it’s the next day. I’m already drinking my second cup of coffee. I am having lots of insights about not having use of my left arm for typing, making coffee, wearing any clothes, going to the bathroom…all very interesting.

One of the insights is “how you do anything is how you do everything.” That is pretty much about your attitude.

My attitude is I am 100% responsible for everything that happens to me. I won’t press charges against the dog owner–he may be legally responsible but that is not my problem, that’s his. It’s my life and I’m going to take care of it.

That is my relationship to life, that I am responsible for all of it–which means it is my job to be well, no matter what happens to me.
On the surface, I may not be well. I am in pain. I don’t have use of my left arm blah blah blah. Yet, I pretty much can do anything I need to do. Maybe not anything that I want to do­–for example, I can’t touch type because you need two hands for that.
This morning, I used an Italian espresso machine. In order to use it, you need to look and see what part of your biology can replace another hand. Are you going to use your face, your chin, your thighs, your knees…what are you going to do?! How are you going to make life seamless, even though something is taken from you?
The interesting thing is the more skills you have in something­–anything, the more skills you have in life. But when I watch people, they are not skilled in anything. They are not good at anything. Honestly.
So why aren’t they good at anything? Because they never considered that taking something to the level of mastery is how they can be responsible for their life. They do things but they never consider practicing it or changing how they do it until they are masterful at it. It could be anything: how you change your bed sheets, how you do your laundry, how you chop onions, how you cook, how you make coffee…anything. Because if something happens, you are shit out of luck because now you are completely unable to live life.
This gist of what I want to say: the attitude of bringing excellence. Unless you take it to mastery, you don’t have anything.

For example, I used to have this workshop­–the StrengthsFinder workshop from “What Color is Your Parachute?” It helped people to see what skills they already have so that they can build on that. You find skills through stories of projects that you were successful at and enjoyed doing. I worked with 30, 40 people and I haven’t found not even one person who really mastered any skill.

You are satisfied with so-so and of course, your results are so-so.

Your life is so-so.

You come to me hoping for a better life without changing your relationship to life. You don’t change your “how you anything is how you do everything” attitude.

Amazing.

They call the person who has some sense of how to do something a dilettante, which is a French word for amateur.

Dilettante: a person who cultivates an area of interest, such as the arts, without real commitment or knowledge.

Dilettante is a state of development where you don’t put enough energy, enough care or enough conscious learning to become an expert. And then you want to live the life of an expert with a dilettante skillset.

That’s what I wanted to say. I’ll be making more of these audio blogs throughout the day.

note: it i skill-finder, not strength finder. fundamental difference

We all want to feel motivated. But we are all taught the wrong way

We all want to feel motivated. But we are all taught the wrong way

inner or intrinsic motivationInner motivation vs. Outer motivation… choose! Being motivated inwardly or outwardly. By returning to inner motivation you return to the childlike joy you remember so fondly…

Real motivation is like inspiration: being pulled into doing something, instead of being pushed into efforting and trying and all the horizontal plane feelings: having to, needing to, wanting to, and should. These are not present when you are motivated: you are just doing what you are doing because it’s fun, because it is interesting, because it is there to do… for its own sake. Continue reading “We all want to feel motivated. But we are all taught the wrong way”

Is there such a thing as perfect integrity?

Is there such a thing as perfect integrity?

Can you achieve perfection? Can you always do the right thing? Is there such a thing as perfect integrity? Can you have 100% truth value?

 

As you may know, I live by principles, here is one of the principles… more to come in this article: Continue reading “Is there such a thing as perfect integrity?”

Floundering? Don’t know why nothing seems to work?

Floundering? Don’t know why nothing seems to work?

Floundering? Can’t seem to get from A to B? Don’t know why nothing seems to work?

Maybe you feel clueless? Maybe you feel left behind?

Here is MY clueless story…

I have been asking questions more than normal.

In the past seven years, my site’s readership WAS steadily growing… until a month or two ago when it dropped to approximately half of what it was at that point.

It didn’t, or better English, hasn’t effected my income, but it looked troubling enough to start asking questions.

The pull to ask why questions is tremendous… Why me, why now, why people don’t like me?

Meh… But what other questions can I ask?

Now, that is a really useful question: what other questions can I ask? Continue reading “Floundering? Don’t know why nothing seems to work?”

I don’t want to be judged! you cry. But YOU judge everything and everyone…

Why would you think that someone will judge you? Simple… you have already judged yourself.

But why would you? Not everyone judge themselves. I, for example, don’t… or not often at all. I often assess myself, my behavior, my looks, my stuff… but assessment does not carry condemnation in it, and it doesn’t carry praise in it either.

What is the difference between judgment and assessment 1 ?

The main difference is fixed mindset.

In judgment, the judging person lives as if there were a fixed good or bad, smart or stupid, right or wrong. And then they act as if they were assigned the job of judging…

So a high fixed mindset plus arrogance, superiority, plus high desire/low ambition numbers.

I have found that people with this combination are unable, unwilling, or resistant to do the work of the Playground. Continue reading “I don’t want to be judged! you cry. But YOU judge everything and everyone…”

The price of comfort is weakness, cowardice, putz

The price of comfort is weakness, cowardice, putz

Where did this humanity-wide phenomenon of being so weak… living like a putz come from?

Putz: putz
noun
1. a stupid or worthless person.
2. vulgar slang: a limp dick.
verb: putz; engage in inconsequential or unproductive activity.
origin: 1960s: Yiddish, literally ‘penis.’

I meant to share student essays on how self-created rules keep them alienated from themselves, keep them playing safe and dead… not joyful, not accomplished, not living a life worth living.

Then I changed my mind.

I had two calls, where I was training, each, a person to take on a practice to activate the capacity to be with unpleasant, bothersome, disturbing feelings and actions. To be a MAN…

This capacity used to be active in humans… but because of the widespread positive thinking and comfort: society now deems these situations, these feelings, these actions undesirable.
Continue reading “The price of comfort is weakness, cowardice, putz”

How to find your real self… Stop honoring your false self

How to find your real self… Stop honoring your false self

As I have written before, the book I am reading now is the Metaskills.

The author is a designer, and looks at life through a designer’s glasses.

The article “You live in a world of your own design” is one of the favorite articles on my site. People want to design their lives.

The popularity of the program, Mind Movies builds on that desire to design… but the requirements for design are not there, not there for 99.99% of humanity… What is there is something else, something that doesn’t allow for design.

The basics of being a designer is what is most missing in life… if you really look, you can see it. Continue reading “How to find your real self… Stop honoring your false self”

Kick with one foot at a time or fall on your arse

Kick with one foot at a time or fall on your arse

‘You can only kick with one foot at a time, Otherwise you fall on your arse.’

You can only pick one thing that you want out of life, and if you pick the wrong thing, you’ll never be successful.
…Joel Salatin said, ‘the worst thing in life is to get older and realize you got good at the wrong thing.’

You would think that the title is about multi-tasking. But it isn’t. It is a life that is un-integrated.

So what is an integrated life? Continue reading “Kick with one foot at a time or fall on your arse”

How to take care of your emotions, the emotions that take care of you?

What takes care of you… that you can take care of?

I have told you how enamored I am with the principle “take care of what takes care of you.” 2

What I don’t elaborate about in that article, is how do you know if something takes care of you or not. How do you know if you CAN take care of something or not?

  • Especially because many modalities ask you to stop thinking, for example. Can you do that?
  • Or they ask you to think positive… don’t even sin in your thoughts, feel different, be happy, be appreciative, and things like that.
Do you have the power to take care of those?

Continue reading “How to take care of your emotions, the emotions that take care of you?”

Unhappy? Bored? So-so? Read this article…

Unhappy? Bored? So-so? Read this article…

principles or privileges? chooseDrifting? Aimless? Unhappy? Bored? So-so? Read this article…

I just watched two book reviews of the same book, Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt.  Why? Because I wanted to get the gist of it, without having to chew 300 pages plus.

But I am still interested to hear the principles, in 10 minutes instead of 10 hours… wouldn’t you?

The two reviews differed vastly, because of the reviewers. Continue reading “Unhappy? Bored? So-so? Read this article…”