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Pulling your anchor to doom the new way is a profound experience. Life changing. For the client, and often for me.
So what is the new way?
The old way focused on emotions. But because all emotions arise as the consequence of words, words that give the backdrop, the attitude, it is more productive to look through the words, and the words that say what you want particularly.
So that is the new way, looking through the words of what you WANT…
That want is the anchor to your doom.
And what is the doom? The doom is the unproductive, unhappy, joyless life pursuing your want condemns you. Yeah.
To do this work I have to be completely in someone else’s body, having their thoughts, having their sensations, having their emotions… while having my own thoughts at the same time.
It is bilocation, but not the driftwood kind. The driftwood is separation, detachment. This is merging. Making me the Observer from within.
So as I was working on a long time client’s anchor, I had to go through all that emotional storm the client has to live in, poor thing.
And yeah, that was the first thing: compassion. Instead of judgment. Instead of feeling superior to her.
I do the anchor-pulling only in the morning. And preferably only AFTER I prime myself to be KIND.
Kind is my Achilles heel… I have an unkind, self-justified soul correction.
So I listened to a podcast that was one of the most life-affirming things ever, self-compassion galore, by Robert and Lance… my one time teachers. Beautiful people.
And then read this little story that literally made me weep.
Here is the story:
Every month Martin’s parents took a trip to see Grandma and came home on the same train the next day. One day the child said to his parents:
‘I’m already grown up. Can I go to my grandma’s alone?’
After a brief discussion, his parents accepted. They stood with him as he waited for the train to exit. They said goodbye to their son and gave him some tips through the window. Martin repeated to them:
‘I know. I’ve been told this more than a thousand times.’
As the train was about to leave, his father whispered in his ear:
‘Son if you feel bad or insecure, this is for you!’
And he put something in his pocket.
Now Martin was alone, sitting on the train as he had wanted, without his parents for the first time.
He was admiring the landscape out the window. Around him some unknowns pushed themselves in. They made a lot of noise. They got in and out of the train car. The conductor made some comments about him being alone. One person looked at him with eyes of sadness.
Martin was feeling more uneasy with every minute that passed. And now he was scared. He felt cornered and alone. He put his head down, and with tears in his eyes, he remembered his dad had put something in his pocket. Trembling, he searched for what his father had given him. Upon finding the piece of paper he read it:
‘Son, I’m in the last train car!’
Yeah, having compassion, without flinging superiority on the other is heartwarming for all concerned.
And what is better than have your heart warmed by an interaction? Anything? No. Nothing.
Faking it doesn’t do the same. So all those gurus, instead of warming your heart, cause you to have doubt in your heart: am I being duped? At least I do.
Trust is probably more vulnerable than love. At least as far as I am concerned.
Back to pulling the anchor: what I found is new to me, and surprised me.
She, the client WANTS to be EXEMPT from having to do what it takes to get what she wants.
What is special about this want is that she knows that she is not due that exemption. So she is not entitled. A rarity. She feels weak… But she isn’t.
Now that I pulled that want, wanting to be exempt, her fear moved to her solar plexus where also her strength is.
Is this how it works for everyone? No. It all depends on the want and its motivation.
Anyway, if you think you are ready for a shift, having the anchor pulled, focusing on the want, is your path. It only pulls the anchor, the rest is up to you.
Some people will ignore it, ignore that the want was pulled. So I am happy for the people who don’t. Who will accept that it is their most basic wants that make them miserable. And start moving… no more anchored to misery. I am weeping again.
Just please remember: underneath all wants, ALL wants you’ll find the fear of being nothing. So all wants are wants to avoid being nothing.
While all joy comes from being nothing.
Get your Want anchor pulled
