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The art and science of getting unstuck… aka ALLOWING
Can I really promise that I’ll take you to freedom? That I can take you to unstuck and moving?
It may be that I have bit off more than I can chew.
This feeling of being stuck, maybe even being trapped, the inability to move, the feeling that there is no place to go…
I just got this email from the Author of Feelings, and Words, and recently of Worlds…
From my vantage point, this ‘being stuck’ is a symptom of ‘need for effective action’ is a real need that for most people is unfulfilled. When we want to move somewhere, but we don’t see that we can, we don’t see that we are allowed, we don’t see that we have enough talent or enough energy to do so. ~ Margoczi
The way he says it: the lack of movement, even though there is sense that movement is needed. Needed by the person, not the circumstance.
That ‘I am not at the right place, not doing the right thing‘ feeling. Horrible… devastating.
The feelings is that we can’t do what we would need to do because the freedom to do is missing. Or the talent and ability is missing. Or the energy to do what we’d like to do is missing.
His message adds a lot of shades to this whole topic of ‘stuck’.
And you can see, his message adds to the feeling that we are not free. No matter how many degrees we have, no matter how many companies we own, no matter who our spouse is… The feeling is that we are somehow entrapped by all those missings… like Gulliver in Lilliput got entrapped by those flimsy threads.
None of the threads that holds us hostage is strong enough, but the many threads seem to tie up securely to the ‘trap’.
My hunch is that my challenge isn’t to see that it all goes back to the need to be special and unique. My challenge, I think, will be to make you see it.
That as long as you think that real, as long as you think that valid, I cannot help you. I cannot help you to liberate yourself. To do what you see fit to do. To see that all those threads you blame that hold you back are not real. That for someone who isn’t special, who doesn’t entertain the idea that they should already know something they don’t, of be already somewhere where they aren’t BECAUSE they are special, for someone like that it is no problem to do what they see to do.
One student who years ago allowed me to guide her to do collages, really elaborate collages to activate her Sight capacity writes today:
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Dear Sophie,
I have been seeing wrong, especially wrong because I don’t know things. I am learning to set up new machines. My mentor/trainer said to my boss that I learn differently from her previous student. Slower. I am slower. I made it wrong. But looking at it, when it is wrong, I don’t want to review and work at it. It tangles me up, in wrongness and judgement, because I should know how to do it.
So I said, I don’t know how to do it, someone else was faster. My internal dialogue ‘Well fuck them. I am almost 62 and I has the guts to take this job, I can learn what I don’t know. Why are you competing with someone you don’t know, getting tangled up. Fuck this and learn it.’
The boss talked to me. I said I need more practice, but I can learn this. They moved me to another shift so I can get more practice.
After looking at it, seeing how I expect to know everything. .. .it helped me to allow. After this I was able to watch a video and review the process.
I look and see this ‘l should know this’ a lot. I do this and it becomes a massive block. Because I should know this, I don’t review, put in the work to learn it, because I should know this.
Allowing myself to step aside from ‘l should know this’ and making myself wrong, gives me a space to learn.
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When we look at people, see what they do. See how they do what they do. Or see how they are when they don’t do what they don’t do… We only see the surface and the surface doesn’t help. Because on the surface people are lazy, stupid, belligerent. But that is just the appearance.
Like the duck
Like the duck or swan look majestic and floating on the lake… As if they were lighter than water. But what keeps them up is the feverish activity of the webbed feet under the surface of the water.
Same with sharks… they need to swim, or they sink and die.
So when we look at humans, even if that human is ourselves, we need to go deeper and look deeper at the feverish activity to prevent sinking.
Sinking? Yeah.
For a human being special is like oxygen. Without the human, like the shark not moving, will die. Inside, where it matters most.
And if you look, most people are walking dead. Resigned, hopeless, just going through the motions.
One of the things I see on my daily visits to Reddit is that when the important things of life are gone, the human goes to unimportant albeit pleasurable things, like kittens, like mildly interesting, or mildly upsetting things.
Distraction from the empty darkness of the inner space… vast and depressing. Hopeless.
Some time ago I did a ‘spiritual surgery’ for those who wanted it enough to pay big bucks for it.
Why make people pay a pretty penny? Because the common theory is that the more you pay the more you, maybe, value what you get.
It turned out to be not true…
The spiritual surgery included turning off the two entitlement genes that children NEED so they allow the parent to take care of their needs… however they see it fit.
Both entitlement genes are programmed to turn off around age 6 or 7 so the child can start taking care of their own needs at a certain point.
I am observing ‘my’ raccoons… and I see the same thing, so this is not unique for humans, that the entitlement genes are there and then they are not there.
But for some reason the entitlement genes for humans don’t obey the program and continue to operate… keeping humans needy children.
Needy children
Needy children will not go for what they want, for what they need. They expect them to be provided. by some good, by the universe, by other people, by society.
And for a human with even just one of those genes still active, the slogan I like ‘If it is to be it is up to me’ will not work… because they never learned to do that, be that… the entitlement gene interfered.
So the most important part of that spiritual surgery was to turn off, ask Source to turn off those pesky entitlement genes.
But what we have learned of those on/off DNA nodes is that you can keep them active by using them…
So for most people one of the entitlement genes came back and is still active.
So this entitlement gene is the one that keeps the ‘I am special’ idea so incredibly harmful.
How does it work?
The truth is that we are all unique, so what? It doesn’t entitle you for anything.
You won’t automatically know what you don’t know. You can’t do what you have never done. You will actually need to do what ‘ordinary’, ‘dime a dozen’ people do to have anything, know anything, accomplish anything.
So what the entitlement gene suggests that you are so special that you should be able to know how to do anything just by thinking about it, hearing about it, reading about it, is humbug. Is a lie. And it is a trap. It keeps you stuck.
Those clients and student who managed to keep both their entitlement genes off are now able to remove much of the blockage to movement.
The blockage to movement is what we call STUCK.
Now, one would expect that people with no entitlement genes active, like myself, would have to deal with, would have to manage the sense of entitlement, but it isn’t so.
For example, when I listen in, I hear the following a lot: ‘I shouldn’t have to do that’. I shouldn’t have to market, I shouldn’t have to learn how to get my stuff out to more people. People should just flock to me because what I have can save them from misery.’
Yeah, but that is not how life works.
So as you can see, even after the pesky entitlement genes stay out of your way, you still have to dance with life, the way life dances, not the way you like to dance.
I hope this communicates.
Does it?
Now that I have DUMPED all this on you, what should you do?
Just one more thing: When I hear the internal whining voice that says: I shouldn’t have to, I allow it. I allow it to say whatever it says. I allow it to whine. I don’t fight with it. I consider it noise. Not a noise I want, but a noise I HAVE. Like the rain, like the raccoons, like anything that is beyond my control. Because it is, they are all beyond my control.
I take a few deep breaths and then I do what the voice says I shouldn’t have to do. About 30% of the time. And about 70% of the time I just let go of it… and I just don’t do it.
I feel the tension melt away…
If it doesn’t, I look what it is I didn’t allow to be.
Is it what the voice said I should have to do is hard? OK, it’s f-ing hard. Or maybe it is the wrong thing to do? OK, I’ll find out and if it is the wrong thing to do, I will not do more of it. That I don’t have time to do it? OK, that is a difficult one.
Am I willing to not do some of the things I am already doing, and do this instead? Will that be enough? I won’t have to do forever, only for a few days, maybe weeks… Am I willing to do that? Yes. But the tension is still there. OK, I feel the inner weeping. Doing what I ‘shouldn’t have to do’ will say I am not special. lol.
Am I willing to give myself that I am special even if I have to do what ORDINARY people have to do? That I am special because I am me. But it entitles me for nothing. Not a thing…
Yes. I can do that.
And now all the tension is gone, and I am so tired I am ready to go back to sleep… lol. But I have freed myself, for now, from this trap of being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
In some way being stuck in the rip-current is a lot like people treat being stuck.
For those hitting the ocean and waves this summer.
This is really simple. You can spot a rip current. Unfortunately, it’s where it looks easiest and safest to enter the sea. This is because the rip current is looping around and pulling back OUT. Hence no waves rolling IN.
NEVER ENTER THE SEA HERE.
If you are already in the sea and get caught in a rip current (you’ll know because you will suddenly be moved from your location and it will be impossible to swim against it) don’t panic. Swim ACROSS, not against the rip current.
For example, rather than trying to swim to shore while being pushed out, swim parallel to the beach and you will be able to get out. Then you can swim ashore. Please educate friends or family visiting the beaches this summer. Stay safe.
The entitlement, the voice insisting that you are special is a lot like that rip current.
If you fight it, it will hold you tight and take you out to where you have no choice.
If you swim sideways, like I did in my example, you can get back to safety after a little while.
Will this ever stop?
I don’t know. I don’t think so.
And if this is how it is, you better get good at it… so you can, wherever you are, can start to have a life with power and joy… and be able to keep it that way.
PS: I am starting to see, from the lack of real response, that maybe this is not a winning topic, not a topic people will be willing to share, willing to spend time and money learning.
I think that people hope that they can remain special, and be free and happy as well.
How has it been working for you?
Admittedly this, being stuck, feelings stuck, is a big problem people don’t want to talk about but suffer from.
If you have any suggestions how to make it something you would be willing to share in polite company without being afraid of losing your reputation of being successful, happy, etc. Please comment or write me an email.
I cannot see it from here, so I need your input. Please.
PPS: In today’s Monday Morning Memo the always optimistic Roy Williams is… oops, not as optimistic as he has always been.
He is talking about sowing wind instead of wheat, and harvesting whirlwind, not wheat, is an apt analogy of what the ‘I am special’ does… Instead of harvesting results, proof, plenty, you harvest an inner whirlwind, a sense that it is all empty and futile.
PPPS: Tomorrow at 5 pm I’ll have a What’s Missing Workshop scheduled.
I’ll have it all about allowing. ALLOWING is the most missing for everyone… and the most successful people in any and every area of life are the ones who can allow, frequently, even if not always.
And the losers in every area of life, losing time, spirit, opportunities, joy, freedom, are the ones who don’t even consider allowing.
So that is what I’ll have the session about… for a nominal fee. I consider this my gift to you… and your gift to me. I really want to know how many people are interested in allowing enough to pay for it.
So I have a special coupon for you, coupon code ALLOWIT to get 66% off the regular price.
You can buy the workshop and get the recording. I promise it will be immensely useful… even if you can’t make it.
Get on this groundbreaking workshop
I am sorry, I don’t have meditation audios or pdfs for purchase… But even if I did, unless you saw that you act, speak, think as if you were entitled, not even a spiritual surgery would keep those pesky entitlement genes off.
Did I go Sophie on you?
it’s humanity-wide, although some communities are less effected, because their culture is different. ‘By nature, men are nearly alike; by culture, they get to be wide apart.’ ~ Confucious. Some cultures don’t cultivate entitlement… although some families, individuals in that culture may. Italians train their males to be very entitled, and their females to be very self-righteous. I thought I give you some reason to hate me… lol.
Another thing- does the current US climate encourage this gene? I feel like if you tell someone they’re not “awesome, perfect….” ENTITLED basically that’s an indictable offense right now. It’s uncomfortable. I do have those genes on so I get the article but sociologically speaking. It’s like … ?
This makes a TON of sense to me. I had great loving parents who admittedly spoiled me. They’re both dead so insult me if you must- not them. I don’t want someone else to forcibly turn it off for me though. I’d like to do the work myself. Ex. If you had a meditation audio or a download PDF purchase, I’d buy that. Maybe some other option? I understand they are genes to be turned off but it’s essentially playing whack-a-mole with most people, if they’re not committed, no? (Mine are both on, I’ve been measured). I’m just commenting. Don’t go Sophie on me.