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Until you get, in your bones, in your everywhere that we are in this all together, you won’t be able to look at the world differently
Last night I had a really tough time falling asleep. I was alert, my brain working overtime.
As often, I started to download the Heaven on Earth bundle… consciously, paying attention to how it lands, all 48 energies with which one resists how it is.
I noticed grief. I am not grieving… so what is? Not another person… then what? I located the grief below my left shoulder… at the seat of the soul.
The soul was grieving.
So I communed with the soul, like a good mother that I am.
The soul is like a baby or a really young child.
It wants the best… and then it is blamed for life not working for the human.
This is what I said to the soul
You are not responsible for how your human behaves: they are. Your job is to want what you want… without filter, without trying to be different. And the human’s job is to CHOOSE…
The soul was grieving because she wanted to be all good, and heard me say that it’s all bad.
And that was a real problem for the soul.
So here I am, some 9-10 hours later, doing what I promised the soul last night. I promised that I would write the article to somehow bring some peace into this area, and absolve the soul.
I said: I’ll do the best I can, I promise. Can I do better than my best?
And the soul answers: Yes.
Do better than I can? I asked to clarify
Yes, said the soul
So you see, the soul is an all-or-nothing ‘entity’, you are never good enough for it. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t strive to be better every day. It only means that your soul will always tell you that you are not good enough yet.
And if you hear that you are good enough… it is not the soul. It is the ego.
If that is what you hear, then the ego fighting for dominance is now making you smug and self-satisfied.
But being upside down, as the soul is, is not pleasant…
You see, energetically the soul is a triangle standing on its wobbly point, while the ego is a same size triangle, standing on its side… like a Golem. Heavy.
The most successful, most productive people on earth have managed to harness both, and make them work together… ROLL WITH IT.
The ego has the energy and the inertia, the soul has the demand… great team.
As inside so is outside… As above as below…
If your ego and soul don’t work together, you probably don’t have any ‘we’ in the outside world either.
And you waffle… go from soul (tortured) to ego (why should I do anything!) never amounting to much.
Now, let’s talk about desire… what the soul desires, and what the ego desires.
You think YOU are desiring, but it’s really not so… we know three kinds of desires: the desires of the body, the desires of the soul, and the desires of the ego.
- The body, the vehicle, wants what every other living thing wants: to live, to feed, to rest, to procreate, and other normal things.
- The soul wants to feel good about itself… It wants to grow, to accomplish. Do difficult things. To improve, even if it is at the expense of another…
- And the ego wants security, especially in its opinion about itself… be right, look good, so it doesn’t have to change.
None of it is good and none of it is bad. In reality there is no good and there is no bad.
While for the vehicle… that’s a whole different story. There is good, there is right, for the vehicle. Whether it is only an opinion, whether it is only a feeling, for the vehicle, for you, it’s as real as anything.
The vehicle does what the vehicle thinks best to do… And most of what the vehicle does, most of the time, produces the opposite of what they wanted.
There is a great story in one of Osho’s talks, that I am going to quote here:
Once, when the hasidim were seated together in all brotherliness, pipe in hand, Rabbi Israel joined them. Because he was so friendly they asked him, ‘Tell us, dear rabbi, how should we serve god?‘
He was surprised at the question, and replied, ‘How should I know?‘
but then he went on to tell them this story..
There were two friends of the king, and both were proved guilty of a crime.
Since he loved them the king wanted to show them mercy, but he could not acquit them because even a king’s word cannot prevail over the law.
So he gave this verdict: A rope was to be stretched over a deep chasm, and, one after another, the two were to walk across it.
Whoever reached to the other side was to be granted his life.
It was done as the king ordered, and the first of the friends got safely across.
The other, still standing on the same spot, cried to him, ‘Tell me, friend, how did you manage to cross?‘ The first called back, ‘I don’t know anything but this: whenever I felt myself toppling over to one side, I leaned to the other.’
The two sides are the desire of the soul, and the other is the desire of the ego.
Neither of them is good for you by itself… Both are like falling into the deep chasm.
But, of course, you need to have some self-awareness to be able to tell what desire is vying for your whole self, what desire will want to be fulfilled… so you can choose.
It is ALWAYS about choosing.
Most people most of the time never choose. Have never chosen. They play ‘Schmata’… doormat or dishrag in Yiddish. They pretend that they don’t have a choice. In anything.
So they live the life of the beach ball on the open see… never taking charge by choosing.
- Some are passive, some are passive aggressive.
- Others are violent, forceful, scary.
- Yet others are sneaky, oily, deceptive.
Regardless of the how, they all live a life not worth living. Until…
The trick is to take charge… but taking charge is neither passive, nor violent, or oily, or sneaky, or deceptive.
If and when you notice any of those hows above, you are not taking charge, you are already falling into the chasm… Regardless what you intended.
I have all three kinds of hows represented among my clients…
Both the soul and the ego are your teammates… even if their actions, even if their demands seem feel wrong to you.
Some of you will jerk while on the tightrope… and fall, and bruise yourselves.
Some of you will do nothing with this information… you will hide like dogshit in tall grass…
And one or two of you will discipline yourself and not react… but start where you are: start distinguishing, recognizing the different demands on you for what they are… so at some later point you can choose.
And a few of you will want to start at that later point, and become like a self-righteous whirling dervish… YOU I can’t help at all. You know who you are.
Unless you start where you are… hair trigger… I am washing my hands of you… even if you need me, even if you pay me.
Why? Because your actions work against what I need to do.
In the olden days when I regularly had healing calls, there was always one person who would try to help me… Why? Because of this hair trigger ego centered nature.
I would either ask them nicely to stop trying to help me, or I would dismiss them from the call.
I just visited that person empathically: she is as forceful today as she was ten years ago… And she is just as forceful today… with a big growing thing in her belly… because she never learned. Why? Because of all the things she thought she knew.
If she were in the Reality Challenge, instead of listing her shoulds and ponder what it would feel like if she replaced some shoulds with coulds… She, instead, would force the coulds… finish the sentence. ALREADY KNOW… no looking is necessary.
Yeah, that is what I am talking about. Sigh.
If you don’t want to be where you are… then we are not a good match… and you won’t be accepted.
Repeating mistakes is the result of not distinguishing, not recognizing the one side… Doing the same thing again, expecting a different result.
I am not going there…
PS: If you want the mildest, gentlest and least expensive training, it is the Reality Challenge.
Currently there is an quasi advanced group who started three weeks ago, and a new ‘group’ that you can ‘join’… There is no joining. If you don’t do the work, I’ll first warn you and then I remove you.
The first assignment in the Reality Challenge is an awareness exercise: you are asked to catch and document the should and shouldn’t statements that you either hear or feel telling you what to do or what not to do.
Daily. DAILY.
It needs to be a spiritual practice, or it’s worthless. Meaning: will result in nothing gained.
The first ten days are free… and then it is $20 (for now) thereafter.
The emails to me should not be long-winded. If you abuse our relationship, then I’ll first warn you and then remove you.
Get into the Reality Challenge
