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What you see is what you see. What someone sees when they look at what you are looking at, likely that they will see something else.
Some two decades ago I participated in a two-hour workshop where the leader began with asking the audience what color the notepad she held in her hand was… Obviously it was white. And every moron could see that it was white.
But then she flipped it over, and now we saw her side, and it was brown cardboard… Darn…
I just learned something. I have stopped arguing then and there…
Also, depending on how you look at something, it has two, or many facets…
Like that notepad, it had a front and it had a back… Or a thing can have many, like a good nourishing, tasty dish at just the right temperature. Or like a human… many virtues, faults, many facets.
Everything has many facets, at least if you look at it from the higher paradigms.
The two-facet view belongs to the ditch… it is long but narrow. The many belongs to the planes. Forests. Lakes and oceans. You don’t see far, but you can go into any direction, 360 degrees in fact. The infinite belongs to the mountains, the clouds, the very high.
You can look at life, your life through any of your views… it only depends on where you live… And what you see will depend on where you look from. One view is that life is like the Valley of the Shadow of Death. Another is that life is a celebration. That it is a gift that you can grow or fritter away. Same life… different views.
But ultimately your view comes from your paradigm. The systemic, the extrinsic, or the intrinsic paradigm.
The dictionary says: A paradigm is a standard, a perspective, or a set of ideas. A paradigm is a way of looking at something.
In LINGUISTICS it is a set of linguistic items that form mutually exclusive choices in particular syntactic roles.
and another definition I found: So, a paradigm is a shared set of understandings, conceptions, interpretations, and beliefs. They are held in common by a significantly large community. It is a core way of thinking about some aspect of our world, or experience.
You don’t have a lot of freedom in what paradigm you live in. You cannot even see a higher paradigm from your own. Like the fish doesn’t see land. Can’t imagine living, can’t imagine abiding by the rules of land. And a man cannot see, cannot live in, cannot abide by the rules of the paradigm of the air.
A paradigm can be likened to a glass floor in a building. This floor and the ceiling are one-way mirrors… so you cannot see what’s going on on the upper floors… And the floor is also a one-way mirror… although when you look down, at the happenings in the lower floor, you’ll interpret everything by the rules of your own floor.
Each floor has its own rules, own laws, own customs. Its own worldview.
As you can see I am having a real hard time explaining… But for shortness’ sake, I adapt the dictionary definition: A paradigm is a standard, perspective, or set of ideas. A paradigm is a way of looking at something.
And in this article we’ll look at paradigm only from the vantage point: how many facets do things, people, events have?
In the systemic paradigm the number is two.
In the extrinsic paradigm they have plenty.
And, finally in the intrinsic paradigm the number is infinite.
Roughly eight billion people live in the systemic paradigm.
The main question in the systemic paradigm: Is it good? Is it bad?
And even though, like in a tree, you can ask about any part of the tree, the roots, the trunk, the branches, the leaves, the fruit, the question is yet the same: Is it good? Is it bad?
No chance for questions like:is it useful? does it work? does it lead to love, or peace, or a good life?
No chance.
And because the chances that I’ll get a client who is not part of the eight billion is between slim and none, all my clients, all my readers, all my students are part of the eight billion.
In common parlance, looking only through good/bad, right/wrong is called judgment.
So the systemic paradigm is called the systemic judgment paradigm. The only two VALUES are good or bad…
Or something and its opposite. Or-ness is another name for this paradigm. Either you or me.
It is nearly futile to try to lift someone’s view out of that paradigm… even though Source says it’s possible.
The highest vibration in that paradigm is 200. So the people who occasionally or maybe permanently have a higher vibration than that are partially out of the systemic judgment paradigm…
Only when a person reaches 700 vibration is when they are fully out of the right/wrong binary judgment…
Why would it be important to attempt, to work towards lifting yourself out of the binary judgment paradigm?
Well, why? Really…
When I look at people what I see that the paradigm, the binary switch makes their lives impoverished, where there are no degrees to things, no dimensions, no richness, no fullness, no joy and no smoothness.
Life in the binary judgment’s paradigm is chunky, clunky, and torturous.
You judge and you are judged. The only two options is to be OK or not OK. To be free or not free. To be smart or not smart. To be successful or a loser.
Devastation is threatening every minute of every day.
—Just look at these elections… Every result feels like elation or devastating loss. Life or death.
Again: No shades, nothing in between.
The mood, the emotions, the language all reflect the binary switch.
—I have an interesting demonstration: the student of mine who wants to be entertaining is, at my request, making tiktok videos of facial expression. That was his assignment.
If you watch his videos, each has a range: from one end to the other… like a pendulum. No middle ground, no richness of expression… from elation to despair, from nothing to crying, from nothing to sobbing…
Swinging like a monkey… no person, no richness, no consciousness…
—And a third example is a student’s who is occasionally, like a fish that jumps out of water, can see some shades of gray, but not when it comes to her own life.
The 67-step coaching program takes people on a guided journey to the world of the extrinsic paradigm. In the extrinsic paradigm the emphasis is expressed in the typical question:
Is it building the good life? Health, wealth, love and fulfillment.
Usefulness, beneficial, smart… Building. Process. Becoming.
In the extrinsic paradigm everything leads to something… everything.
So to the degree you ask this question (is it building the good life?), to the degree you evaluate an action, a thing, a person, a phenomenon through these questions, to the same degree you are outside of the binary paradigm. And to the same degree your vibration is higher than 200.
One of my past business coaches managed to lift himself to 220 recently. What happened is that he managed to consider that his private actions lead to usefulness for the company. He just added one dimension, usefulness, to right and wrong. Then I think he added fun as his second dimension… Is it fun? Do I, can I enjoy it? and maybe the third: does it build something, or help building something?
One of the areas of life where I can see the limiting aspect of the paradigm is the area of skills.
In the binary, you can either do something or you can’t. You can either do something well, or cannot do it at all..
It can be anything. And when you look at a skill, in the binary paradigm it doesn’t feel like it has anything to do with anything other than itself, or the job you are doing…
You cannot see an activity as having parts, elements, that make it a skill, make it portable, transferable. You cannot see that using the skill can be enjoyable. Fast. Time saving. Future building. Self-building.
Your view stops at the thing… and you can’t see the consequences, the outfall, the results beyond the job.
One other interesting thing I discovered a few minutes ago.
I have been somewhat obsessing about my neighbors across the street. They have been spending a week here and a week somewhere else. And I obsessively track whether they are here or not here.
Why do I give a shit, I asked myself, when I saw them pulling out just a few minutes ago. And suddenly I heard Source saying: Because you have to give a shit about something. Hah… yeah.
I musclested my students, and found out that those who don’t see, can’t even imagine life beyond the binary, beyond the ditch, don’t give a shit about anything.
Giving a shit about something or someone is what makes humans human.
When I ask you to look, you don’t see beyond… Beyond the ditch. Beyond yourself. And you are puzzled. What must I be seeing that I am excited about you, for practicing riding the unicycle, or chopping onions. Or making faces, or feeling your facial muscles. Or pretty much anything beyond what the thing is… so what?
When I force you to look, something interesting happens: your vibration drops, and it drops tremendously.
You become a moron, because your entire world is threatened…
That is what I meant when I was talking about the quality of life I was talking about above. That you go from peace to devastation, from elation to devastation at the drop of a hat.
In the right/wrong paradigm being wrong is always just one tiny step away… And it is always threatening… So much that you are not free to be yourself, because what if you did and it turned out that you are bad…
I must confess, I am clueless as to what you would have to do to get out of the ditch of the binary.
My hunch is that you need to see that it’s worth the effort before you would do anything.
- One contributor to it being worth the effort is the pain of being devastated so easily… and spending so much of your time in devastation. Misery. I call that the ‘jet engine’ of pushing.
- Another element of ‘it’s worth it’ is a desire: wanting to be all you can be. Wanting full expression. Wanting to feel the wind in your hair, dance, and feel free. To love life. To live a life you love and live it powerfully…
- I also had a third element, essentially part of the jet engine that pushes: shame.
Shame as a jet-engine force
I remember when I discovered that I can only see one thing about people: that they are smart or stupid. I even related to myself that way: Me too: I was at any moment either smart of stupid. Never anything more.
I could not see any redeeming value. Could not see courage as valuable. Could not see diligence, loyalty, loving, kind, socially adept, beautiful, gracious and graceful as valuable… None of that.
And I remember the deep shame I felt. A shame that put a bug up my arse… and I diligently started to distinguish for myself what I had seen as no valuable before.
And as I did it, my world got bigger, my appreciation for life got bigger, and I got happier. At some point I started to see the humor in everything.
I am 100% out of the black and white. 70% out of the extrinsic: the worldly values. There is an even higher paradigm, where things, people, events have infinite dimensions and facets.
Some people talk a good talk. But when no one listens, in their own private world, they are 100% stuck in black and white.
Politicians with their silver tongue… Although seeing some of the politicians around the election circus, they are gaining ground, especially one political party, with a pure right/wrong, black and white rhetoric… Because it resonates more with the people who live on that level.
Muscletested the average American’s vibration just now… It is 70. And the average intelligence is, today, 50.
Oy vey.
Where does the energy to climb up come from?
If you blame others, if you blame the circumstances, if you blame yourself for being miserable, then your jet-engine energy is weak. You need to specify that it is your worldview, your paradigm that is the issue, and that it is your choice really where you live. Your worldview is your choice.
This became clear to me 22 years ago, in the year 2000.
It was August and it was hot and muggy in New Jersey where I lived at the time. I hated hot, I hated muggy. And felt resentful about the weather. And then and there, I got that if I really hated hot and muggy, I would move.
That if I really gave a shit about hot and muggy… then I would have a choice.
And if I didn’t move, then I didn’t really care. And if that is the case, then I can just choose to have hot and muggy and stop complaining about it.
The following year I moved. I moved to where I live now. It is occasionally hot and muggy here too… But by now I had the distinction that I CHOSE to move here, and I can choose every time it’s hot and muggy for it to be the way it is.
That: ‘move or choose it to be the way it is‘ has been my most transformative decision EVER.
My vibration was 200 when I moved. And it is 999 now…
If I could point to just one thing that practicing it over and over on different aspects of life lifted me up where I am, it is this decision: choosing to move or choose it to be the way it is.
My jet energy is very strong… so I’ve chosen to ‘move’ 90% of the time. And chose things to be the way they are 10% of the time. But I always chose… meaning: I’ve chosen to call the shot.
I am not a victim of anything.
Whatever pretends to be cause, illness, the weather, politics, services, availability of things, my age, mice, fleas, mites… I either choose to move myself, or I choose for it to be the way it is.
Move is always real… It can stand for changing a habit, changing a behavior, changing an attitude.
So here you are. Now you have the whole methodology.
People ask: how do you do it? And the answer is: I do it. There is no how. Just choose it or move.
And the same ‘there is no how’ applies to climbing out of your debilitating judgmental paradigm.
You can’t fix it, because it is not wrong. It is what it is, it allows what it allows.
You want out of it? You need to start climbing.
The 67 step coaching is a great ladder.
It plays out entirely in the extrinsic paradigm… so to be able to even see it, you need to start looking outside of your ditch…
You will if you think it’s worth it. If living in the ditch is bad enough for you. If you can see that outside of the ditch it would be better for you.
And if you don’t then you won’t.
I have seven people in my core group.
- Two of them see it, 100%, that it would not be better for them outside of the ditch.
- One is on the fence. 70% certain that it wouldn’t be better.
- And four have only 10% doubt that it would be better outside of the ditch.
They got to where they are through extensive training.
The general population is at a different place: They are on average 97% certain that there is no thinking that would make them happier. So they think of having as a way to get happier… Having money, having health, having love.
There are plenty of people, who somehow know that there is a way to think that would make them happier.
Unfortunately most of them were taught positive thinking, and positive thinking is an in the ditch thinking…
It robs a person 100% of considering that they could take on being responsible (cause), that responsibility could be their access to their personal power, not thinking positive thoughts.
Anyway, this turned out to be a real long article, I apologize.
What’s going on in Sophie’s world?
I am still thinking of starting an individual/group coaching program where people, through working on projects, lift themselves from the ditch of the binary, judgmental paradigm into where productivity, managing things and people including yourself is a value.
But in the meantime you should ponder what would you be up to if you could move outside of the limited world of the binary.
Tomorrow’s open mic call so far is a bust… no takers. So how about you sign up to the Moneyroots workshop and we discuss how your money is limited by the paradigm you live in. Not just the quantity, not just how you make it, but how much you can enjoy it or not. That workshop will be priceless… I can feel it.
See how the paradigm limits your money powerLastly, one of the interesting things I saw on my one-time coach, the one whose vibration is now 220 is this: he is ranting less, and looking at what is his to do more. So not everything looks like, feels like it is against him, obstructing his way.
