We are definitely dealing with something that feels like an uncatchable ball.
We find something and it turns out not to be THE BALL… and we need to go and find another ball to catch… but instead of being able to catch it, it slips out of our grasp.
Why are we even trying?
Because unless and until we catch it and have it in our grasp, firmly, our lives cannot change, our performance cannot change, we cannot really get to where we love ourselves, love our lives, and live it powerfully.
This uncatchable ball is small, slippery, and evasive.
And we want to catch it… If nothing else, I am tenacious… And so help me god, I’ll catch it. Identify it, if it takes me a hundred articles… I will. For you, and for me.
This article is an attempt to catch it… The next article is already written and will come out later today…
I have been working longer hours than usual, listening to recorded courses of mine. Reading old articles of mine.
Increasing the intensity and listening to older already forgotten courses has done me good: I am seeing some questions I haven’t been asking.
How much energy you have to do the work to go to the next level. Is the machine stronger than your desire to be free to be yourself? Well? Productive? Happy?
How do the Kabbalistic terms fit in with the ‘invisible dynamics’ like the racket?
What does Source really want?
Human culture pulls toward self-righteous attitudes, where people have an illusion that life should go their way. That other people should conform to their requirements.
I remember when this pull broke for me.
It came from a simple, innocent sounding question: What would life be like if everyone were like me?
I looked. And I was mortified to see that life would be worse than it is…
What makes life move, what makes good TV shows is the villains, not the good guys. The conflicts. The arguments. And the seemingly bad moves.
I have been watching ‘Pie in The Sky’, a British TV show that had five seasons, the last season was in 1997… More than two decades ago.
Henry Crabbe is a lot like me. His arch-nemesis is a nincompoop, ACC Freddy Fisher. But without ambitious and cowardly Freddy Fisher we (1) wouldn’t have a great entertaining show, and (2) we would never see Henry Crabbe catch hidden criminals… maybe EVER.
So yeah, the world is perfect by having all kinds… and yet.
Look again, and re-populate the Earth with people just like you in your imagination.
If people were just like you, then life would be full of nincompoops, little tyrants, fixing machines, boasting incompetents… the imagined world is different for each person, of course.
And you can see that life would not be better. It would be filled with people who, in YOUR unique way ignore how life wants to be. Who try to force life and reality to be according to their requirements…
Life is the way life is… and it is YOUR job to adjust your thinking, adjust your actions, adjust your behavior to navigate how life is. You refuse? Your bloody beaten up soul shows you how well that work… not.
You are all beaten up… and yet you haven’t even considered to accept that it is your fault… your own self-centered, self-righteous ways that did it for you.
If you saw yourself in a movie…
…you would feel disgust, distaste, or at best pity at the petty despot, or bumbling idiot, clueless, self-damaging person you see on the screen.
Your reality-denying, reality-clashing behavior and attitude are largely consistent with your soul correction: about 20 different archetypes.
Your emotional state, your typical emotional state will be self-hate in most every soul correction.
And your life? At best, successful in one pillar of the four pillars of the good life: health, finances, love and fulfillment.
Two measures in the Starting Point Measurements:
- the number of predatory genes (selfish genes) and
- whether you have enough energy to do the work of becoming an expanding human being.
I am curious how they correlate.
Predatory Genes
It seems that even if you have all of the ten predatory genes, you spend your energy hating, being upset, angry, furious, depressed, trying to force, dominate, push your good ideas on other people, instead of redirecting those energies to growing, and clearing yourself of the misconceptions, the expectations, the assumptions, the fantasies, the greed, the ‘I am sure it is going to work’ self-delusion, and get to work. To expand.
In fact, people with ten predatory genes spend more energy on ‘desire to receive for the self alone’, abusing others, using others, and not doing the work only they can do… and therefore they feel being jerked by those predatory genes.
People with no or too few predatory genes play the prey… Once I adjust their predatory gene count to three, they almost always start to thrive.
Uncatchable Ball
The ball, I am trying to catch, causing the evolution of the human species, is an uncatchable ball. Humanity is heading in the wrong direction, or it is slimy, or it has too much anger to let itself be caught.
But that doesn’t mean I should just let the ball drop.
I am running for it, reaching for it, stretching for it.
If everyone had the same ambition as me: winning in the face of unbeatable odds… the world would be a very ineffective place. If I put as much energy into making money, having friends, looking/feeling good, and such, I could be the top of any ‘game’… but I am only interested in catching uncatchable balls… darn.
I used to use, as a filter, to accept you or not into my courses, whether you could sustain your water energizing efforts…
Or your diets.
I didn’t remember at the time, but there is a cyclic aspect to everyone’s behavior…
The machine
The machine that you live in has cycles. So far I have distinguished two cycles: the trigger, and the outcome. Once the machine is moved into operation through the trigger, it will run its course, and nothing will change it: it will lead to the predictable outcome.
My machine can be called, by the outcome, a devastated machine.
At some point I decide that it is smooth sailing from thereon… I decide it in health or wealth, growth, maybe even in relationship. I am on my way, nothing can stop me, I’ll be healthy… blah blah blah… or I will be rich. Filthy rich. Overconfidence.
That is the trigger, that cocky statement.
The outcome of the machine is utter devastation. Last summer I went from a 70% health number to where I was near death with 3% health number… the machine leaving me hardly able to walk, always sore left arm, etc.
The cycle of my machine in the area of health is about a year long, maybe a little less.
- Financially my cycle is about two years long, etc.
- In relationships I have a three and a half year cycle.
- In growth I have a nine-year cycle.
The trigger is always overconfidence. In every area.
The length of the cycle may depend on some early traumatic incident: at what age it happened.
The fuel of the machine is an unfulfilled, and unfulfillable desire: to be heard, to be respected, to be significant, to be considered special, to be loved, etc.
Why unfulfillable? Because the machine is not there to even notice when you get it. With regards to that base unfulfilled desire, you are a bottomless pit… you don’t even get wet.
My unfulfilled desire is to be lovable…
….but because I have never experienced being loved, or because the machine doesn’t care, I will never notice being loved… the machine just keeps on churning… like all machines do.
A few years ago I decided to follow the Hillel teaching:
If I am not for me, who is for me?
If I am only for myself, who am I?
And if not now, when?
I decided that I could start loving myself. Do what allows me to love myself… Not just hugging myself and whisper sweet nothings into my ears. NO. REAL love… earned.
This has been working like gangbusters. In many areas of life I am experiencing less feverish machine activities…
Except in my health… That area, the area most prone to seek proof that I am loved, that I would be missed if I died, that I can get attention even if I am not sick… hasn’t let up… Yet. Or maybe it is an uncatchable ball?
You can get the many recordings where I work with people to find their machine and machine moves in the Pebble webinars.
The pebble concept was my first foray into the idea of that something as small as a pebble prevents you from becoming all you could become… but you don’t.
Get the Pebble webinarsForcing
Now, depending on how much vested interest you have for yourself to rape life, force life, to make people wrong, you can learn to manage yourself so you don’t trigger the machine. Or if you accidentally do, you stop it before it goes into full cycle. You have 10 seconds, so you need to be fast. And you need to know what, you need to know how.
You need to learn to satisfy your cravings for significance, love, respect through giving it to yourself. Need to learn to recognize and catch the trigger.
Not willing? You’ll substitute for worth with anger, hate, self-righteousness, or optionally sulking like Eeyore.
Willing? You can increase that willingness through careful nurturing that energy that is willing to be redirected.
Warning: most people are unwilling.
Why? Because they would have to tell themselves the truth about themselves. Tell the truth about their lack of education, about their attitudes, their activities. Tell the truth that they are unproductive, imprecise, sloppy, stingy, or plain lazy, pleasure seeking, parasitic, or delusional.
The element, the critical element of whether you are willing or not willing, is your relationship with ‘wrong’. Depending on the degree that you free yourself up from wrong, every area, every minute of every day, you can track your current willingness, your willingness in the moment.
If you are still left with a grudge, or anger, or disappointment either with yourself or with others, you are not doing the work to clear yourself… You may do it willy-nilly, or like spot-cleaning, or like a short project here and there… but it won’t be enough. You won’t be able to free yourself up to become a human being.
I hate to be the one to break it to you…
Ultimately to free yourself and your energies up to become an Expanding Human Being, you need to commit to it.
The more the commitment directs your attitude and actions, the further into Expanding Human Being territory you can go.
I have two special workshops scheduled to help you with seeing what the work is, so you can commit to it or not.
Saturday, October 8, 2 pm. Integrity-live… without an organizing principle you can’t have integrity. Living by the organizing principle is what takes you to Human Being.
Seamless life… love yourself and your lifeGet light through moneyUse your Soul Correction to guide you
