I am sitting here. My insides are in turbulence. My shoulders are stiff. I am playing Freecell, which is a computer card game, if you didn’t know.
I suddenly have a doubt flash through my being: do I feel tense or tenser because of playing this game? I muscletest it. The answer is a strong Yes.
And this is what this article is about: how you are used to go a level of tension, to a level of anxiety, a level of trepidation, and then you’ll find a way to adjust your environment to raise your anxiety level to the level you are addicted to.
In my case, this is definitely so, but there is another aspect, and I ask my empaths and sensitives, to please listen up: when you are feeling anxiety that you have no reason to feel: you’ll create a reason for it.
I have no real reason to feel anxious. I am spending money I have, money I have earned. My things are going well, my health is excellent, I have no care on earth. Yet, I feel anxious. My adrenaline level is high, that is what is tightening my muscles.
My automatic mind kicks in, and starts to look for the reason to feel anxious. It makes up s-h-i-t about the upcoming event, the money, my weight, what have you… I am not conscious enough, I am not aware enough to its actions, so I don’t muscletest if the feeling is mine.
I just tested it and it isn’t. It is coming from the downstairs apartment. But my actions are now frantic, consistent with “I am anxious to…”
I catch myself spamming on Facebook, I get a warning… I laugh. I enjoy being called a spammer. I feel glee, I pulled one over them.
My balanced, peaceful, spiritual teacher me is completely gone: I am this raving “marketeer” hell bent on making it, making more, doing better, more, different.
This is a snapshot of me when I don’t catch that the mind is interpreting my feelings in its own way, and consequently adjusting my behavior to a disgusting, appalling, self-serving, hungry, greedy, amoral b-i-t-c-h. Lol. Funny only after noticing it.
Now, even if you are not an empath or a sensitive, the mind works the same way in you: you get a fleeting feeling, maybe it was a picture, maybe it was a smell, a sound, a memory, and you are pulled into your usual state of anguish, anxiety, fear, trepidation, or anger, greed, hunger, longing, yearning, whatever it is that you habitually feel (and complain about.)
What can you do to prevent or stop going to that same page (I call it your “home page”, as in internet home page, lol)?
Just consider that every trigger isn’t supposed to set you off. That you are not a loose cannon, at least you don’t have to be. Start raising your threshold of being set off, and have more room an tolerance to these triggers, by looking again if you really have reason to feel that way.
99% of the time you don’t.
And if you are an eating maniac, this will stop your trips to the fridge too. Feeling hunger may be your way of coping with your triggers.
I’ll report back to you how this experiment is going for me.
I haven’t gone to the fridge ever since I saw this addiction thing… hm. lol
