For me holidays are important, because they are not routine. And because it is so easy to be in a routine, and not consider it a rut… even I need something outside to change to take a different look at my own life, at my own business.
This time around I finally was willing to admit that my site needs redesigning.
I am not willing to overhaul it completely, but I am willing to make it completely compatible with mobile devices: already more than 50% of all visits are from mobile devices. I have been acting in concert with the 5% tweak principle I learned from Tai…
I am fairly competent with website design, but this job is beyond my capability.
And this is what I want to talk about now: I have decided to hire someone to do the work.
And then the s-h-i-t hit the fence.
Heart palpitation, headache, stomach pain… the whole nine yards.
In my life, in my experience, unless you have serious fear attack, you are still in the rut, rotting.
Fear is the indicator that you are treading on the border of what you know, what you are comfortable with.
It seems that I am not comfortable trusting anyone.
I trust myself. That’s it. If you heard me arguing with Source, you would laugh your ass off… I laugh too… lol. And argue… daily.
I muscletested. It is my soul correction… or the core issue of my soul correction: trusting another.
Muscletest says: it is not personal, no matter how many times I got hurt, or how many times I made good or bad choices. Good, I am happy about that… that it’s not personal experience based fear.
My next step is to create a context in which I am more empowered than in the default context: I can’t trust people.
I posted the “job” on a freelance site, and created it as a fixed priced “job” instead of hourly… less chance for me to be sucked in. I put a cap on my potential losses… other than time.
And then I asked myself: can I afford to lose X number of dollars on an experiment?
And yes, I can… No big deal.
Now, as I am waiting for applicants, I am focusing in on my lack of trust in other areas… I want to see as much as I can… use this holiday wisely.
I don’t want to attend a webinar I signed up for… Why? Lack of trust… lol.
I find that I don’t want to do anything outside of the ordinary… why? lack of trust.
Unless you know what is stopping you, it will keep stopping you.
It is like trying to close a door that has a door stop wedged under it. Good luck with it. But with the flick of the hand you can remove the door stop… and close the darn door.
Often just knowing what is stopping you, accurately, is enough. Consciousness will help you remove it. Temporarily.
I don’t expect that I will ever trust. I don’t think I can “fix” that. It is my soul correction, after all.
Soul correction, in spite of its name, correction, cannot be corrected. It can be managed only.
Creating a different context, creating a history of successfully hiring someone won’t fix it… But each time they create a tiny opening I can walk through and add a little new area, some new action to my living space… to the dance floor I can dance at.
Life is like a dance floor
Because life IS like a dance floor… it is either an open space or it is crowded with pillars, and other dancers that you bang into as you try to dance.
Life IS like a dance floor… you can either do the tango, or you can just stand there pretending to dance…
And it IS like a dance floor… and you can make it smaller by placing self-invented obstacles, or catch your tendency to do that and virtually enlarge the dance floor.
And it IS like a dance floor… you can stand around, or you can dance.
It is your life… it is really up to YOU.
One of the things people who read the book “Man’s search for meaning” by Victor Frankl, don’t get, is that it is possible to dance and fully use your dance floor, in any circumstance.
Is it ordinary? No. Ordinary is to play small, to be a victim, to believe in miracles.
I don’t teach being “ordinary” here… I am training you to become extraordinary…
That is what it is going to take to go to the next level of evolution, the level of human being.
