Some days the DS energies are stronger than others. Today is one of those days.
The energies can effect the emotions (just like the ones in the Heaven on Earth! just the opposite way: make them stronger instead of weakening them), other days the energies are like physical pain… if you imagine someone using a voodoo doll to torture you, by proxy.
I have an appointment at 3 and I need to decide if I should cancel it.
I connect to Source, and I muscletest: “Am I going to be well at 3?” The answer is yes. I know that the question was “illegal”, I am not allowed to divinate, ask questions about the future. Hm… I ask another question: “Am I OK now?” and the answer is yes.
I laugh and laugh and laugh. It’s funny.
I am always well. I am always OK. But I forgot it for a moment or two.
For a moment I looked at the circumstances (pain, anguish) and considered that I can only be OK without them.
And this is the trap you are in, my dear reader.
The “unless syndrome.”
The unless syndrome
It really begins early. The more accommodating your environment, the more cunning you are in getting what you want, the stronger it becomes.
The child, you, screamed for the bottle, screamed for your mother to stay with you, you did what you could, manipulated, forced, coerced…
Your starting point was and still is: unless I get what I want I won’t be OK.
You become needy, dependent, and ultimately miserable, even if and when you get what you want.
Why miserable? Because your context is that you need something, something more better or different to be well, happy, successful, smart, etc. And it’s never enough…
And as long as this is your context for you to be well, to be OK, you are screwed.
This is, by the way, the context underneath your two-bit behavior of having to fix everything, for having absolutely no tolerance for anything being different from “how it should be.”
You also live your life inside another invisible context, called “or-ness.”
You live like you are either this or that. You are either happy or not happy. That you are either smart or you are not smart. You are either somebody or nobody.
And you behave as if unless you can force life to become the “better” side of the “or” (smart, rich, skinny, lucky, successful, etc.), you are going to be unhappy, miserable, and feverishly busy to think your way out of the wrong side of “or.”
You got to this site seeking “solutions” for this or-ness problem, for being on the wrong side of “or”, and you are trying to use my teachings, my products, as a two-bit solution, to fix your life… and it’s not working, because context is decisive, and this site is not about fixing anything.
A pearl for the two bit solution of hunger is just another pebble. A diamond for the two bit solution of bling is just another bling.
You shove my pearls and diamonds down your throat, but they leave you hungry: they are not suitable for your two-bit solutions, you get them instead by forcing, coercing, manipulating, cajoling, stealing, lying, pretending and they keep you miserable. My site is about being happy, growing, not fixing… and my solutions don’t deepen your misery.
Until you change your context my site is useless to you, I am sorry.
How do you change your context?
Consider practicing replacing all your overt and covert “or’s” with “and”.
In my case: I am well and I am in pain. I will be well at 3 pm, and probably I will be in pain. That will not prevent me from fully being with the client who is paying me for my attention. I can be in pain, and I can be well. They are not connected.
Send me some versions of your use of “and” in the comment section. And use full sentences, so I don’t have to wonder what the heck you meant…
Depending on your worldview… whether you think you are well, or you are not well… it is always useful to find out to where you are at… Really useful.
For example, I am well, but I am dizzy and I am putting on weight. Am I well or am I fooling myself? The numbers say: I am well, nothing to worry about… but pay attention not to fall… that can kill me… lol
The other day I found out what makes a client of mine sick… exactly, and now he can eliminate that cause… all from his health measurements and a little looking.
Want to get your own? Here is the link to get it
my monthly income is unstable and I am well
Yeah, you’re right, the ending is emphasized. I guess I was trying to strictly stick to the pattern from your sentence: “In my case: I am well and I am in pain.”
I am drained and I am well.
Thank you.
Miko, just reverse the two sides of the “and”.
I am drained and I am well… almost as if you said: I am drained, but with all that I am well… or in spite of that I am well. The way you wrote it is kind of senseless…
I am well and I am drained. The two are not connected.
Oh I totally agree, in fact I was going to say that when I wrote that I was putting it in really simplistic terms, I was in no way trying to suggest that it was a simple task. It is in many cases nearly impossible, I suspect that is why we are so easily swayed by the ego to never change. It’s easier to just go along, or so we think.
When we are in a state of displeasure, whether that be an extreme case or just mildly so, I think most humans are often unable to stop and evaluate and make effective decisions that could change the context in that moment. We get too caught up in the drama, the emotions, as you have said before.
I am a dog trainer and I see this all of the time with dogs. When they are in a heightened state of arousal, positive or negative, the energy starts to climb very quickly and they can begin to become fearful which can push them into what we call the red zone. Here they lash out and react out of instinct and fear. The energy has to be released and more often than not it is released in the form of a bite.
Like we humans, they can’t stop and evaluate if they’ve never been taught to do so. If they always act out of instinct/ fear and never learn there is another option, they will bite more and more, eventually they become so aggressive that they are usually euthanized. Makes me think of the men and women on death row. If they could have learned to stop and evaluate, perhaps they would have had a better life.
just about it… but if you consider that when your feathers are ruffled, then you want to be right… then you can see that it’s easier said than done
So in really simplistic terms, we will benefit from catching ourselves when we start to feel something that ruffles our feathers, or begins to make us feel upset and at that moment if we can be present to what is actually occurring, realise that we are fine and what is happening, is just happening, it is what it is at that particular time and it has no relevance to anything other than that it is taking place in our midst, we can change our context, acknowledge what is and move on.
good start, Deneen
“unless I get what I want I won’t be OK.” I have struggled with this all my life. I am currently feeling this because my partners daughter is home from college for the summer. I don’t like the feeling of being forced to live with someone 24/7 every summer. I also don’t like feeling like this because she’s not a bad kid, I just don’t want to live with her, and no matter what I do, I can’t change that, I have no choice but to live with her. I am moody, on edge … Very Childish yes, but it’s how I feel. So I guess I need to change my context to, “I can be happy and live in the same house as her for the summer.” Not let myself be manipulated by my ego trying to keep me in my same patterns of behavior, stop me from changing. I also have to acknowledge the feelings because it’s O.K. to feel them and then I can move on and just try to be more present.
ok, it is clear that I have to write another article just about or-ness
“For example, you probably have it that your child either respects you or doesn’t respect you… don’t you?”
Yes and No. Mainly they behave respectfully, but sometimes they want to challenge and push, in the way that teenagers do. In those moments, if I am not conscious, then I do think in terms of ‘they either do respect me or they don’t, with no “and” ‘. (Polarising). If I am consciously interacting, nothing they say can push me off balance, and I can stay with, ”they are raising their voice and I’m ok with it.’
Or if the child talks in a certain way, it’s disrespect and you can’t be well… he/she either respects you or you’ll have to do something…”
This is helpful. Yes, I have been falling into this trap, which then makes me less conscious and more reactive.
‘They are raising their voice again, and I choose to widen my view.’ Does this work?
I see. If I understand you correctly, I am polarising. And reading your comment, I understand that doing that is irrelevant and unhelpful. I don’t understand how to state some examples that do work. Yet. But I will work on understanding, and post some when I do.
you first want to say the sentence how it lives: with “or.
neither of your examples work, they don’t fit.
For example, you probably have it that your child either respects you or doesn’t respect you… don’t you?
Or if the child talks in a certain way, it’s disrespect and you can’t be well… he/she either respects you or you’ll have to do something…
Giving factual examples is hard. I have lots of things I wish were true, but currently aren’t, like:
I can get angry and not go into judgement, or, I can listen to my child’s disrespect and not be reactive…
read the article again… your example is not factual. both sides of the “and” need to be facts.
human being doesn’t exist under 200… expanding doesn’t exist under 200
you may say: I have a vibration of 120, and I haven’t given up to raise it… or something of that effect.